Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
When I heard that Kristen Stewart was hosting Saturday Night Live this past weekend I was like ‘Ugh, really?’ Not because I don’t like her, I actually really do, however, that being said, she’s really painfully awkward. Great on film, but have you ever seen her at an awards show or trying to do an interview? Man, it’s painful to watch.
However, as it turns out, Kristen did a really, really good job, oh, and in case you were still speculating, she is so gay!
If you ever have a really important secret that you don’t want the world finding out, like that you have herpes or you think Khloe Kardashian is the prettiest Kardashian sister, then I strongly suggest you do not tell T-Pain, because that auto-tuned motherfucker does not know how to keep his mouth shut. In a recent radio interview T-Pain was asked about working with FKA Twigs and he dropped the bombshell that she was busy touring and being engaged to Robert Pattinson.
Once he realized he’d not only put his foot in his mouth, but his whole body from the waist down, he tried to play the whole thing off like it was an April Fool’s joke, but it was too late. Every Twi-hard from here to Ohio to Cairo (I assume there are Twi-hards everywhere) were officially crying tears of rage and betrayal into homemade “ROBSTEN FOREVER” T-Shirts.
Kristen Stewart is a bit on an anomaly to me. For years, people have assumed she was a secret lesbian because of the way she dressed and presented herself, but I never thought much into that because myself and K. Stew have very similar styles and I too have been mistaken for a lesbian because of my love of plaid and Canadian tuxedos. For years, she was one half of the scarily popular couple, Robsten, with Robert Pattinson, but lately it seems like maybe all those lesbian theories were true.
Aside from the fact she cut her hair off short (an OBVIOUS sign of lesbianism….God I hope people get my sarcasm), K. Stew has an alleged girlfriend who she even holds hands with in public sometimes. So, maybe 2015 will be the year Kristen Stewart turns it all around and makes me like her?
Some people have shame, and some people are Kristen Stewart. Unless you spent the last two years pulling a Sandra Bullock in Gravity,?floating aimlessly and annoyingly in space,?you probably know all about how a couple of years back Kristen cheated on her hunky Twilight co-star, Rob Pattinson, with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders.
The paparazzi got a a bunch of pictures of them macking hardcore on each other while she was still dating Rob, but, more importantly, while Rupert was still married to his baby-mama, Liberty Ross, who was also featured in the Snow White movie. Needless to say, this totally broke up Rupert and Liberty’s marriage and family. But does Kristen Stewart regret any of that? Nah, not really.
Someone legit gave up half a million dollars to spend time with one of the most loathed actress in Hollywood, Kristen Stewart. WHY?
A wealthy Middle Eastern prince who gave up the moolah to hang with the ungrateful, two-timing hoe-bag for 15 minutes. At least the money went towards a good cause, the Hurricane Sandy relief effort.
When Robert Pattinson was leaving music venue Troubadour in West Hollywood last Friday, he shoved a man in the face assuming he was a photographer… when he was in actual fact a security guard. Awkwaaard.
The poor bloke whose head was flung back and had his glasses knocked of his face was all oh em gee “He grabbed me on my face” but also reasoned “He thought I was someone else”.
This is why you leave the angry hulk like behavior to seasoned pro?s like Kanye West. He would simply fix his steely eyes on your way and have you pissing your pants at just ?Don't talk to me?don't even talk to yourself? before having your ass on the floor. If you're going to throw down you really ought to commit to the part.
Throughout the course of human history, there have been some truly?amazing?appearances on talk shows by completely shit-faced celebrities. It’s always magical when it happens … and I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we, the public, wish it happened more often.?
No one has ever believed those horseshit excuses about actors being nervous or?shy in interviews. It’s your job?to entertain people (for which you make an astronomical amount of money), and you can very well?have a chat in front of an adoring audience for a few minutes. However, if it helps you to get your drink on prior to (or during) the interview, then by all means chug-a-lug.
Star-crossed, twenty-something beauties, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, recently returned from separate promotional tours for their upcoming movie, Breaking Dawn – Part?2. During their press tours, they both revealed?bits of information that are guaranteed to make hardcore?Twi-hards even harder.
On an Australian talk show, Rob?freely discussed?his awkward?love scene with Kristen in the new movie. According to Rob, they were challenged to recreate?”the greatest vampire sex you’ve ever had,” but their?faces of ecstasy elicited more laughter from the?camera crew than memories to file for future wankings.
Who knew that this face was capable of loving any one man, never mind two? Kristen Stewart is a massive whore, it seems, enraging Twihards everywhere (including Youtube user Nuttymadam, who is, well, a nutty madam). Not content with sleeping with quiffed strong, silent dreamboat Robert Pattinson, Stewart decided she needed to also get friendly with director Rupert Sanders.
Of course, no good comes from cheating. But there’s a small glimmer of hope to be found in the sordid situation. It turns out that Kristen Stewart isn’t in fact a soulless, smile-free dummy whose job it is to brood and look depressed on celluloid and red carpets. She’s someone capable of romantic feelings – she has so many feelings that she couldn’t just share them with one person! (Which is in itself a little scuzzy, but frankly we didn’t know she had it in her so it’s impressive nonetheless.)
OH MY OMG! We can barely contain our gawping tedium at the news that the first footage from the final instalment of the Twilight saga has debuted online! It has Robert Pattinson in saying the least romantic thing in the world in it!
However, this film is all about?Bella who is played by Kristen Stewart.
In this stupid installment, Bella becomes a vampire, which of course, means she gets the chance to do something that all actors aspire to do – stare menacingly at a deer. Click over to watch the trailer.
