In the latest of our seemingly endless supply of celebrities on Twitter, this week we focus on TV ‘personalities’.

Yes, as if dominating our television sets was not enough for some actors and presenters – you can now read their private thoughts on Twitter.

So what earth-shattering insights have we discovered about the inhabitants of TV land? Now, we realise this is rather a sweeping statement – but from what we can tell, TV stars spend half of their time eating and the other half talking about it.

They (or their ‘people’), also spend a lot of time mentioning their new shows, which we suppose is to be expected.

But we have tried to cut the wheat from the chaff and only include TV stars who update regularly and who actually have something interesting to say. You may disagree – you usually do. But feel free to send us some we missed.

We have also added a few celebrity Twits who are to be avoided at all cost. This could be for a variety of reasons, but it’s mainly because they never use their accounts, they only use it to plug their own shows or basically because they are about as interesting as dog sick. Enjoy!

32. David Silverman
Simpsons Animator and director
http://twitter.com/tubatron
Typical tweet: “Now that I’ve lost so much on the stock market, it pains me that I didn’t spend money frivolously instead.”

31. Graham Norton
Annoying noise
http://twitter.com/GrahamNorton
Typical tweet: “Sleep now, feet hurt, too much time in high heels!”

30. Brooke Hogan
Errr, on TV sometimes
http://twitter.com/BrookeHogan
Typical tweet: “Just sick of all the comments about me looking like a man.”

29. John Cabrera
TV actor
http://twitter.com/johncabrera
Typical tweet: “Great night. But man am I tired. I still have to watch the new PG Porn and update my latest post about it.”

28. Tim Lovejoy

Smug TV presenter
http://twitter.com/timlovejoy
Typical tweet: “The Dalai Lama is on dodgy ground with his sayings of the day! Is that all he’s got in his locker? Who does he think is gonna win the Prem?”

27. Dawn Porter
TV journalist, documentary maker and food-obsessed Twitterer
http://twitter.com/hotpatootie
Typical tweet: “Had the best steak of my life last night. a porterhouse. HUGE. with fries and broccoli…I have the remains of it in the fridge…YUMMIES!

26. Richard Bacon
Occasional TV presenter
http://twitter.com/richardpbacon
Typical tweet: “I saw a man wearing a miniature top hat at a jaunty angle. Show’s over. Great. Another level of beauty and another level of eccentricity.”

25. Rainn Wilson

Dwight Schrute from The Office
http://twitter.com/rainnwilson
Typical tweet: “It’s impossible for mermaids to have vaginas.”

24. Fearne Cotton
UK Presenter
http://twitter.com/fearnecotton
Typical tweet: “I would wee a bit if I met Brad and Ang together! They’re all perfect and shiny!”

23. Amber Benson
Tara in Buffy
http://twitter.com/amber_benson
Typical tweet: “Free bar at the wedding would be lovely. One drink and I’ll be on my ass…or making an ass of myself. Either ass works.”

22. Philip Schofield
TV presenter and silver fox
http://twitter.com/Schofe
Typical tweet: “Meeting now about curtain poles! Wish we’d never started re-decorating! Please be quiet and they won’t know I’m here!!!”

21. Janina Gavankar
The L Word actress
http://twitter.com/janinaz
Typical tweet: “I think my brain has splintered.”

20. James Kyson Lee

Ando in Heroes
http://twitter.com/jameskysonlee
Typical tweet: “During lunch, I take Mr. Muggles for walks… then we get hit on by all the chihuahuas on the street.”

19. Graham Linehan
Sitcom writer behind Father Ted, Black Books and The IT Crowd
http://twitter.com/Glinner
Typical tweet: “Brandon Flowers and Chris Martin should have a duel.”

18. David Hewlett
Dr. Rodney McKay in Stargate Atlantis
http://twitter.com/dhewlett
Typical tweet: “They’re loading the automatic shotguns…but I’m about to be wrapped…I’ve got to say…sometimes it sucks to be the nerd!”

17. Brea Grant

The fast one in Heroes
http://twitter.com/breagrant
Typical tweet: “Iced green tea is the reason I wake up in the morning.”

16. Mischa Barton
OC actress
http://twitter.com/MischaBarton
Typical tweet: “I dropped my bag and all my make-up is shattered .”

15. George Takei
Star Trek legend
http://twitter.com/georgetakei
Typical tweet: “Who else is getting excited about the new Star Trek movie coming out?”

14. Rick Sanchez
American TV news anchor
http://twitter.com/ricksanchezcnn
Typical tweet: “Going on the air at CNN Espanol, doing A-Rod. Shouldn’t he just say baseball all but told me to do it?”

13. Rob Brydon
Welsh comic
http://twitter.com/RealRobBrydon
Typical tweet: “Almost ten hours of sleep, a modern day personal best!”

12. Robert Llewellyn
Kryton from Red Dwarf
http://www.twitter.com/bobbyllew
Typical tweet: “Okay tweeters, I’m back in rubber tomorrow, better get a bit of close down, insert re-charge socket re-boot in the morning.”

11. John Lithgow
Actor and namedropper
http://twitter.com/John_Lithgow
Typical tweet: “Stared at a blank screen for 3 hrs this morning. 3 hrs! This writing is pure hell.”

10. Alex Albrecht
American television personality, actor and podcaster.
http://twitter.com/alexalbrecht
Typical tweet: “Getting ready for some rainy day World of Warcraft… you know with my friends, so I’m not a total shut-in .”

9. William Shatner

Legend
http://twitter.com/WilliamShatner
Typical tweet: “Ricardo Montalban was a wonderful man. I saw him on Broadway. I was entertained by his movies. I loved working with him on the film we made.”

8. David Lawrence
Played puppetmaster Eric Doyle on Heroes.
http://twitter.com/dhlawrencexvii
Typical tweet: “Why do people’s twitpics of what they’re currently eating remind me of liposuction surgery documentaries on The Discovery Channel? Lighting?”

7. Felicia Day
Buffy actress and rising star of Twitter
http://twitter.com/feliciaday
Typical tweet: “General note: If your avatar picture is Hitler, chances are I’m not gonna accept your friend request on ANY social network, LOL.”

6. Hugh Lawrie
TV actor
http://twitter.com/hughlaurie
Typical tweet: “There simply must be legislation against this kind of overtime.”

5. Greg Grunberg
Matt Parkman – the one who can read minds in Heroes. Eric Weiss in Alias.
http://twitter.com/greggrunberg
Typical tweet: There is nothing “sexier” than kissing a chick that tastes like an ashtray. Smoking is the WORST!!!!!!!”

4. Wil Wheaton
Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: the Next Generation.
http://twitter.com/wilw
Typical tweet: “Watching a squirrel bury, dig up, and rebury acorns in my yard makes me happy. Keep going, Mr. Squirrel. You’ve got the heart of a champion.”

3. Brent Spiner
Data from Star Trek
http://twitter.com/brentspiner
Typical tweet: “What do Brando, Cary Grant and Brent Spiner have in common? Answer: All one degree from Eva Marie Saint…and that’s about all.”

2. Jonathan Ross
Presenter and former Fawlty Towers actor-tormentor
http://twitter.com/wossy
Typical tweet: “Have finally decided that when I die I would like to come back as a mountain bear. Thank you.”

1. LeVar Burton
The guy with the funny glasses in Star Trek: Next Generation
http://twitter.com/levarburton
Typical tweet: “Oh yeah. Eight days as a non-smoker and loving it! Keep breathing.”

Ones to avoid

1. Bob Vila
Home improvement TV host
http://twitter.com/bobvilacom
Typical tweet: “Quick tip – when shovelling snow, you can spray the shovel end with a lubricant, such as Pam cooking spray, to help snow slide off easier.”

2. JJ Abrams
TV producer, writer and crap Twitterer
http://twitter.com/JJ_Abrams
Typical tweet: “I totally forgot about Twitter. I know I am not regular on here but really don’t have time for computers… errr or anything.”

3. Andi Peters
UK TV presenter – sort of
http://twitter.com/xxandip
Typical tweet: “The curry was great. I love cooking, tonight I’ll have my fave meal…fish fingers!!”

4. Brooke Burke
Winner of Dancing With the Stars (7th Season)
http://twitter.com/brookeburke
Typical tweet: “Listening to David play backgammon. Thinking about taking a yoga class today. I need it!”

5. Sophia Bush
One Tree Hill actress
http://twitter.com/SophiaBush
Typical tweet: No idea, she’s restricted access

US TOO! FOLLOW HECKLERSPRAY ON TWITTER TOO!

We know plenty of celebrity twits – but how about celebrity Twitterers?

The blue bird of Twitter has been soaring recently, attracting some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry to share their thoughts with the internet community. It’s not hard to understand why it’s such a big hit among the inhabitants of celeb-land – after all, it means they get a chance to talk about their favourite topic – themselves.

For those of you who have never heard of Twitter (where the hell have you been?), it’s basically the latest social messaging fad.

Of course, at hecklerspray, we do not have PR slaves at our beck and call. We also try and avoid communicating with other people as much as possible – that’s why we’re based in London. So we rely on some homeless guy called Barry to fill our fans in with the latest goings-on at Hecklerspray Towers, fed only by the stale Jaffa Cakes and half-drunk cans of flat Dr Pepper we throw his way from time to time.

It’s proved to be a big hit, with some even suggesting that it’s better than the site itself. Of course, this is, firstly, totally wrong, because on the site, well, we have pictures and stuff. It’s also highly frustrating, as we could have saved a fortune on Stu’s wages.

Anyway, as we mentioned before, some celebs – let’s call them Twits – have no such problems. They happily tell those who follow them on Twitter what they’re up to.

Well, to make things easy for you, we have decided to compile a few lists of celebrities you can follow on Twitter. What you do from thereon, is entirely up to you – but just remember who gave you the details in the first place.

This week: comedians.

30. Traci Skene
Comedian from New Jersey
http://twitter.com/traciskene
Typical tweet: “I have to get rid of my gray roots… so I’m going to kill all the old people in my family.”

29. Dominic Holland
Sometimes funny UK comic
http://twitter.com/domholland
Typical tweet: “My wife is a bit melancholy these days – body like a melon, face like a colly.”

28. Josh Sneed
US comedian
http://twitter.com/joshsneed
Typical tweet: “Wasn’t Sophia Loren just in the dead actor’s montage?”

27. Phil Jupitus
Tubby UK comic

http://twitter.com/phillipjupitus
Typical tweet: “I’m loving those monkeys, those lovely little monkeys.”

26. Linda Gambino
US comic
http://twitter.com/lindagambino
Typical tweet: “F%ck off cupid, with your stupid wings and arrows.”

25. Frankie Boyle
Very funny Scottish comedian who would be higher but has not really said anything funny yet. Come on Frankie!!
http://twitter.com/frankieboyle
Typical tweet: “Having a ganster party.”

24. Richard Herring
British comic and writer
http://twitter.com/Herring1967
Typical tweet: “Getting an Oscar might be even better if it did have shampoo inside.”

23. Tim Minchin
Odd-looking Aussie comedian

http://twitter.com/timminchin
Typical tweet: “I now have a cold. This is good, cos being on a plane with a 2yr old for 20 hours was going to be too easy. Love a challenge, esp w snot.”

22. Eric Schwartz
US comedian
http://twitter.com/ericschwartz
Typical tweet: “Did Sophia Loren win Best Actress for her role as Chewbacca?”

21. Dave Hill
American funnyman
http://twitter.com/mrdavehill
Typical tweet: “I just had a pizza party with my parents and I ate so much pizza my parents couldn’t believe it! We might have ice cream later!“

20. David Mitchell
UK comedian
http://twitter.com/RealDMitchell
Typical tweet: “Thank you so much for believing I’m the real me! I’ve double checked and I still am.”

19. John Wessling
US comic and person who came with the funniest line during the Oscars (below)
http://twitter.com/johnwessling
Typical tweet: “another monday and yet another pinched nerve in my neck…What the FUCK??? Sweet Purple Jesus! Can’t I just have one normal goddamn day?!.”

18. Dave Gorman
UK funnyman
http://twitter.com/Dave_Gorman
Typical tweet: “Not sure how far I cycled. Bethnal Green to Broxbourne/Nazeing way. And then back. Mostly following the River Lea. Any idea how far that is?“

17. Nick Thune
US comedian

http://twitter.com/nickthune
Typical tweet: “When’s the award for Brad Pitt’s Best Wife?”

16. Penn Jillette
Comic and magician
http://twitter.com/pennjillette
Typical tweet: “Best compliment at the Rio, from a guy in a cowboy hat, ‘I’ve gutted a lot of deer and you’re ‘Sawing a Woman into Halves’ was perfect’.”

15. Doug Benson
US comedian
http://twitter.com/dougbenson
Typical tweet: “Ben Kingsley and Mickey Rourke should be Bond villains. In the same movie!”

14. Danny Wallace
UK comedian who is on TV sometimes
http://twitter.com/misterwallace
Typical tweet: “Stephanie Beecham gets makeup on her feet. I did not know girls did this.”

13. Rob Brydon
Welsh comic and star of UK hit show Gavin and Stacey

http://twitter.com/RealRobBrydon
Typical tweet: “Almost ten hours of sleep, a modern day personal best!”

12. Mike Bridenstine
US comedian
http://twitter.com/brido
Typical tweet: “Ryan Seacrest interviewing Miley Cyrus is like watching shit interview diarrhea.”

13. Alan Davies
Stephen Fry sidekick and tramp biter
http://twitter.com/alandavies1
Typical tweet: “Holy smoke! ‘Go away and get yourself reconstructed’, as a drama teacher once said to me.”

12. Ian Hislop
Smug UK satirist and Tin-Tin lookalike
http://twitter.com/ianhislop
Typical tweet: “OK, everyone, I think this guy needs friends; he is from Glastonbury and not many have electricity down there, quite a feat!”

11. Alan Carr
UK funnyman with teeth like a row of dilapidated housing
http://twitter.com/AlanCarr
Typical tweet: “Regretting eating that extra portion of tenderstem broccoli, got awful wind. Nearly blew out my scented candle”

10. Russell Brand
TV presenter, ‘comedian’ and Cockney urchin
http://twitter.com/rustyrockets
Typical tweet: “I’m in bed with my cat Morrissey. He’d be furious if he knew I was writing this. He conveys affection by milking me, sans consent. Grim.”

9. Eddie Izzard
UK comic who is not as funny as he used to be (and it hurts us to say it)
http://twitter.com/EddieIzzard
Typical tweet: “Sometimes life doesn’t let you decide between cake or death.”

8. Stephen Colbert
Captain America

http://twitter.com/stephencolbert
Typical tweet: “Remember kids! In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant.”

7. John Cleese
Some bloke who was in James Bond or something
http://twitter.com/JohnCleese
Typical tweet: “Thank you everyone for the messages. Remember I am practically dead, barely functional. Your patience is appreciated. Will blog again soon”

6. Jimmy Fallon
American Comedian and TV presenter
http://twitter.com/jimmyfallon
Typical tweet: “I was never a waiter. I was a bag boy, bottle return boy and a video store clerk. Btw no disrespect to waiters. Hardest job.”

5. Bert Kreischer
US comedian
http://twitter.com/bertkreischer
Typical tweet: “Sara jessica parker’s tits are kicking goldie hawns tits in the ass.”

4. Steve Agee
US comedian
http://twitter.com/steveagee
Typical tweet: “I’d like to see Reese’s wither’d poon!”

3. John Hodgman
Daily Show contributor and generally amusing bloke
http://twitter.com/hodgman
Typical tweet: “A young child with a high fever pointed out to me that the wicked witch of the west is actually a wiccan.”

2. Tina Fey
Funny woman who Sarah Palin looks a lot like
http://twitter.com/tinafey
Typical tweet: “What does Monica Lewinski say to her new boyfriend? ‘It’s close, but it’s no cigar’.”

1. Stephen Fry
English national treasure

http://twitter.com/stephenfry
Typical tweet: “600 people went to the theatre, not to see Oliver but to compete in a paper & chocolate wrapper rustling competition. Others came to cough.”

Now us! Follow us! Follow us on Twitter too!

Le good and le bad.

Folded:

• Fentimans’ ginger beer (‘botanically brewed’ – send us some please)
• Has Rob Brydon got hair plugs? (certainly looked like it on telly the other day. They’d probably suit him – if we couldn’t see where the stitches burrow into his scalp)
• www.cjdavies.com (he’s not a happy bunny, but he is a funny bunny)
• High Velocity Bowling on PS3 (just don’t crack your 42” plasma by letting the controller fly out of your hand)
• Look at this dapper dude (right on, prez)

Creased:

• They’re going to make a prequel to The Thing (even though this is written by Battlestar Galactica regular Ronald D. Moore, it’s still about as welcome as a cold sore)
• Dreary Meryl Streep (and she hopes the Oscar goes to…)
• Facebreaker on PS3 (make a boxer from your own photo who looks nothing like you. That’s it)
• Kate Winslet in ‘that dress’ (she steps out of the dress, gravity takes its toll like a pebble dropped from 10,000 feet. That’s the truth, guys. The sad, sad truth)
• Cristiano Ronaldo (prat? Oh, God, yes)