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Rip Torn Arrested

Rip Torn Goes To Drunk Old Bank Robber Rehab

by Stuart Heritage on February 2, 2010 4 Comments

It’s fair to say that Rip Torn is the Tiger Woods of getting hammered on booze and breaking into banks with a gun.

And what did Tiger Woods do? That’s right, he tried to repair his image by going to rehab. So that’s what Rip Torn has done, too – after being released from jail following his alleged armed, drunken bank break-in on Friday, Rip Torn has apparently decided to check into rehab to mend his ways.

That means that before too long Rip Torn will stop being known as the 78-year-old man who gets drunk and stages late-night armed bank break-ins, and will start being known as the 78-year-old man who doesn’t get drunk and stage late night armed bank break-ins. We don’t know why he’s bothering. The first one’s obviously better.

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Rip Torn Arrested For Ridiculous Drunken Armed Bank Break-In

by Stuart Heritage on February 1, 2010 3 Comments

Rip Torn is 78 years old. Until Friday night, the stupidest thing he’d ever done was Freddy Got Fingered.

That’s now the second-stupidest. Because, on Friday night, Rip Torn was arrested on suspicion of drunkenly forcing himself into a bank with a loaded gun. Read that again if you like – Rip Torn from Men In Black and Robocop 3 was arrested because he apparently got drunk, grabbed a loaded gun and broke into his local bank through a back window.

Which sort of makes Rip Torn the new, drunker OJ Simpson, doesn’t it? Maybe now he’ll write a book called If I Did It, Heresh How It Fuggin Happund Yowld Bashterdsh. We’d read it.

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