It’s well into January, which means it’s well into celeb weight loss and fitness DVD season.
Yes, you too can go from a flabby, miserable mess to a honed and toned image of perfection with the help of your favourite smug and smiling TV personality. Of course, you won’t have the added benefits of airbrushing, body makeup, stomach stapling, liposuction and tummy tucks. But that’s your problem. We’re only trying to help you become a better person.
Just look at Hannah Waterman, of Stenders and famous Dad fame. She went from a pretty, happy-looking size 16 to a tense, stretched and sculpted size 6. The same dress size as Jordan, or a small cat, or a large rat, or… you get the idea: it’s small.
While Simon Cowell prepares to spend the late Summer/Early Autumn explaining to people with special needs that while they might be special, it’s not the good singing special that he’s after, the Strictly Come Dancing judges have already vetted their contestants, fishing instead from the very deep waters of minor celebrity. 
