Articles tagged with: Rick Salomon
Pamela Anderson seems to wish she could return to the past - to a time before hepatitis, miscarriage, divorce, Rick Salomon and definitely, definitely before Kid Rock. The whole world wants to return to that particular time. But the particular time she seems to want to return to is the one where a drummer from a bit of a crap, over-hyped band who likes to get his junk out on stage gets to stick it to her on a regular basis. Yes, kids, Pamela Anderson is back with Tommy Lee.
Praise be to the heavens above - Pamela Anderson's marriage to Rick Salomon has been officially annulled.
Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon managed just over two months of happy marriage before they separated, which we think could be a record for both of them. We're sure they're very proud, either way.
And it was a smart move for Pamela Anderson to choose an annulment over a divorce, because legally it means the marriage never existed. And that means that the next time Pamela Anderson short-sightedly stumbles into a marriage with a vastly unsuitable man, she'll only be a double-divorcee instead of a triple. That third one would have put all kinds of men off.
All Pamela Anderson wants from life is true love, preferably true love that ends after a couple of months and makes her look a bit foolish in retrospect.
And, God bless her, that's exactly what Pamela Anderson got with Rick Salomon - the man who she married, split up with, possibly got pregnant by, got back together with and is now seeking annulment from.
Now it turns out that Pamela Anderson has cited 'fraud' to end her marriage to Rick Salomon. Now, you should remember that there are only a limited number of grounds for annulment and Pamela Anderson probably checked the 'fraud' box not because she'd literally been defrauded, but because there wasn't a more accurate explanation available to her, like 'I'm an emotionally-backwards airhead dicksplat.'
Pamela Anderson. The woman has such good intentions, you know. She’s always picking up random men from the grubby trashy loser pound and marrying them, only to have each marriage fail miserably.
We hate to tell you this, Pam, but you just gotta let some of those strays be put down, honey. We’ve had to do the same thing with several of Paris Hilton’s boyfriends. Just gotta let them go…
But now, Pamela Anderson finds herself doing the failed marriage thing again with that Rick Salomon guy she married. No, wait. Scratch that. She’s just getting an annulment this time,not a divorce. Oh, okay then. That’s much better.
Stop, stop, stop - take the bunting down, unwrap the Larry The Hepatitis Monkey toy you've just bought, because Pamela Anderson isn't pregnant.
Yes, we know we just said that Pamela Anderson was pregnant, but that's because we thought she was and, well, the thought of Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon's genes colliding to create an unborn baby with the potential to become an internet sex tape Olympian was just too darn exciting.
Pamela Anderson's blog, you see, has the word 'no' written on it. Twice. So that's another hope of ours dashed.
You gotta hand it to Pamela Anderson, folks.
Why, you ask? Because Pamela Anderson has an uncanny knack for being dysfunctional enough to keep herself in the media, but not enough to paint her face like a clown and die of drugs, or have to pee in a cup for a judge and get her kids taken away. She’s classy, alright.
And now she’s stepped it up a notch. Pamela Anderson is reportedly pregnant with her latest find of a pervert husband, Rick Salomon, which makes sense because daddy’s got to have an heir to his illustrious sex-tape fortune.
Pamela Anderson now gets divorced with such tick-tock regularity that it's become almost reassuring - so when Pamela Anderson tries to work out the differences with her husbands instead of just ditching them, it's a bit weird.
No, it's worse than weird. It's wrong. Although it was reported yesterday that Pamela Anderson was ready to fulfil her duties as an out-of-touch celebrity bimbette by divorcing her most recent husband Rick Salomon after two months of happy marriage, the latest news is that perhaps Pamela Anderson won't get divorced after all. A post on Pamela Anderson's blog that worryingly reads "We're working things out..." has caused suspicions that she's already having second thoughts. So let's hope that Pam comes to her senses and completes her divorce soon, because we're pretty sure that a lasting Pamela Anderson marriage will upset the natural order of things and make the moon fall out of the sky and the seas boil.
Pamela Anderson has made some mistakes in her life. She got that Barb Wire tattoo before she knew there wasn’t a franchise a’ brewin’, she quit Home Improvement before Tim Allen could secure her a role in either of those Toy Story movies. Perhaps most importantly, she didn’t sleep with a drunken David Hasselhoff even after he told her she’d never work in this town again.
That last bit is purely assumption on our part of course – but it’s a safe assumption. After all, eventually everyone sleeps with the Hoff. We did at our website launch party, and we’re not that ashamed. A Boys II Men best-of album filled the air as us and the Hoff waxed romantical in that dark, very dark janitor’s closet - but darkness such as that has never stopped sweet memories. Let us tell you - that man is built like a mop & bucket.But back to Pam’s mistakes – her most recent, apparently, is that she got married again. She’s reconciling all this by filing for divorce, and then maybe sending her most recent husband straight to hell! Perhaps.
