review - HecklerSpray

Zero Pre-Teen Gang Bangs Occur: Krysta’s Review of “It”

September 10th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I have been a HUGE Stephen King fan for twenty years and was naturally beyond excited when I found out that his classic novel (and my favourite of his novels) It was getting made into a big budget R-rated movie.

It was obviously already done before with the legendary 1990 made-for-tv movie, but given that it was made for tv, a lot of the more gruesome shit had to be left out. So when I found out it was being made into an R-rated movie for theatres, my big question was: will they include the gang bang between the 7 main 11-year-olds?

Season 13 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians: A Drunk Review

March 13th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So last night E! blessed us with the thirteenth season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Funny enough, thirteen is actually the number of nose jobs that have occurred on the cast members since it’s premiere! Talk about coming full circle!

Last night, I watched the Kardashians like I always do: alone in bed, drinking white wine. I found the premiere episode mega riveting and totally blog worthy, but was too lazy to get my computer, so instead wrote out a blog in the Notes section on my phone.

How I’m Handling 2016 (in GIFS): Part 2

December 27th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

A couple of months back I did a blog on how I’d been handling 2016 via GIFs. At the time, I dealt with my feelings about everything from Beyoncé’s Lemonade to Brangelina’s split, the shit show election to Kimye outing Taylor Swift as shady, Brexit to the constant drivel that comes out of Lena Dunham’s mouth.

I really thought that, with a mere two and a half months left to the year, nothing could get much worse (or better). I thought maybe pop culture had blown my mind enough for one year. But nope, Trump got elected and for some reason we still let Lena Dunham speak publically. Here’s how I’ve been handling 2016’s bullshit since October 8th, when I last aired my feelings. Once again, presented in GIFs…

Golden Globe Noms are a Buncha Films I Haven’t Heard Of

December 12th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Around this time every year, studios get to pimping out their big time Oscar bait and there are at least a dozen movies I really want to see because they look so fucking fantastic. The past two years have actually been really great for film, but this year the only movies I was mega jazzed on were The Witch and Zootopia (both were siiiiiick).

I’ve legit had numerous conversations with multiple people about how we had NO idea what would even be nominated for the Oscars this year, but today the Golden Globe nominations were released and, amazingly, it’s a bunch of shit I’ve never even heard of.

The Dumbest Things Rihanna has Worn in 2016

August 13th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Last week, I was at a birthday party when my friend, Becky, came up to me and asked if I could please blog about that stupid ass, sparkly snuggy that Rihanna is wearing in the This is What You Came For music video. I told her that as the video had been out like a month, blogging about it would be a little pointless, BUT, I could still blog about stupid ass shit Rihanna wears.

Here’s the thing, I am ALLLLL about Rihanna. I think she’s shameless, bad ass, insanely sexy, and, for the most part, very fashionable, but sometimes she’ll wear stuff and I’ll be like smdh, I just can’t with this shit. Here are some of Rihanna’s most Oh-My-God-Girl-No fashion choices so far in 2016.

10 Things to Watch if you Loved Stranger Things

July 26th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, in case you couldn’t tell from my previous random television review, I really, REALLY enjoyed the Netflix series Stranger Things. From the story to the score to the cinematography, it fulfilled all my needs in terms of shit I like about good story telling. Plus, you know, I’m an insanely nostalgic person who likes to feel warm and fuzzy inside and this show did that for me.

If you’re like me and you really dug Stranger Things and feel really bummed out now that you’ve watched the entire thing, here are 10 things (in no specific order) that you could sit down and watch that might make you feel the same way Stranger Things did.

Amy Schumer and Amber Rose Made the Best Ass Song Ever

April 13th, 2015 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

In case you haven’t noticed (how could you not notice?!), butts and butt fetishes have totally taken over the world. I mean, 2014 was really the year of the ass in music (we all know I’m hoping 2015 will be the year of the side boob), and while I thoroughly enjoyed all the big booty videos, none of the songs and videos really did the female ass any justice…until now.

Comedian Amy Schumer and person who is famous for some reason, Amber Rose, got together and made a song and accompanying music video about booties that really captures the beauty, and utility, of the female buttocks. The song? “Milk Milk Lemonade”.

A Definitive Ranking of Taylor Swift’s Boyfriends

September 29th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

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Taylor Swift has gotten a lot of shit over the years for her extremely publicized romantic relationships and, I mean, let’s be real, she brings a lot of it on herself. She kind of puts all her shit out there for everyone to see. I mean, if T-Swizzle were a regular twenty-something girl, she’d be the chick that puts every detail of every relationship in her Facebook status, know what I’m sayin’?

Anyway, Taylor Swift has dated some jerks and some gems, and, given the fact that I have a love/hate relationship with T Swift, I’ve decided to sit down and do a definitive ranking of the top 10 guys she’s dated from worst to best. Yes, I know, the fact that a grown woman is spending her evening doing this is goddamn tragic.

The 20 Best Coming of Age Movies of All Time

February 26th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

The Oscars are just around the corner, so needless to say, I’ve got movies on the brain. In case you haven’t guessed it, I’m a bit of a movie fanatic. When I was growing up, the video store by my house used to send my family gift packages for Christmas because we basically kept them in business. When I was 14 they asked my mom if they could give me a job since they might as well pay me if I’m going to be there all the damn time. But enough about that.

So since I’ve been thinking about movies so much lately, I got to thinking about my favorite movie genres, and one stood out as the obvious winner: coming of age movies. I think I’ll mentally forever be a 12-year-old boy, so coming of age movies get me every time. There are some super?famous ones that everyone loves, and then there are some more obscure that everyone should love, and I’ve decided to compile a list (in no particular order) of the?20 that I think are the best, and if you don’t agree, well, shut up! Get your own blog!

An American Horror Story: Fashion at the Grammys 2014

January 28th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

I will argue with anyone who will listen about how American Horror Story: Coven is hands down the best season of American Horror Story in every way possible. Those bad bitches make my week! Well, if you tuned in to the Grammys on Sunday night, you’d see that apparently I’m not the only big fan of American Horror Story: Coven.

This year’s Grammys were like my fashion dreams come true. So much spooky witch fashion, it was Coven meets The Craft and I died and went to all black heaven. Madonna was like The Supreme of the Grammys and she brought her entire witches in training army with her. If you don’t know what I mean by Supreme, you maybe shouldn’t be reading a blog with a lot of AHS references.