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Madonna/ Britney/ Timberlake Queasy Threeway – Tonight
By Stuart Heritage on Thursday, November 6, 2008 at 6:00pm | 4 Comments
Madonna/ Britney/ Timberlake Queasy Threeway – Tonight If you're a fan of awkward sexually-charged small-talk, you could do a lot worse than getting to Madonna's concert in Los Angeles tonight.
Why? Because Madonna plans to have two very special guests performing with her - Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. If Madonna pulls it off, it has the potential to be the messiest reunion in history - don't forget that all three of them have had their tongue inside Britney Spears' mouth at one point or another, with the possible exception of Britney Spears.
If you ask us, this reeks of publicity stunt. And not even a good one - if Madonna really wanted people to go to her show tonight she wouldn't just stop at Justin Timberlake - she'd hire everyone Britney Spears has ever slept with. Britney and Justin? Pah. Britney and Justin and Kevin Federline and Adnan Ghalib and that guy Britney married for like half an hour? All voguing like their lives depended on it? Now we're talking.
Good News, Stinking Jobless Wasters – Phish Are Back
By Stuart Heritage on Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 11:00am | 37 Comments
Good News, Stinking Jobless Wasters – Phish Are Back Are you a fan of tedious, formless, mostly improvised songs that go on for three hours longer than the point of normal human endurance?
You are? Well have we got some good news for you! Phish - the defunct jam-band predominantly famous for a) having some ice cream named after it and b) totally soundtracking that epic hacky sack marathon you and your buddies had in your parent's backyard one afternoon back when you were 28 - are reuniting.
Phish have announced three special comeback dates in Virginia for next March, their first since disbanding in 2004. We'll definitely be attending the Phish reunion shows - it's been too long since we last caught beard nits off a hippy after stumbling into the middle of a drearily self-satisfied drum circle in the carpark of an old WWF arena.
Bros: The Latest Reforming Band You Don’t Care About
By Stuart Heritage on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 11:30am | 12 Comments
Bros: The Latest Reforming Band You Don’t Care About

There are plenty of reasons to hate Take That - from the way you can't go more than three minutes on any commercial radio station without hearing that bloody Shine song to Gary Barlow's stupid face.

But the biggest reason of all is because Take That reformed, giving billions of other ancient teenypop bands the idea to reunite, often with eye-cripplingly shocking results. But not all ancient teenypop bands - for example, tinpot twin-based growl-heavy 1980s boyband Bros have clung onto their morals and refused to reunite.

What's that? Bros have decided to reunite as well? That's great - back in the day Bros had a large, highly dedicated fanbase, so we're sure that they'll go crazy for the reunion just as soon as someone shouts news about it into their ear-trumpet. We're implying that they're all old.

VIDEO: New Kids On The Block On Today, Together & Zimmer-Free
By Stuart Heritage on Friday, April 4, 2008 at 6:00pm | 30 Comments
VIDEO: New Kids On The Block On Today, Together & Zimmer-Free

You've been waiting for this day for years - well, probably more 'dreading' than 'waiting' but let's not split hairs - New Kids On The Block are officially back!

Not too long ago the reformed New Kids On The Block made their first public appearance on the Today show. And after the shock of realising that they all still have fully-working sets of eyes and limbs subsided, we heard New Kids On The Block tell the world that "Music brought us back."

We presume that'd be Music O'Kneesmash. the famed Boston debt collection agent, then. Anyway, video of the New Kids On The Block Today appearance after the jump. 

New Kids On The Block: The First Craggedy Old Reunion Photo
By Stuart Heritage on Wednesday, April 2, 2008 at 5:00pm | 31 Comments
New Kids On The Block: The First Craggedy Old Reunion Photo

Ask anyone which band they'd most like to see reunite and they'll probably say The Beatles - but if you drug their water or concuss them a bit there's a chance they'd say New Kids On The Block.

And if that's the case then their dreams have been answered, because New Kids On The Block are back!

After a few months of sly non-commitment, New Kids On The Block are expected to officially announce their reunion on Friday's Today show. And, as an appetite-whetter, New Kids On The Block have released the first group photo of the reunion. At least that's what we think it is - it could just be a page ripped out of Middle-Aged Weekend Father At A Court Appearance magazine that someone published as a belated April Fool joke. Who knows?

Van Halen Reunion Tour Inevitably Scrapped Again
By Stuart Heritage on Monday, March 3, 2008 at 7:00pm | 4 Comments
Van Halen Reunion Tour Inevitably Scrapped Again

Sometimes it can seem like the hardest thing in the world to get four old men to play bad-haired, leotard-wearing widdly-widdly-woo hard rock music together.

That's certainly the case with Van Halen. After more messily aborted reunions than you could ever wish for, Van Halen finally hit the road in September to play their bad-haired, leotard-wearing widdly-widdly-woo hard rock music to as many middle-aged bad-haired nostalgia freaks as the possibly could.

Except it couldn't last and, with crushing inevitability, the rest of the Van Halen reunion tour has been scrapped; either forever or until the band feels the need to demonstrate its innate lack of personal and organisation skills in public again.

Smelly-Looking Hippies Play For Barack Obama
By Stuart Heritage on Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 5:00pm | 9 Comments
Smelly-Looking Hippies Play For Barack Obama

Today is Super Tuesday, which we think is what Americans call Pancake Day.

Not really - every day is Pancake Day if you're American. In fact, Super Tuesday is when everyone decides which person they'd like to think about choosing as the candidate that might possibly end up being the President or something. And all of the candidates need all the help they can get.

Barack Obama knows this, which is why he got The Grateful Dead to reform in a show of support. So at least he's got the wizened old cheesy-toenailed hippy vote sewn up.

Spice Girls Put Themselves Out Of Their Misery
By Stuart Heritage on Monday, February 4, 2008 at 5:01pm | One Comment
Spice Girls Put Themselves Out Of Their Misery

First we'll hit you with the good news - the Spice Girls have cut their world tour short and split up.

And now for the bad news - the Spice Girls split means we're going to have to put up with five cack-handed Spice Girls solo careers again instead of one big group career that's easy to ignore.

Which we suppose means that we'll never hear from Geri Halliwell again. Maybe this is for the best after all.

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