Articles tagged with: Restraining order
Lindsay Lohan Would Quite Like Her Dad Restrained, Please
Here's some good news - New Lindsay Lohan has regressed. Long live Old Lindsay Lohan. Or New Old Lindsay Lohan. Or something. Anyway, Lindsay Lohan is brilliant again. Hooray! Just a few days after she was hauled to court, Lindsay Lohan has regressed again and apparently decided to take a restraining order out against her father in case he decides to kidnap her. It's just like the good old days! Although let's just pray that Lindsay Lohan doesn't keep regressing too much - if she regresses back to her childhood then she'll start making films that aren't terrible again, and where's the fun in that?
Here's some good news - New Lindsay Lohan has regressed. Long live Old Lindsay Lohan. Or New Old Lindsay Lohan. Or something. Anyway, Lindsay Lohan is brilliant again. Hooray! Just a few days after she was hauled to court, Lindsay Lohan has regressed again and apparently decided to take a restraining order out against her father in case he decides to kidnap her. It's just like the good old days! Although let's just pray that Lindsay Lohan doesn't keep regressing too much - if she regresses back to her childhood then she'll start making films that aren't terrible again, and where's the fun in that?
Kirsten Dunst Gets Restraining Order For Her Only Fan
Kirsten Dunst used to bump uglies with Johnny Borrell, so she knows a thing or two about unbearably dirty-looking nobsacks. And what's Unbearably Dirty-Looking Nobsack Lesson One? That you don't let them near you. That's why Kirsten Dunst has just got restraining order against Christopher Smith, a man who was allegedly caught trespassing on her property. Now everyone's happy. Kirsten Dunst no longer has to live in fear, and Christopher Smith can just start stalking things that remind him of Kirsten Dunst, like a drunk horse that's fallen face-first down a giant flight of concrete stairs or something.
Kirsten Dunst used to bump uglies with Johnny Borrell, so she knows a thing or two about unbearably dirty-looking nobsacks. And what's Unbearably Dirty-Looking Nobsack Lesson One? That you don't let them near you. That's why Kirsten Dunst has just got restraining order against Christopher Smith, a man who was allegedly caught trespassing on her property. Now everyone's happy. Kirsten Dunst no longer has to live in fear, and Christopher Smith can just start stalking things that remind him of Kirsten Dunst, like a drunk horse that's fallen face-first down a giant flight of concrete stairs or something.
Tom Cruise Wants That Gun-Flailing Army Man To Keep Away
Now he's been pegged as Hollywood's leading creepily insincere sci-fi nutjob, Tom Cruise needs all the fans he can get. Unless, you know, those fans keep turning up at his house without permission because they're fanatical veterans' rights activists with a history of psychiatric issues who keep shutting down freeways by allegedly waving flags and guns around. That's bad news for Edward Van Tassel - he's exactly that, and he's been given a restraining order forcing him to stay away from Tom Cruise. Phew, that was close - it's a good job these mentally ill gun-toting rogue soldiers respect court orders so diligently, eh?
Now he's been pegged as Hollywood's leading creepily insincere sci-fi nutjob, Tom Cruise needs all the fans he can get. Unless, you know, those fans keep turning up at his house without permission because they're fanatical veterans' rights activists with a history of psychiatric issues who keep shutting down freeways by allegedly waving flags and guns around. That's bad news for Edward Van Tassel - he's exactly that, and he's been given a restraining order forcing him to stay away from Tom Cruise. Phew, that was close - it's a good job these mentally ill gun-toting rogue soldiers respect court orders so diligently, eh?
Alyssa Milano Refuses To Be Stalked Anymore
Alyssa Milano is still quite famous. Don't argue the point - just trust us here. Not only did she star as Tony Danza's midget lover on the eighties sitcom Hey You Guys, Who Is The Boss Here?, but more recently she was also in some show where she played the ghost of Shannon Doherty or something. We thought we might have some of those details wrong, but on review everything actually looks pretty accurate. Possibly. But just because we don't remember the specifics doesn't mean nobody does - one fan, for instance, just walked miles and miles through some woods to try to force an in-house meeting with her.
Alyssa Milano is still quite famous. Don't argue the point - just trust us here. Not only did she star as Tony Danza's midget lover on the eighties sitcom Hey You Guys, Who Is The Boss Here?, but more recently she was also in some show where she played the ghost of Shannon Doherty or something. We thought we might have some of those details wrong, but on review everything actually looks pretty accurate. Possibly. But just because we don't remember the specifics doesn't mean nobody does - one fan, for instance, just walked miles and miles through some woods to try to force an in-house meeting with her.
Christie Brinkley & Peter Cook: No, They Still Haven’t Shut Up
Despite all the endless boneheaded kerfuffle over it, Peter Cook's big 20/20 interview about Christie Brinkley hasn't actually been broadcast yet. The interview is to be broadcast tonight - a fact which has got Christie Brinkley into a flap. Christie Brinkley has tried to take a restraining order out against Peter Cook because he's due to have their children this weekend, and she's worried that he'll spend that entire weekend showing them his interview. But a judge has rejected the restraining order, partly because Peter Cook plans to take the children on a trip this weekend. But what Christie Brinkley doesn't know is that the trip is to the television department of an electrical goods store, where the children will see their father explaining what a cold-hearted witch their mother is on 50 giant HDTV screens at once, and all in crystal-clear surround sound. Eat that, Uptown Girl!
Despite all the endless boneheaded kerfuffle over it, Peter Cook's big 20/20 interview about Christie Brinkley hasn't actually been broadcast yet. The interview is to be broadcast tonight - a fact which has got Christie Brinkley into a flap. Christie Brinkley has tried to take a restraining order out against Peter Cook because he's due to have their children this weekend, and she's worried that he'll spend that entire weekend showing them his interview. But a judge has rejected the restraining order, partly because Peter Cook plans to take the children on a trip this weekend. But what Christie Brinkley doesn't know is that the trip is to the television department of an electrical goods store, where the children will see their father explaining what a cold-hearted witch their mother is on 50 giant HDTV screens at once, and all in crystal-clear surround sound. Eat that, Uptown Girl!
Britney Spears Stops Restraining Osama (No, Not That One)
Do you remember a time when it was okay to be named 'Osama'? When you wouldn't get looked at funny, or referred to as 'that one that is probably a terrorist, just because he shares the name with a bad man'? We just ask as it's quite funny, seeing as Britney Spears' one-time sidekick is named Osama and all the popular press and the like refer to him as 'Sam'. If it weren't for some events in September of 2001 then maybe hecklerspray would accept that this were simply a nickname, or shortened version of his given name. As it is, however, Osama Lutfi is clearly referred to as Sam for fear of being likened to a terrorist. Silly as that may be, he doesn't exactly help his cause when he gets the master of mental - that's Britney, fact fans - to put out a restraining order on him. Which is exactly what happened. But fret not, as Britney no longer wishes for it to be law that he can't come near her! Thank the almighty for that.
Do you remember a time when it was okay to be named 'Osama'? When you wouldn't get looked at funny, or referred to as 'that one that is probably a terrorist, just because he shares the name with a bad man'? We just ask as it's quite funny, seeing as Britney Spears' one-time sidekick is named Osama and all the popular press and the like refer to him as 'Sam'. If it weren't for some events in September of 2001 then maybe hecklerspray would accept that this were simply a nickname, or shortened version of his given name. As it is, however, Osama Lutfi is clearly referred to as Sam for fear of being likened to a terrorist. Silly as that may be, he doesn't exactly help his cause when he gets the master of mental - that's Britney, fact fans - to put out a restraining order on him. Which is exactly what happened. But fret not, as Britney no longer wishes for it to be law that he can't come near her! Thank the almighty for that.
Sam Lutfi Still To Keep The Hell Away From Britney Spears
Although Britney Spears is still recovering from her traumatic meltdown, she'd probably like nothing more than a visit from her old pal Sam Lutfi. It's not going to happen any time soon, though, because the restraining order that Britney Spears' family took out against Sam Lutfi has been extended yet again - he's not allowed within 250 yards of Britney Spears until at least August. Obviously the courts have decided that the restraining order extension is in the best interests of Britney Spears' well-being, but it sure is a kick in teeth for those of us who wanted to see Britney Spears and Sam Lutfi star in a hilarious Odd Couple-style television sitcom any time soon. Curses.
Although Britney Spears is still recovering from her traumatic meltdown, she'd probably like nothing more than a visit from her old pal Sam Lutfi. It's not going to happen any time soon, though, because the restraining order that Britney Spears' family took out against Sam Lutfi has been extended yet again - he's not allowed within 250 yards of Britney Spears until at least August. Obviously the courts have decided that the restraining order extension is in the best interests of Britney Spears' well-being, but it sure is a kick in teeth for those of us who wanted to see Britney Spears and Sam Lutfi star in a hilarious Odd Couple-style television sitcom any time soon. Curses.
Britney Spears Stays Lutfi-Free For 30 More Wonderful Days
Sam Lutfi has always been there for Britney Spears, although obviously by 'there' we mean 'willing to secretly mash anti-psychotic drugs into her food'.
But the tide has turned now, and Sam Lutfi is no longer needed in Britney Spears' orbit. And obviously by 'no longer needed' we mean 'legally required to stay at least 250 metres out of it for the next month'.
Yes, Britney Spears' friend and former sort-of manager Sam Lutfi has agreed to a new 30-day restraining order in order to hold off a permanent one. It'll be hard for Lutfi to cope without seeing Britney Spears for another month, but that's mainly because it's only the dangerously mentally ill who can hold conversations with him without being distracted by his horrible half-beard that looks like a big hairy dribble.
