Articles tagged with: released
Nick Hogan Out Of Jail, Back In The Arms Of His Mannish Family
Good news, fans of exploitative reality TV shows starring box-faced young criminal goons - Nick Hogan has been released from jail! 166 days after he went to prison for crashing his car spectacularly enough to require his friend John Graziano to receive constant medical attention, Hulk Hogan's son Nick Hogan has been released from jail. And, with soul-destroying inevitability, Nick Hogan is now thought to want a reality TV show about his life on the outside. It'd be a good show, though, because Nick Hogan is bound to have been though new experiences during his jail sentence and sharing those experiences will be Nick Hogan's way of giving something back. The only question is the name of the show - there's already been a Hogan Knows Best and a Brooke Knows Best so... wait! We've got it! How about Nick Hogan Remembers Getting Anally Brutalised By An Arsonist? You know, provided that happened.
Good news, fans of exploitative reality TV shows starring box-faced young criminal goons - Nick Hogan has been released from jail! 166 days after he went to prison for crashing his car spectacularly enough to require his friend John Graziano to receive constant medical attention, Hulk Hogan's son Nick Hogan has been released from jail. And, with soul-destroying inevitability, Nick Hogan is now thought to want a reality TV show about his life on the outside. It'd be a good show, though, because Nick Hogan is bound to have been though new experiences during his jail sentence and sharing those experiences will be Nick Hogan's way of giving something back. The only question is the name of the show - there's already been a Hogan Knows Best and a Brooke Knows Best so... wait! We've got it! How about Nick Hogan Remembers Getting Anally Brutalised By An Arsonist? You know, provided that happened.
Gary Glitter Kicked Out of Everywhere: Forced to Come Back to the Open, Welcoming Arms of Britain
When will Gary Glitter realise that his punishment isn't over? Yes, he served three years in a Vietnamese prison for molesting young girls, but when he eventually gets back to Britain - where seemingly everyone in South East Asia is trying to make him go - he's not going to be able to sit back, relax and record his new album as he said he wants to. Though we are convinced that being a convicted kiddy fiddler wouldn't stand in the way of chart success. But Gary Glitter is making it all rather hard on himself, by refusing to travel back to the UK to face his further punishments. Instead he's running about like a paedo-Benny Hill from airport to airport around the Asian region he was kicked out of, being turned away from one country then the next as everywhere locks arms with the sole purpose of keeping him out. Now we're all for human rights, we can be surprisingly liberal and we believe in equality for all - but we can't help but find all this delightfully funny. No one likes you Glitter, and no one wants you.
When will Gary Glitter realise that his punishment isn't over? Yes, he served three years in a Vietnamese prison for molesting young girls, but when he eventually gets back to Britain - where seemingly everyone in South East Asia is trying to make him go - he's not going to be able to sit back, relax and record his new album as he said he wants to. Though we are convinced that being a convicted kiddy fiddler wouldn't stand in the way of chart success. But Gary Glitter is making it all rather hard on himself, by refusing to travel back to the UK to face his further punishments. Instead he's running about like a paedo-Benny Hill from airport to airport around the Asian region he was kicked out of, being turned away from one country then the next as everywhere locks arms with the sole purpose of keeping him out. Now we're all for human rights, we can be surprisingly liberal and we believe in equality for all - but we can't help but find all this delightfully funny. No one likes you Glitter, and no one wants you.
Christian Bale Becomes New Superhero: Bailman
Method acting must be great - it provides a surefire way of behaving like something of an idiot in polite society. That is, unless you decide to go home and assault your mum and sister, as it was alleged Christian Bale had gone and done yesterday. That takes things a bit far, away from the Pacino not talking to people unless they address his character 'slight mentalness' and well into the zone of 'whoops he may well just be a bit odd in the head'. But rejoice! For the Baler has bailed out of the cop shop pending further questioning! Though that does mean he may go and strike again, if he did do anything in the first place. God knows the tabloids warn us of these repeat offenders in Gordon Brown's Britain.
Method acting must be great - it provides a surefire way of behaving like something of an idiot in polite society. That is, unless you decide to go home and assault your mum and sister, as it was alleged Christian Bale had gone and done yesterday. That takes things a bit far, away from the Pacino not talking to people unless they address his character 'slight mentalness' and well into the zone of 'whoops he may well just be a bit odd in the head'. But rejoice! For the Baler has bailed out of the cop shop pending further questioning! Though that does mean he may go and strike again, if he did do anything in the first place. God knows the tabloids warn us of these repeat offenders in Gordon Brown's Britain.
Amy Winehouse Not Charged For Her Big Crack Video
Amy Winehouse is like a bad news magnet at the moment - apparently it's a magnet that also seems to repel soap. However, Amy Winehouse has received a rare nugget of good news today - police have confirmed that Amy won't be charged for that video of her apparently smoking crack like it's going out of fashion. What fantastic news! Now that this crack video palaver is out of her hair, all Amy Winehouse has to do is sort out her crumbling marriage, her multimillion-pound divorce, her drug addiction, her self-harming tendencies, her skin disease and literally single other thing regarding her personal and professional life and she'll be almost completely back on track. Go Amy!
Amy Winehouse is like a bad news magnet at the moment - apparently it's a magnet that also seems to repel soap. However, Amy Winehouse has received a rare nugget of good news today - police have confirmed that Amy won't be charged for that video of her apparently smoking crack like it's going out of fashion. What fantastic news! Now that this crack video palaver is out of her hair, all Amy Winehouse has to do is sort out her crumbling marriage, her multimillion-pound divorce, her drug addiction, her self-harming tendencies, her skin disease and literally single other thing regarding her personal and professional life and she'll be almost completely back on track. Go Amy!
Pete Doherty Released From Jail 70 Days Early
Pete Doherty's prison adventure has been cut dramatically short - not by a horrific stabbing injury as some had hoped, but by early release. Released less than a month into his 14-week jail sentence, Pete Doherty is now a free man once again, much like Ronnie Barker from Going Straight except a bit less funny and/or dead. Still, even 29 days in jail is long enough for someone to become institutionalised, which means in the next few days you might see pictures of Pete Doherty stumbling around looking a bit confused and unwashed. Don't worry if you do - it means he's completely back to normal. Thanks folks, we're here all week.
Pete Doherty's prison adventure has been cut dramatically short - not by a horrific stabbing injury as some had hoped, but by early release. Released less than a month into his 14-week jail sentence, Pete Doherty is now a free man once again, much like Ronnie Barker from Going Straight except a bit less funny and/or dead. Still, even 29 days in jail is long enough for someone to become institutionalised, which means in the next few days you might see pictures of Pete Doherty stumbling around looking a bit confused and unwashed. Don't worry if you do - it means he's completely back to normal. Thanks folks, we're here all week.
Amy Winehouse Wants Husband To Stay In Jail (And A Divorce)
Amy Winehouse is officially the week's most talked about celebrity. A fairly remarkable feat when you take into consideration that she hasn’t died, escaped death, or so much as flashed a tit to a camera. Why are we interested in this girl? It surely hasn’t got anything to do with talent, has it? At the beginning of the week, there was news of her being nominated for three Ivor Novello awards. A couple of days later she was named as the youth of the UK’s ‘Ultimate Heroine’, which coincided with rumours of her assaulting two members of the general public, for which she was arrested for last night and cautioned for today, as well as coming tenth in the Sunday Times Young Music Millionaires list. And now, according to The Sun, she doesn’t want her husband to be released from jail, she does want a divorce, and she’s falling in love with her manager’s assistant. No wonder she’s allegedly on crack.
Amy Winehouse is officially the week's most talked about celebrity. A fairly remarkable feat when you take into consideration that she hasn’t died, escaped death, or so much as flashed a tit to a camera. Why are we interested in this girl? It surely hasn’t got anything to do with talent, has it? At the beginning of the week, there was news of her being nominated for three Ivor Novello awards. A couple of days later she was named as the youth of the UK’s ‘Ultimate Heroine’, which coincided with rumours of her assaulting two members of the general public, for which she was arrested for last night and cautioned for today, as well as coming tenth in the Sunday Times Young Music Millionaires list. And now, according to The Sun, she doesn’t want her husband to be released from jail, she does want a divorce, and she’s falling in love with her manager’s assistant. No wonder she’s allegedly on crack.
Tyra Banks’ Halfhearted Alleged Stalker Back On The Streets
A man purported to be Tyra Banks' stalker has been freed by police a day after getting arrested - but don't worry, because he sounds a bit crap.
Brady Green is accused of constantly leaving phone messages for Tyra Banks, sending her flowers and letters and turning up at her TV studio unannounced. Which, you know, is hardly sending her dildos or drawing threatening cartoons of her.
Worryingly, though, Brady Green is back on the streets after police charged and released him. Obviously the sensible thing would have been to lock him away in a nuthouse because, seriously, we didn't think anyone liked Tyra Banks at all, let alone enough to actually follow her around and stuff.
The Game Gets Out Of Jail 52 Days Early
Talk about a breakdown of civil rights - not so long ago The Game was sentenced to 60 days in jail for threatening to kill a man with his gun.
That's not where the loss of civil rights comes in though. No, that comes with the news that The Game has been released from jail after serving just eight days of his 60-day sentence.
Eight days? That means The Game had to spend about one eighth of his jail sentence actually in jail. Don't these people know who The Game is? As a celebrity, his time locked up should have been strictly capped at a twelfth of the sentence, tops. Expect a really bloody angry enquiry any day now.
