By that right, the O’Neal family don’t stand a chance. On Wednesday Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond were both arrested for the possession of methamphetamine during a routine probation sweep of their house, and it’s taken Tatum O’Neal to bring some perspective to the matter.

Yes, Tatum O’Neal – the woman who’s kissed Michael Jackson with tongues, claims to have had an orgy with Melanie Griffith, lost custody of her kids because she was wasted on heroin all the time and was recently arrested for trying to buy crack in New York – has put the Ryan O’Neal drug arrest into perspective. In summary, that perspective is as follows: Yeesh.

On the basis that wisdom comes from experience, Tatum O’Neal must be one of the most insightful people on Earth. She won an Oscar when she was 11, had a drug-addict mother and an angry father who she apparently once caught with his bits stuck up Melanie Griffith. She claims to have been sexually abused as a child, had a volatile marriage to John McEnroe and was Michael Jackson’s first love. Tatum O’Neal isn’t just a woman – she’s the walking physical representation of The Jeremy Kyle Show.

So who’d be better placed to reflect upon this week’s drug arrest of Ryan O’Neal and his son than Ryan’s own daughter Tatum?

Now we know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that someone who wasn’t recently arrested for buying a big bag of crack would probably be better placed to discuss Ryan O’Neal’s arrest. But you’re wrong. It means that Tatum O’Neal doesn’t just share some genes with Ryan O’Neal, or a deep lingering bitterness about never managing to fulfill her professional potential, or questionable parenting skills, but also what might just be a fondness for illegal substances.

Honestly, Tatum O’Neal and Ryan O’Neal are so similar that talking to Tatum is just like talking to Ryan but without the constant feeling that you’re going to get a gun fired in your direction.

So, with that in mind, what’s Tatum O’Neal’s take on her dad and brother getting arrested on drug charges? People reports:

“I’m really worried about Redmond. I want them both to get better and get the help they need. [Addiction] runs in families. It’s a disease. I’m praying for both of them. I’m praying for my whole family. I hope Red will get treatment. That’s what he needs. There is hope for Redmond. He deserves to have the life a [young man] – going to school, hanging out with friends, getting a job. I wish the best for him.”

Actually, Tatum O’Neal is spot-on here. The last thing anyone needs is to see Redmond O’Neal destroy himself with drugs. Otherwise what are they going to do if Hollywood suddenly decides to make a sequel to The Brave Little Toaster Goes To Mars? Recast the role of Squirt, the eighth male lead? Please.

Anyway, we always try to look on the positive, and that’s no different now. Maybe Tatum O’Neal taking the time to speak out about Ryan and Redmond O’Neal will mend the fractured relationships between father, son and daughter and they can all start afresh.

It’ll be hard, but if they all work really hard and try to talk they can get there. And if they can’t, we hear methamphetamine is really good for increased talkativeness and stuff. Maybe they should give that a go.

Because, without question, a TV show about the family life of Ryan O’Neal would hands-down be the best piece of television ever made. Especially if it explained why Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond were yesterday both arrested on the felony charge of methamphetamine possession.

Wow. So Oscar-nominated actor Ryan O’Neal (father of Tatum O’Neal, the actress who was recently arrested for buying crack) and his son Redmond (who last year tied his half-brother to a staircase like a dog and hit his girlfriend in the head with a fireplace poker until Ryan O’Neal actually had to fire a gun at him to make him stop) might be on drugs. Who knew?

You know what? We’d give anything to be an O’Neal. Seriously, anything. When we were kids, our Dad would just take us out for fishing trips or bike rides or something equally dull. But not Ryan O’Neal. Ryan O’Neal’s a real dad, and here’s why:

*Ryan O’Neal taught his kids that the only way to deal with the grief of losing a pet is to go and buy crack and then pretend you didn’t know it was crack when you’re arrested for it.

*Ryan O’Neal knows that sometimes the only way you can stop your son from waving a fireplace poker around so haphazardly that he injures his own girlfriend’s head because you overreacted to the sight of him tethering your other son to a bannister like a dog to stop him buying drugs is to fire a gun at him.

*Ryan O’Neal knows that the family that gets shitfaced on methamphetamine together stays together. Allegedly.

How much of that did you do with us, Dad? None of it. Thanks Dad. Thanks a lot.

Anyway, Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond O’Neal have both been arrested on the felony charge of narcotics possession. The New York Daily News reports:

Deputies found what is believed to be methamphetamine on them during a probation sweep of their Malibu home. Father and son were later released on $10,000 bail each. “Authorities found Redmond in possession of narcotics and later discovered the father, Ryan O’Neal, was also in possession of narcotics,” spokesman Steve Whitmore told the Daily News

Of course, the lion’s share of the blame for the arrest has to go to Redmond O’Neal. If he hadn’t got arrested earlier this year for going on a pre-dawn joyride through the streets of Malibu with all sorts of heroin and crystal meth in his possession then the probation squad would have never come a-knocking, leaving Ryan and Redmond to get as allegedly munted on methamphetamine as they like in the privacy of their own home.

Still, it doesn’t matter whose fault the arrest was, or even if Ryan O’Neal and Redmond O’Neal are guilty or innocent. What matters is that the justice system doesn’t punish either of them for this. Seriously. Imagine if this arrest shocked the O’Neals into cleaning up their act and behaving like responsible members of the public for once. This website would go under in seconds. Seconds. We beg of you, don’t let that happen.