Music lovers the world over were last Friday celebrating the news that Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson had decided not to release his forthcoming new album “Black Magic” due to an unspecified spat with his record company Interscope.
In a cruel reversal of fortune for anyone with ears and a brain, Jackson (we’re not going to dignify the whole “50 Cent” thing, much less “Fiddy”) has now announced that he has “begun to resolve” the problems so it looks like the globe will yet again be gifted with another turgid 45 minutes of monosyllabic mumbling and barely-concealed misogynism.
The big mystery is what sparked the whole thing off in the first place. We investigate…
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As a female rapper, it’s Lil’ Kim’s civic duty to get in as much trouble as humanly possibly, but we don’t get the feeling she’s hungry for it any more.
Back in the old days Lil’ Kim could usually be relied on to cause a ruckus by lying about shootings and getting sent to jail for it or whatnot but, now that she’s a little bit older, Lil’ Kim seems to have taken her eye off the balls. Sure, Lil’ Kim still gets in trouble, but only for not delivering albums she’s been paid to make.
As such, Lil’ Kim is being sued by her record label. Although a little lawsuit might not seem like much, it’s actually an indication of something far far worse than any of us could have ever imagined – there are a handful of people on earth who actually want to hear a new Lil’ Kim album. We’re scared. Hold us.
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