Here we are, the last of our Strictly Come Dancing recaps for the week. Exciting, huh?
Not as exciting as this Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing, because this week each of the celebrities will be doing a different dance. Lisa Snowdon‘s going to do a Tango, Christine Bleakley‘s going to do an American Smooth and rumour has it that Andrew Castle‘s going to do an epileptic fit. Seriously, watch it on Saturday and you’ll see.
But now, here are the Strictly Come Dancing recaps for John Sergeant, Rachel Stevens and Jodie Kidd…
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Just one more day to go until the episode of Strictly Come Dancing. Thank God, because we’re getting addicted to it.
Seriously, we’re Strictly Come Dancing junkies. Actual junkies. Like heroin junkies. When we don’t get any Strictly Come Dancing for a while we go all shivery and bald and Scottish. And we’ve damaged our bodies so much with our Strictly Come Dancing addiction that the only non-collapsed vein we have left to inject Strictly Come Dancing into is in our genitals. It’s not nice.
Anyway, here’s the Strictly Come Dancing recap for Cherie Lunghi‘s dance last Saturday…
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These midweek lulls between Strictly Come Dancing worry us – but not because we like Strictly Come Dancing or anything.
No, instead the only contact we have with Strictly Come Dancing at this point is with Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two, and that’s what worries us. This isn’t just the start of Strictly Come Dancing‘s annual season, you know – it’s the start of hecklerspray’s annual inexplicable and totally regrettable ‘thing for Claudia Winkleman’ season, too. Pray for us, readers.
Anyway, back to the recap of Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing. Today we’re looking at Gary Rhodes…
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These midweek lulls between Strictly Come Dancing worry us - but not because we like Strictly Come Dancing or anything.
No, instead the only contact we have with Strictly Come Dancing at this point is with Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two, and that's what worries us. This isn't just the start of Strictly Come Dancing's annual season, you know - it's the start of hecklerspray's annual inexplicable and totally regrettable 'thing for Claudia Winkleman' season, too. Pray for us, readers.
Anyway, back to the recap of Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing. Today we're looking at Gary Rhodes...
[More...] Gary Rhodes - In a world stuffed with knobhead chefs, Gary Rhodes stands head and shoulders above everyone else. Swaggering, constantly unhappy and even more pointlessly obsessed with his own moobs than Gordon Ramsay, Gary Rhodes was either going to ace Strictly Come Dancing or destroy his reputation on it. And, guess what, it's the latter. So preoccupied with perfection that he pretty much spent his entire five-week preseason training making sure he got the first step dead-on, Gary's Ch Cha Cha to Hippy Hippy Shake ended up being indescribably bad. He was out of time with everything, his partner seemed to have an epileptic fit fairly early on and there was a bewildering part in the middle where she bent over and he sort of bongoed up and down on her back for no logical reason. Usually Strictly Come Dancing has one dancer who's awful but stays in because they're funny. Gary Rhodes isn't even likeable enough for that to happen, we fear. Well, we don't fear. He's shit. Strictly Come Dancing score - 17
Tomorrow - the Strictly Come Dancing recap for lovely old John Sergeant.
Chances are you’re not as excited as we are about the return of Strictly Come Dancing. How excited are we? Quite excited. Beat that, losers.
What are we excited about? To see if Don Warrington can improve his form following his near dismissal from Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday? No. We want to see if Lisa Snowdon actually loves herself as she was making out on this week’s show. Dear God, we hope she doesn’t. That’d be obscene.
Anyway, we should really crack on with our Strictly Come Dancing recap of Saturday’s show. So here it is, and today we’re looking at Austin Healy and Mark Foster…
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