Heroes and villains.

Folded:

• Reaper (fresh and sporadically funny – gets better each week)

• Peyote (see The Sopranos for correct usage in season six. Seems like a ‘larf’ – or illegal unless you’re Native American, we don’t know)

• Envy and Other Sins (they won T4’s MobileAct Unsigned and their debut single, Highness, is quite promising. Could something good finally have come out of reality TV?)

• MySpace.com (looks much better since the revamp. Plus it’s not Facebook and that helps a lot)

• Henry (the next best thing to having children)

Creased:

• Cloverfield (what’s that big blob on the screen? It’s vomit)

• Iron Man (apart from the presence of Robert Downey Jr, this looks like toilet fodder. It’s out on 2nd May so we’ll know soon enough)

• Chris Hollins (we want to punch this guy so bad. It’s not his fault; it’s just his face and voice)

• What happens when you cross Eva Longoria with Jessica Simpson? (this)

• That happy-clappy mobile phone advert where white guys sport afros and throw coloured ribbon everywhere (woo, look at us, we’re doing experimental theatre. Woo, look at us, we’re on an overpriced mobile phone contact)