Articles tagged with: Reality TV
Peter Andre Blubs All Over The Gogglebox
Never let it be said we are anything but balanced, fair and righteous here at hecklerspray - we will always cover things from every angle available to us. Which is why we're now going to talk about the latest TV appearance by Peter Andre, where he gets all boo-hooey and says he's all about his kids and stuff, and then completely fails to see the connection between apologising for his life in the spotlight then announcing he has a new reality show currently filming. What a tool. See? We're not just mean to Katie Price. Though she is a giganto-titted monstrosity of Lovecraftian proportions.
Never let it be said we are anything but balanced, fair and righteous here at hecklerspray - we will always cover things from every angle available to us. Which is why we're now going to talk about the latest TV appearance by Peter Andre, where he gets all boo-hooey and says he's all about his kids and stuff, and then completely fails to see the connection between apologising for his life in the spotlight then announcing he has a new reality show currently filming. What a tool. See? We're not just mean to Katie Price. Though she is a giganto-titted monstrosity of Lovecraftian proportions.
Kerry Katona: Officially Poorer Than You!
Big questions have been asked by us humans - over thousands of years, we’ve all wondered “where do we come from?†“what is the meaning of life?†and “where is the bloody remote control?†Another mind bending puzzle is the one set by Iceland – not the country, but the supermarket. They ask us “why do mums go to Iceland?†Let us tell you now Mr Iceland: it’s not to see your bloody spokesperson Kerry Katona. Famous for winning a show made up of people who aren’t that famous, Kerry has clung on to that little bit of former glory and pumped out every bit of success juice. From said supermarket deals to shambolic TV shows, she’s still snapping at the heels of publicity. Always known for bad news and never anything positive, she’s back again to inform us that she has crashed and burned. Kerry has no money left to spend on curries, drugs or prawn rings after being declared bankrupt.
Big questions have been asked by us humans - over thousands of years, we’ve all wondered “where do we come from?†“what is the meaning of life?†and “where is the bloody remote control?†Another mind bending puzzle is the one set by Iceland – not the country, but the supermarket. They ask us “why do mums go to Iceland?†Let us tell you now Mr Iceland: it’s not to see your bloody spokesperson Kerry Katona. Famous for winning a show made up of people who aren’t that famous, Kerry has clung on to that little bit of former glory and pumped out every bit of success juice. From said supermarket deals to shambolic TV shows, she’s still snapping at the heels of publicity. Always known for bad news and never anything positive, she’s back again to inform us that she has crashed and burned. Kerry has no money left to spend on curries, drugs or prawn rings after being declared bankrupt.
Hecklerspray Oddities: ‘I’m Not Here To Make Friends’
Reality TV is brilliant. Seriously. Why, hecklerspray simply can't wait for the Autumn season and the superb roster of new shows it'll bring - from Celebrity Piss Drinking to Maggot Farm Teen Romance to Look At Me, Look At Me, I Lack Any Real Basic Talent Or Charm But Look At Me Anyway. Of course, there are ...
Tori Spelling Copies Alba, Has Child
It's not uncommon to see a celebrity that has suffered a downturn in their career take 'inspiration' from another, more popular personality to get their life back on track. But this has to be the worst case of copycat behaviour we've ever seen. Tori Spelling, of Beverly Hills 90210 and... errm... some shit reality TV show fame, has gone and got herself one of those baby things in what experts are calling 'clearly a rip off of Jessica Alba'. The brazen attempt to hoard some publicity is sure to backfire as members of the public lash out at Tori and her derivative behaviour.
It's not uncommon to see a celebrity that has suffered a downturn in their career take 'inspiration' from another, more popular personality to get their life back on track. But this has to be the worst case of copycat behaviour we've ever seen. Tori Spelling, of Beverly Hills 90210 and... errm... some shit reality TV show fame, has gone and got herself one of those baby things in what experts are calling 'clearly a rip off of Jessica Alba'. The brazen attempt to hoard some publicity is sure to backfire as members of the public lash out at Tori and her derivative behaviour.
Ali Lohan In Bullied For Being Lindsay Lohan’s Sister Shock
Ali Lohan has it harder than any of us know - she's suffered so much just for being Lindsay Lohan's sister. Being famous by association has ruined Ali Lohan's school life - she's been home-schooled ever since she was bullied by classmates because of who she was. And, for someone as naturally shy and limelight-intolerant as Ali Lohan, that bullying must have really hurt. How do we know this? Because Ali Lohan's been blabbering on about it to help promote her forthcoming reality TV show that's all about Ali Lohan and her aggressively relentless pursuit of fame. Crikey, this Lohan stupidity gene really is stronger than any of us could have possibly imagined, isn't it.
Ali Lohan has it harder than any of us know - she's suffered so much just for being Lindsay Lohan's sister. Being famous by association has ruined Ali Lohan's school life - she's been home-schooled ever since she was bullied by classmates because of who she was. And, for someone as naturally shy and limelight-intolerant as Ali Lohan, that bullying must have really hurt. How do we know this? Because Ali Lohan's been blabbering on about it to help promote her forthcoming reality TV show that's all about Ali Lohan and her aggressively relentless pursuit of fame. Crikey, this Lohan stupidity gene really is stronger than any of us could have possibly imagined, isn't it.
From Pauper To Princess To Third Degree Felony Kidnapping Charges In Weird Reality Show
Well that's it - we had to fire Miguel. We made sure to point at him and say his name at every single work Christmas party we've had, and fifteen years in he decides he knows better than us. "Please Sirs," he says, "please sirs, might you stop paying me in potatoes?" Miguel - you ridiculous fool! We've been doing what's best for you and your family of eight! Your children can't eat cash! We did so much for him. Maybe we should have done more. Maybe we should have let him live in his janatorial closet. Move the mop and there's be plenty of room for him and two of his kids to lean and sleep. Rotate in shifts and the whole family's covered. He's just lucky we're not like Marc Brilleman. He's a would-be reality TV exec who recently got charged with the kidnapping and false imprisonment of several of his female contestants. Which makes us think... Miguel, you can have your wife back. Pick her up in back of our mansion. We suppose you won't even appreciate that her hands smell of potato.
Well that's it - we had to fire Miguel. We made sure to point at him and say his name at every single work Christmas party we've had, and fifteen years in he decides he knows better than us. "Please Sirs," he says, "please sirs, might you stop paying me in potatoes?" Miguel - you ridiculous fool! We've been doing what's best for you and your family of eight! Your children can't eat cash! We did so much for him. Maybe we should have done more. Maybe we should have let him live in his janatorial closet. Move the mop and there's be plenty of room for him and two of his kids to lean and sleep. Rotate in shifts and the whole family's covered. He's just lucky we're not like Marc Brilleman. He's a would-be reality TV exec who recently got charged with the kidnapping and false imprisonment of several of his female contestants. Which makes us think... Miguel, you can have your wife back. Pick her up in back of our mansion. We suppose you won't even appreciate that her hands smell of potato.
Donald Trump Sees Cash-Money In Spitzer’s Young Hooker
And in a case like this our sweet caring planet isn’t quick to forget. No, in the 35 or so years since the film came out, body-whores have been treated like wined and dined, absolute upper-crust royalty. That’s why they don’t pay taxes. The body-whore is far too sensitive a creature to have to pay taxes. Also there are several government programs designed to give them leopard-spotted spandex pants for free. This is an essential tool to their trade.
The globally accepted widespread affinity to the oldest profession has sparked many acts of good nature. Why, even recently an outreached hand has been extended to a wonderful, wonderful twenty-something night-lady. Donald Trump has recently offered Spitzer's harlot a gig on his new reality show.
We heard it’s mostly like the Apprentice but with slightly more AIDS tests and the winner gets a cathouse. If it's produced well enough, it could very well lead to another 1932 Nuremberg Pulitzer.
The movie Pretty Woman, which we think won a Pulitzer Prize at the 1932 Nuremberg Olympics, was written so well it made the whole world stop and take notice that filthy hookers can have feelings too.
And in a case like this our sweet caring planet isn’t quick to forget. No, in the 35 or so years since the film came out, body-whores have been treated like wined and dined, absolute upper-crust royalty. That’s why they don’t pay taxes. The body-whore is far too sensitive a creature to have to pay taxes. Also there are several government programs designed to give them leopard-spotted spandex pants for free. This is an essential tool to their trade.
The globally accepted widespread affinity to the oldest profession has sparked many acts of good nature. Why, even recently an outreached hand has been extended to a wonderful, wonderful twenty-something night-lady. Donald Trump has recently offered Spitzer's harlot a gig on his new reality show.
We heard it’s mostly like the Apprentice but with slightly more AIDS tests and the winner gets a cathouse. If it's produced well enough, it could very well lead to another 1932 Nuremberg Pulitzer.
Fergie To Condescend The Poor In New Reality Show
Like many people, when we have genuinely serious problems our first thought is "Why isn't there a tubby out-of-touch ginger posho millionaire around to shriek patronising advice at us?"
Luckily, one poverty-stricken family in Hull will be getting that exact treatment. Minor royal and all-around annoyance Fergie is going to live with them to help shine a light on what life's like for the cruel minority who, for whatever reason, don't live in massive New York penthouse apartments.
Fergie's doing this for a new ITV reality show, of course, called The Duchess In Hull. It'll be broadcast in the summer, backed by an ITV2 spin-off show called Someone Get Me The Bleach, One Of Them Just Touched Me And I Don't Want To Catch AIDS.
