Fox Makes A Fat Bachelor Generally speaking there are only a few places we really don't want to ever see overweight people: Going anywhere wearing our pants, suspended above us descending in a parachute, or full-frenzied inside a sneeze guard with their sneakered feet perched in the sliced tomatoes. Anywhere else, though, and we'll take them. That's because we love the heavy, and always want to know everything about them. For instance, do they fall in love? Probably not. But if they do we'll all get to see on Fox's new show - billed as The Bachelor for fat guys, which we actually find quite rude.

Sharon Osbourne Investigated For Reality Show ‘Thump Attack’ Just because Sharon Osbourne's face looks more and more like a novelty eraser shaped like a pineapple, you shouldn't mess with her. No, really, you shouldn't mess with Sharon Osbourne. And you shouldn't not mess with Sharon Osbourne, either. Because if you mess with Sharon Osbourne - or don't mess with Sharon Osbourne - then you'll end up getting attacked by her. Or not getting attacked by her. Vague enough? Good. Because Sharon Osbourne is being investigated by police after allegedly attacking a reality TV show contestant who may or may not called Ozzy Osbourne 'braindead'. We hope that clears things up.

Calum Best Given TV Show To Stop Him Fondling Himself

Remember when MTV used to be remotely hip, cutting edge and worth watching?

The very same days when it used to play the occasional music video as well. Times have now changed and seemingly anyone that’s been in the papers is getting their own show on the once-credible network.

In the past, viewers have had to endure washed up pop star Lisa Scott Lee and her crap attempt at trying to get a song into the charts. Even the human car crash that is Kerry Katona has given us a warts-and-all show, literally, to give an insight into the life of a fame-hungry, media-seeking bint, who also happens to be another failed musician. If you can call her that. And lest we forget Tila Tequila, social crusader.

He may not be a singer of any kind, but Calum Best has pointlessly been baptised into the celebrity world. His dad was a footballer, you know. And a chap with a passion for alcohol, so much so it broke his liver. So, simply because he came from Best Snr's semen, young Calum automatically becomes famous... ?

Paris Hilton’s MTV Reality Show To Be Axed? Paris Hilton’s new MTV reality show 'Paris Hilton’s My New BFF' (best friend forever) is in danger of being axed as casting directors are becoming aware that nobody really gives a shit. This is no doubt something to do with hecklerspray’s article last week, which confirmed to the masses that anyone who wants to compete to become Paris Hilton’s new BFF is a gargantuan retard. According to Trans World News, an insider said: "There were less than 40 people there." This isn’t much, but is still enough to fill a modest size room and create a scene not too dissimilar from the one’s found in videos of Hitler’s inbreeding experiments, which – it should be remembered – also failed spectacularly. But who knows, maybe MTV is better organized these days than the Nazis were? They’ve certainly got more power.