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JLS fans haven’t been very kind to us of late. Apparently they don’t like the fact that we inferred that their favourite band mimed some bad words and threw one of those showbiz hissy fit things at T4 On The Beach, which they TOTALLY did.
Naturally being the reasonable and thoughtful people we are, we thought we’d take another shot at them.
This time over the fact they’ve admitted they can’t sing. Read More >>>
Is everyone in Dallas a massive racist? They like the confederate flag over there, so they must be! Did they have lynchings as well? We’ve no idea. We don’t really like America. It’s a silly country with large portions and impossible dental work.
We’re talking about the foibles of Dallas because we’re trying to work out why Rihanna would want to kill everyone there.
See, while she was playing a show in Texas, she set the stage on fire, leaving stupid hacks to ponder if Rihanna’s appearance and performance was so ‘hot’, that it actually combusted. However, it is clear that this was attempted mass-murder and it is only a matter of time before America’s famous police force, with their non-bias toward any race, get involved.
It’s been a weekend full of festivals with nearly every performer you can think of out to plug any old tat they’ve got coming out soon. Up in Scotland, a mix of indie, rock and electronica could be found, although annoyances like Bruno Mars still managed to evade security and get on stage at T in the Park, while at Sonisphere, they had angry music fans happy with bands that haven’t progressed from early eighties hair metal.
But the pick of the bunch was down at the sick seagull of Britain – Weston-super-Mare – where the family friendly festival T4 On The Beach was happening! While it was broadcast on Channel 4 and hosted by a gang of hipsters who all deserve to be shot, it was the sort of day where parents of small children could drop them off, safe in the knowledge they wouldn’t be snorting lines of speed. Last year, one of music’s answers to satire, Jedward, broke an ankle.
This year, JLS threw a slight hissy fit and pulled out of the event. It’s almost like the end of the world has just happened. So what pissed off JLS then?
JLS have shown that you don’t have to be winners in order to achieve your dream of singing second rate R&B songs whilst posing with overpriced cars and women who are out of their league.
JLS are, in fairness to them, weirdly popular despite having one of the worst band names in history – they would have been more credible to us if they were called something like London Ghetto Bad Boyz. Bands that don’t use proper words are usually rubbish, just look at U2.
Hailing from the world of X-Factor, JLS have an easy market to manipulate when it comes to releasing merchandise. They release more than just music with all sorts of tat having their name attached to it. From bear traps to lunchboxes, it’ll be somewhere on the internet to buy. Hot on the heels of midget singer Justin Bieber, the JLS boys are set to bring out their own film which is set to feature run of the mill boring material that wouldn’t offend the most PC of people.
Here at hecklerspray, nothing makes us happier than when celebs go fucking mental on Twitter. Yes, whether they’re assassinating each other using 140 character covered light-sabers, verbally battering mere mortals or just secretly swapping ‘cock shots’ with embarrassingly unattractive, money hungry strangers, we love nothing more than some good old unabashed Twitter beefing.
Recently masturbaters favourite Rihanna and slightly less bouncy but you probably still would, R&B singer Ciara, got involved in a some Twitter rage over Ri Ri’s brutal disrespecting of Ciara at some awards show party.
And you thought this Libyan revolt was important news?
Rihanna, quite possibly, is the world’s coolest pop-star. She’s made a whole bunch of great pop records and, more importantly, been involved in a scandal that saw Hecklerspray writers given the chance to stare at her naked parts.
Over the years, Rihanna has gone from reasonably boring R&B thingy, to the crooner of slick electropop, to the champion of weird ballads and along the way, extolled the virtues of owning an umbrella-ella-ella-ay-ay-ay.
So what is she up to next? Well, we’re all about to find out with her new album, which Rihanna has told us will be called ‘Loud’ and will be released in November. Read More >>>
Usher really must have thought he had it all going for him.
He had a multi multi multi million selling album, a wife (eventually, a few times), a child with his name and some hats. Things were looking rosy for the dancing pop prat.
Then he brought out a new album, ‘Here I Stand’, and – compared to his last one, ‘Confessions’, at least – it flopped something rotten. While still selling just under a million copies to date, this is considered a failure by both Usher and, more likely, his record label.
So what’s the solution when you’re known around the world, popular, good looking and – apparently – talented?
Why – sack your management and go running to your mum. Obviously. Which is exactly what Raymond has gone and done, re-employing the mother he sacked just over a year ago as a part of his throwing his toys out of the pram reaction to not selling enough records.
Aww, bless him.
