Sometimes when being satanic just isn't enough anymore, a fellow's gotta come up with new fancy ways to shock people - and murder isn't generally an option due fairly heavy consequences.

Our cousin Mort, for instance, drank a three gallon hot sauce-bourbon mixture that left him in a coma for just under five days. When he came to in that hospital bed, and he saw both of his moms staring down at him, well that's the kind of loving attention he hasn't had in years. It's what he wanted.

Marilyn Manson is kind of like our cousin Mort. He's desperately looking for something to get him famous again - and he thinks his answer is rattlesnakes. He wants to fill up a bathtub with at least 87 of them, then crawl in and let them intertwine with his privies for no less than 45 minutes. All this to get in the Guinness Book next to those two fat scooter-riding twins.

A noble cause.