Seen something good on the web? Tell Dep Ed Michael about it and make all your dreams come true by getting your name on Webthump!

10. Sepp Blatter knows there’s no problem with racism in football. To prove the point, @thermoso sent us this website full of images of him not being racist.

9. A mysterious, inscrutable man calling himself “Roscoe” showed us this beautifully made Japanese anime. Yes, that is Hercule Poirot & Miss Marple. The theme song’s worth sticking around for.

8. @whoismatthew found a Sinclair C5 cot. You could have bought it but you didn’t. Your life is now invalid.

7. Do you hate the overly familiar nonsense on the side of your products? Well, @rhodri came across Wackaging.

6. Cat hair. Usually number 6 is reserved for kittens but @o0hollie0o found a book about how to craft objects from cat hair. Get it ordered up, you creepy bastards.

5. Penguins. They’re like kittens but inexorably better. Luckily, @hattiet_ found a Penguin Press. Not a press for pressing penguins, you understand.

4. Our very own @Robin_Darke is a sick pup and sent some Tourettes Karaoke in. It’s exactly as funny as it sounds.

3. Err… well… fan fiction‘s a bit of a weird one, isn’t it? @abitof seems to want you all to see this collection of the creepiest lines we’ve ever read. Bring a sick-bag.

2. It’s always number 2. Has Presidential candidate and all-round wonderful guy Herman Cain even heard of Libya? Well, he’s certainly checked something out.

1. @_Cabble never fails to find the weirdest things on the internet and blow us down with a light breeze if this didn’t make us spit our mini babybels with laughter.

Jamelia, Britain’s forgotten great popstar (okay, great’s a bit much, but she has made a whole bunch of ace tunes*) has opened her mouth and let some controversial words pop out, which is always nice.

She’s said that the police are a bunch of racist sods. Why? Well, you can make your own conclusions from your own experiences in your head… but this time, the singer is referring to the fact that gets a lot of needless attention from them. Almost like she was some kind of superstar. Ahem.

She’s said that, for no reason at all, she is regularly pulled over when she is driving because of the colour of her skin.

Writing on Twitter, hopefully doing a black panther salute, Jamelia said:

“The amount of times I’ve been pulled over for nothing is ridiculous… racism is alive and kicking people. I was not even driving, I was sat in my car parked up.”

“They said to me they have reason to believe my tax disc is counterfeit. When I asked them what this ‘reason’ was, they were stumped.”

Hmmm. Did they check her tyre pressure and the like, to see if it was all legit?

“They checked everything… including my tyre pressure (all legit). They then went on to say they don’t see how this … can be my car!

“They didn’t know I was Jamelia when they approached me, they just saw a black girl in an Adidas tracksuit and cap, in an expensive car.”

Ah! That’s the problem! It’s the squad that the police send out to people who refer to themselves in the third person. Craig David has been suffering from similar harassment also.

Glad that’s all cleared up.

*Need a reminder? Superstar was ace! As was the sleazy Beware of the Dog. See It In The Boy’s Eyes managed to be brilliant despite being written by Chris Martin, and Stop was a fun slice of ’60s-esque pop. Okay? That’s more good songs than The Saturdays will ever do.

Everyone deserves a second chance, even freakish-looking giants the colour of burning magma who are just a teensy bit racist.

And that's why A&E has decided to start remaking new episodes of Dog The Bounty Hunter, months after the show was pulled off air when Dog The Bounty Hunter started chucking the n-word around in a phone conversation like Christ knows what. 

Nobody is exactly sure what convinced A&E to start bringing Dog The Bounty Hunter back, but one possible clue lies in the locked cupboard full of screaming naked A&E executives who couldn't stop scratching at their burning eyes that was discovered last week. The fact that 'Give me my show back, bra' was also written on the cupboard wall in blood may be another indication.

Dog The Bounty Hunter has had a pretty rough ride of it lately. For all his 84 years up until last November, Dog The Bounty Hunter was invincible – a barn door of a man who'd deliberately grown his hair into a freakish Mad Max mullet just to dare people to even think about laughing at him. Dog The Bounty Hunter had never met a man he hadn't blinded with bear mace, and that was enough to give him his own show.

But that all came to an end in November when Dog The Bounty Hunter repeatedly used the word 'nigger' to describe his son's girlfriend in a taped phonecall. And that was it – frightened to be associated with a racist, advertisers bailed out of his show, A&E suspended production and Dog The Bounty Hunter was branded as the funniest-looking racist in the whole wide world. 

Dog The Bounty Hunter has been on a weird course of rehabilitation for the incident, which has included crying on TV, slowly learning that having a ridiculous suntan doesn't make you black and bewilderingly vowing to be buried in an unmarked slave grave at George Washington's house, and now it's paid off, because A&E is going to start making new Dog The Bounty Hunter episodes again. The New York Post reports:

After a five-month hiatus, A&E yesterday restarted production on the popular series Dog The Bounty Hunter. The show, which documents the life and work of bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman and his family of reformed misfits, is shot almost entirely in Hawaii, where the family operates "Da Kine" bail bonds. "Since the premise of 'Dog the Bounty Hunter' is about second chances, we have decided to give him one," said a statement from A&E. No return date has been set yet. Filming has not started either, according to reports, but producers have begun to gear up by renting cars and hiring make-up artists and camera crews.

What? The premise of Dog The Bounty Hunter is about second chances? Could've fooled us – we always thought it was about watching a funny-looking redneck and his funny-looking redneck family use preposterously heavy-handed tactics to try and spray other rednecks in the eyes with chemical tear gas.

Anyway, despite all the happy talk, it's difficult to see how Dog The Bounty Hunter will be able to have the same fearsome effect as before – all the criminals need to do now when Dog The Bounty Hunter is chasing them down an alley is turn around and shout "I have a black cousin! Don't you know how much your words wounded their heart?" and Dog will either break down and cry or launch into a lengthy confused apology. Either way, crook gets away. 

But that's something to worry about in the future – for now let's just be pleased that A&E has decided to forgive Dog The Bounty Hunter for his wrongdoings and allow his television career to continue out of a sense of pure goodwill.

Well, either that or A&E realised that without Dog The Bounty Hunter it mainly had to rely on a magic show presented by a man who looks like one of My Chemical Romance's Dad for ratings.

Read more:

Dog Out Of Pound – New York Post 

Guess what – the movie Crash is about to get turned into a TV series.

No, not Crash the David Cronenberg movie about James Spader having it off with people inside a smashed-up car – that would be too much like fun – we mean Crash the dreary Oscar-winning movie about racism and whatnot. That's the Crash that's being turned into a TV series.

We know. We can't wait either.

Remember when Brokeback Mountain won the Oscar for Best Picture a couple of years ago? Good wasn't it? Remember it well, do you? Yeah? No you don't, you big bloody liar! Even though it was infinitely more well-known and iconic, Brokeback Mountain didn't win the Best Picture Oscar. Crash did. 

Oh, come on. Crash. You remember Crash. It was Crash – the miserable film where a collection of stereotypes are racist to each other in a needlessly heavy-handed way and everyone cries a lot and silently screams into the sky because of all the emotional racist anguish they're experiencing. Remember it now?

Well, imagine Crash's sledgehammer racist miserablism stretched out for hour after hour after hour after hour, possibly for years. You see, Crash is being turned into a TV series, so that's exactly what you'll get. BBC News reports:

Crash, the movie which unexpectedly won best film at the Oscars two years ago, is being turned into a TV series. Thirteen one-hour programmes will be made US cable channel Starz. The show is expected to premiere in August. Paul Haggis, who co-wrote and directed the original, will be executive producer. Actor Don Cheadle will join the team and could reprise his role. The series will pick up where the movie ended. Cheadle, who will be a producer, said: "It will present an opportunity to delve into many subjects, not just race relations in LA."

Whatever your opinion, you have to admit this – Crash sounds like it'd be perfect viewing for people who like to stay in thinking about suicide. Although if the Crash TV series is a success, why couldn't it go onto dominate other mediums too, like animated Saturday morning cartoons or three-panel newspaper comic strips? Or puppet shows?

So will the Crash TV series be a success or a failure? If it's to be a success, it had better learn the golden rule of movie-to-TV spin-offs – sexy teenage robots. Lots of 'em.

Read more: 

Crash movie to hit US TV screens - BBC