Not because Big Brother’s finished, mind you. We’re sad because it means there’ll be a load more ex-Big Brother housemates flouncing around in public thinking that they’re megastars now. That just sort of makes us throw ourselves out of a window, really.

But enough of that. Big Brother final, woo! Who’s going to win, huh? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for the two favourites – Rachel and Mikey – with help from Paddy Power…

Rachel - If there was any justice in the world then Rachel would win Big Brother, simply for the fact that she’s not as utterly objectionable as any of the other remaining housemates. Sure, she’s not exactly solid gold entertainment – in fact, you could have put a picture of a poo in a cup into the Big Brother house in Rachel’s place and you’d have probably got better value for money – but there’s one question you need to ask yourself. Who would you rather see the Big Brother prize money given to – any of the hopeless grasping tits that are in the Big Brother house, or Rachel the lovely levelheaded schoolteacher lady? What? You think that Rachel should get the money? Are you kidding? Look – if none of the others win, they’ll be so desperate for money that they’ll all try and become TV presenters and singers and actors and it’ll be terrible and British culture will never properly recover from it. You idiots. Current Big Brother betting odds – 5/2

Mikey - Well colour us wrong -the British public really are a bunch of snivelling pity-hungry bell ends after all. Why else would Mikey be the favourite to win Big Brother tonight? His compassion? His staggering wit? His superhuman good-looks? If Mikey wins Big Brother it’ll be because he’s blind and nothing else. Of course, that’s assuming that Mikey is going to win Big Brother – he’s never been up for eviction, so his popularity is only based on what the other Big Brother housemates think of him. For all we know, all the Big Brother viewers might think that Mikey is a big sightless wanker. Who knows – we’ll find out later on. At least one thing’s for sure, though – if Mikey does win Big Brother, all those fireworks that usually accompany the winner will be wasted. Honestly, if Endemol was smart it’d keep the receipts and just get a load of people to pop a couple of hundred crisp packets instead. Mikey’s never going to know, is he? Current Big Brother betting odds -11/10

Next week: Something else that isn’t Big Brother. But don’t forget that you can still head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds and place one last bet.

That’s not the grim-minded prophesy of someone who hates mankind – well it is, a bit – it’s actually scientific fact. Mohamed has been named as head of the Big Brother house, and that means he can’t get nominated and therefore has automatically reached the upcoming Big Brother final. Bad news if you dislike Mohamed, but brilliant news if you dislike Big Brother. So a win-win for everyone, really.

Who’s going to win Big Brother? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Lisa, Darnell, Rachel and Mikey, with help from Paddy Power…

Lisa - Oh Lisa, you foolish man-looking beefcake. What have you gone and done? We’ll tell you what you’ve gone and done. You’ve gone and got engaged to Mario, that’s what. Yes, it might seem like a touchingly romantic thing to accept a marriage proposal through a pane of glass on live television, but have some foresight for God’s sake. We don’t want to be rude to you Lisa, especially since you’ve suddenly become inexplicably popular in our brief absence, so we won’t. All we’ll say is this – either you or Mario had better be completely infertile, because any children you have will all look like Wolf out of Gladiators. But, you know, congratulations and whatever. Current Big Brother betting odds – 7/1

Darnell – Occasionally we happen to miss an episode of Big Brother, and usually we view that as a kind of special treat. But sometimes it hurts, like the time we missed the moment when Darnell admitted that he didn’t have a girlfriend and covered himself in chocolate as some kind of bizarre self-hate penance. That sort of thing is once in a lifetime entertainment and we blew it. Sorry. But it must have worked, because Darnell is still riding high in the Big Brother betting odds. Maybe covering yourself in chocolate and ranting about what a miserable freak you are is the way to success after all. If it is, then perhaps Tom Daley should think about doing that instead of diving, the weird ventriloquist dummy nobhead. Current Big Brother betting odds – 7/2

Rachel – We’ve secretly always wanted Rachel to do well in Big Brother, if only for the fact that her inevitable Nuts magazine photospread would be one of those awkward ‘Look! It’s Rachel From Big Brother In An Unusually Thick Floor-Length Nightie!’ shoots. With a few weeks to go, Rachel looks certain to be in the Big Brother final, and she’s got there by being sweet and lovely and whatever the opposite of vindictive is. It just goes to show that while nice guys finish last, nice girls don’t finish last so long as they wear enough bikinis. Current Big Brother betting odds – 11/4

Mikey – Wait a minute, the blind bloke’s going to win Big Brother after all? Well diddle us silly. Of course, we always thought at first that Mikey would win Big Brother, but that’s purely because he’s blind and people are pity-filled idiots. But then it became painfully clear that as well as being blind, Mikey was actually a bit of a dick and his betting odds dropped accordingly. And now he’s the favourite to win Big Brother again. Why? Is it because Mikey has suddenly become nice? No. The only thing we can think of is that Mikey recently shaved his head and now everyone thinks that he’s a blind man going through chemotherapy. But that’s awful and we never actually thought that. Current Big Brother betting odds – 5/4

Tomorrow – eviction betting odds. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Okay so technically she hasn’t been booted out yet, but if she doesn’t go then we won’t be happy and we’ll blame everyone in the country – nay – the world for letting us down. It has to make the most sense anyway – Nicole’s an arse, whereas Sara’s hot and Lisa’s comically insane – there’s no point in keeping the spoiled brat.

If you do want to risk some money, or make very little back from a huge bet, feel free to make your way to Paddy Power and check out their latest odds.

If Nicole doesn’t get kicked out of the Big Brother house tonight then there is no justice left in the world.

The scheming, conniving, selfish, fake blonde bitch should be drop-kicked out of there rather than be allowed to walk the steps of shame.

After joining the party on a BB whim, Nicole has bored the pants off of the public with her tears and tantrums, while letting designer boyfriend Rex walk all over her and make her look like the very wettest of blankets. Big brother betting odds – 1-100

She didn’t really want to be in there in the first place and has constantly ‘assured’ Rex – and the watching public, in actual fact – that she would do a bunk if her fella left. Unfortunately, as head of house, her fella survived this week’s nominations – so there is no double whammy to celebrate tonight.

Nicole is up against Aussie chick Sara and mummy of the house Lisa. There’s simply no competition.

Sara is a pain in the arse but at least she’s not evil. Her game has been a flirty one and while it hasn’t won her many friends inside or outside the house, it hasn’t left her tainted by the brush of hate. Big Brother betting odds 20-1

She is likely to survive the boot with Lisa, who has managed to keep out of the limelight since her comedy boyfriend Mario was chucked out by the public a month or so ago.

Apart from Lisa’s strangely obsessive hate for kindly Welsh lass Rachel, she has managed to keep her head down and glide through the nominations until now.

If she was up against anyone but Nicole she might be worried – but there is surely going to be little competition tonight. Big Brother betting odds 16-1

‘Big Brother, this is Davina, you are live in Channel 4, please do not swear. Nicole, get the fuck out!’

Mikey remains the favourite to win, with Darnell now a close second. He stood up for Kat yesterday when Rex and Mohamed wanted her to pull out of the Thriller dance routine task using her bad back as an excuse. Big Brother betting odds 11-8 (Mikey) and 11-4 (Darnell)

Darnell, Rachel and Mikey saw through Rex, while Mo backed up the tosspot. However, Mo looked like he regretted his ‘We’re going to fail the task’ outburst later, when he was in the bedroom with Kat, Rachel and Darnell.

And again later when they all passed the task. You’ll learn Mo. But it may be a bit too late by then. Big Brother betting odds 80-1

Next week: we’ll see how the tenth eviction affects things. Basically, as it’s Nicole most likely going then it’ll make things better. Rex will either walk with her or he’ll stay and become less of a twat – like he was before she was in there. Other than that, we’re gearing up for the final stretch of Big Brother 2008 – get to Paddy Power to bet on the winner!

Story By Richard Hughes

There’s no Kat fight and welsh teacher Rachel has survived Lisa’s scornful looks for another week – but for the other three, it’s claws out, let the bitch fest begin.

So who will be trying to avoid that up-skirt shot (or not, as the case may be with Sara and Nicole) as they climb the BB steps to instant, bright-burning but inevitably short-lived 15 minutes of fame?

One of Lisa, Sarah or Nicole will be ousted – and about time, too. If we could get them all out, we would. The public will decide, of course – and the least favourite housemate will be thrust into the limelight and onto Davina’s couch on Friday. Check with Paddy Power to see how your decision can help net you a bit of cash too.

Here are their potted BB histories.

Sara came in late and threw the cosy balance of the house out of kilter straight away. The Aussie chick was quick to hook her talons into Dale, with his squeeze Jen still there – but once he had been kicked out, following a brief flirtation with Darnell, her next big crush was Stuart.

It has been a ‘can I find me a man’ time in the house for Sara, who also has a thing for Rex. But I’m sure she’ll regret that once she gets out. Big Brother betting odds – 18-1

Next up is Lisa, the lapsed body-builder who entered the house almost 80 days ago with her hunky 40-something boyfriend Mario. The pair didn’t make a great start to their time in front of the cameras, become extremely unpopular with the viewers – and some housemates, almost immediately.

But since Mario was given his marching orders, Lisa has relaxed and, apart from her aborted break out and obsessive hate for Rachel, she has relaxed into her mother of the house role. Big Brother betting odds – 20-1

And finally, Nicole – can I really be bothered with her? No. Rex moaned about missing her for what seems like years and then she turns up and he treats her like shit. And she takes it.

Get out of the house on Friday Nicole and you’ll find out pretty quickly that he is hated beyond redemption and it’s time to find a nice bloke. Trouble is, what nice bloke is going to look twice… Big Brother betting odds – 1-100

On the winning front, things remain in Mikey’s favour, with Darnell, Rachel and Kat just ahead of Lisa. And that’s unlikely to change until the final day now. Big Brother betting odds – 11-8

Tomorrow: eviction day, the tenth housemate will leave the house through a public vote and we will finally – hopefully – get rid of Nicole. The annoying little twit. Check with Paddy Power for updated odds – maybe Nicole will manage to swing the running in her favour? (Here’s a clue: she won’t)

Story By Richard Hughes

They are all nomination virgins of course, so whichever leaves, it’s going to hurt. However, there may be some relief for Nicole if she gets evicted. At least she won’t have to put up with her arsehole boyfriend Rex anymore.

Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the favourites for the chop – but today let’s have another look those still in the running for the big cash prize, as laid down by Paddy Power. Kerching!

Mikey still heads the list, no surprise there. The blind Scot, who is currently leading the ‘I Hate Rex’ campaign, has been top of the betting charts since time in memorial. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Darnell has jumped into second place over the last week beating off the competition from Rachel and Kat. The quirky albino American has a good chance of upsetting the odds. Big Brother betting odds – 5-2

Rachel, the smooth operator, is keeping it cool again this week and might be worth an outside punt. Her and Kat are bound to make the final week are they avoided this week’s nominations. Big Brother betting odds – 10-3

Kat, the shrieking dumpling, seems to be losing ground. Once she was a shoe-in, but now she is just an irritating, squat noise-machine. Big Brother betting odds – 6-1

Lisa, the man-women (are those tits fake or not?) is next in line – and may well make the final day if she doesn’t get the boot this Friday. Big Brother betting odds – 7-1

Rex. Oh hateful Rex. He’s possibly the vilest creature this side of the Atlantic. He’s going get a shock when he leaves the house – he probably thinks he’s an extraordinarily popular housemate but the boos will ring out like never before. It’s such as shame that, as head of house this week, he couldn’t nominated. Big Brother betting odds – 16-1

Sara is this week’s surprise nomination. And she received more votes than the other two, too. The Aussie beauty has been playing the man-game though and both Dale and Stuart were kicked out while she attempted to dig her claws in. She can’t go back to Darnell, the ideal man Rex is attached – so there’s only Mikey and Mo left… Oh dear. Big Brother betting odds – 50-1

Mohamed finally cooked his goose when he ate one of Mikey’s bogeys for a can of cider this week. Nuff said. Yuk. Big Brother betting odds – 80-1

Nicole. Just shut up. Stop crying. Dump Rex. Go home. You hateful women. Big Brother betting odds – 250-1

Tomorrow: we’ll be gearing up for yet another eviction – one that could change the makeup of the entire house. Either that or Lisa will go, which is unlikely to change anything, really. In the meantime, don’t forget to check out Paddy Power for the latest Big Brother betting odds.

Story By Richard Hughes

Seriously though, how much more of their interminable bickering and childish arguments can the nation put up with? They are a microcosm of every bad facet of every bad relationship anyone has ever had in the history of man. The fact that Nicole believes Rex had a two day sex and alcohol fuelled sex-a-thon with a Vegas stripper doesn’t seem to be helping her relax too much either.

The housemates were asked to make Roman chewing gum mosaics of their newly crowned leader, Caesar Rex as part of the day’s task. The housemates who made the best one would receive a prize, which obviously led to numerous jibes about, ‘oh I wonder who will win?’ Nicole and Sara maybe? HMMMM? To which Caesar decreed, “Look, I’m not going to do a Rachel…” then, obviously, did a Rachel and chose his girlfriend and his favourite Aussie to enjoy the special prize, which was a plate of MEAT. CLASS.

So how has this all affected the other housemates standing in the eyes of the public and our wonderful friends at Paddy Power?

Mikey is still the top dog of the house. This man has a golden ticket to the finals it would appear. He shocked housemates by explaining that sex was not really his thing as it is boring, commenting “when you can’t see anything going on, it’s dull,” then elaborating to say that according to the bastion of truth, justice and FACT, The Sun newspaper, blind folk are the best lovers. So when he wins that £100K and buys some laser eyes, look out ladies, Mikey is on the loose. Big Brother Betting Odds – 2-1

Darnell has increased in popularity this week thanks to his funny T-Rex-like walk and the ever powerful sympathy vote; he’s a virgin you know. Awww, bless him. Still the paranoia increases about his relationship with the ladies, commenting to Big Bro that “if no one in the house fancies me, there isn’t much hope with women in the real world.” Still he is coming in as a strong number two to win this week; if he can keep up the fun then he’s in with a real shot at the title. Big Brother Betting Odds – 5-2.

Rachel continues to be the nicest housemate this week and is still bullied at every opportunity by all and sundry. We just can’t put a finger on why everyone in the house (other than Kat) dislikes her so much, I mean she is childish, dull and has a huge head but come on! Women traditionally don’t win Big Brother but she is a strong contender for third place. Big Brother Betting Odds – 7-2.

Kat just loves to rut, all day, every day. Prince Charming once mounted her for a record 15 times in one day according to her. Imagine that. Go on, have a good hard think about it, because since she said that, that is all I can think about, it is burnt into my brain FOREVER. Big Brother Betting Odds – 6-1.

Lisa believes that wasps can kill you, one sting and dead. Still, she has done a lot of research into it and therefore it is fact. Still, you can’t really take anything she says too seriously though after an ill advised fake tan session in which she ended up looking like a streaky turd. Big Brother Betting Odds – 7-1.

Rex surely can’t get any more annoying, can he? Yes, yes he can. The super fascistic head of house has been slowly grinding away at Nicole about the information she learned on the outside world, but she is being tight lipped about his alleged philandering. Even when the ginger lothario asks her if she’d like to do “some petting.” Big Brother Betting Odds – 16-1.

Sara is still missing Stu and is still avoiding Mo’s unwanted attempts at flirting. She has been relatively quiet apart from when she was praising Big Brother’s meat based prize for winning the task with Nicole. She does love meat. Big Brother Betting Odds – 50-1.

Mohamed has a little spring in his step due to the erroneous belief that Sara finds him attractive. After all, don’t women love greedy lethargic fatties? No, no they don’t and it is only a matter of time – and cider – before his hopes and dreams are crushed by her. Big Brother Betting Odds – 80-1.

Nicole is the kind of girl that you meet at university who is incapable of existing outside of the remit of Mummy and Daddy. She spends her days wearing faux hippie outfits, having ridiculous opinions about bringing back hanging and talking about horses. Thankfully due to her constant prattling she has made herself the most unpopular housemate, SCORE. Big Brother Betting Odds – 200-1.

What joys will tomorrow hold? Will Mo finally seduce Sara only to be shot down in flames? Will Nicole cry and will Rex finally snap and attack her? Tune in tomorrow kids – and in the meantime check out Paddy Power for the latest Big Brother betting odds.

Story By Ben Morrison

The soon to be front cover model of every Heat magazine for the rest of eternity received a mixed reaction from the crowd, shrill screams of affection from the moist army of girls in the audience and begrudging boos from the boys. However, special mention has to go to Stu for his ill-advised yet hilarious attempt at crowd surfing: jump, crowd parts in confusion and hit the floor. Textbook.

Housemates fought in the battle of the century for this week’s much coveted and strategically invaluable Head of House(tm) title. Well, they stood still for around 20 minutes painted as various famous statues until it came down to Mo and Rex. Rex took the title by being the best at being still for the longest amount of time; after all he can do literally anything he sets his mind to.

So with Rex as the new head of house how does that shape the dynamics for the other housemates, will his ever changing sociopathic tendencies shine though even more, will he finally argue at Nicole long enough about NOTHING to push her before she jumps and will Mikey obey his new ginger master? As always, Paddy Power have their say on the matter.

Mikey is still the nation’s favourite food smeared all over their face, outspoken, Scottish blind chap. He even managed to top the nob in cup-gate incident this week by revealing to the assembled housemates that he once accepted a top award for the radio station he works at with, yes you’ve guessed it… his nob out. Still he is blind didn’t you know, so if you don’t bet on him you are against blind people… you sicken me. Big Brother Betting Odds – 2-1.

Darnell is increasingly paranoid as time goes by in the house. His confidence is still shockingly shaken post Sara-11, where she decided that Stu is more her type than bubble-butted reformed bad boy, D-Dog. His natural charm is still flowing though mainly due to the fact that he is the most twitchy and crazy housemate for a good few years. Big Brother Betting Odds – 5-2.

Rachel’s spirits have risen after she survived this week’s eviction and got a little party to celebrate where she ate a lot of marmite sandwiches. In a very clumsy analogy, Rachel is increasingly the marmite housemate; you either love her or hate her. Either way she is still in and still being bullied on all fronts, but at least she is still one of the favourites. Big Brother Betting Odds – 7-2.

Kat has managed to lower the public’s view of her silly voiced charm and excitable mushroom face this week after numerous dull tantrums and going on about cookies once again, yes Kat we can tell from looking at you that you ruddy LOVE cookies. Well done, have a cookie, actually best not. There is a credit-munch on at the moment you know. Big Brother Betting Odds – 6-1.

Lisa, the self styled Amazonian mental is still well liked in the house, well she confuses people so much with her constant life lessons, boasting and plain insanity that they forget to nominate her each week. Plus better not say much about her otherwise Mario might jump on my head then escape down a handy nearby green pipe. A cert for the final week. Big Brother Betting Odds – 7-1.

Rex, where to even begin? Rex’s Machiavellian plan seems to be coming to fruition this week after being crowned head of house for the first time, thereby becoming immune from this week’s nominations and hence surviving until the final week. Remember Nasty Nick? He wasn’t actually nasty, let’s face it: Mugabe ain’t got nothing on Rex. His constant bickering with ‘love of his life’ posho Nicole will soon come to a head when his transformation to the dark side will be complete, and he will on national television electrocute Nicole with finger lightening after she disobeys her master. Big Brother Betting Odds – 20-1.

Sara, lovely Aussie Sara. The excitable Aussie beaut (see what I did there) is still an outsider as far as winning is concerned, probably by alienating all the female viewers by trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to cosy up to best Dad in the world Stu and rejecting loveable Darnell. Big Brother Betting Odds – 40-1.

Mohamed has been the victim of his own gluttony again this week thereby almost guaranteeing himself to be nominated, plus he has developed an inappropriate crush on Sara which he cringingly works on every time they are left alone for more than 3 seconds. Big Brother Betting Odds – 50-1.

And finally, Nicole the spoilt, trophy ‘wife’ of despotic dictator Rex has managed to be so pointless and annoying she has found herself in a situation where Paddy Power has given her lower odds than an if Abu Hamza were to enter the house, so unlucky. Big Brother Betting Odds – 200-1.

So how will Rex’s first full day as head of house go? Will the levels of paranoia keep on rising and will Mikey tell us another nob related story, come back tomorrow and find out. In the meantime, check with Paddy Power for up to the minute odds on the sods in the house.

Story By Ben Morrison – sorry about the lateness!

Stu should be climbing the steps before the night is out and here’s hoping Rex will be thoroughly confused by the whole thing.

Rachel’s tears over the dead goldfish – and Nicole’s laughter at her reaction showed them both up for what they are.

Okay, so tears over a dead goldfish do seem slightly over the top – but Nicole’s smug ’she’s crying over the goldfish’, snigger, snigger signposted the bitch for what she is.

Stuart wants to go, of course, He’ll be pleased as punch if he walks tonight. But the house will have to realise that Rachel is a real contender this time around.

So, with time slowly running out – who do Paddy Power think is still in the frame for the title this year?

Mikey looks set to win. The canny Scot is too clever to be beaten. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Rachel is still second, and her performance over the dead goldfish may have solidified her status and even have her pushing Mikey for Paddy Power’s top spot. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Third favourite Darnell is losing it slightly – and all because he go a knock back from Aussie chick Sara. It’s been fun to watch the lad suffer, then come out fighting. Big Brother Betting odds – 7-2

Kat, Kat, Kat – constantly chasing her tail. How boring after ten minutes. But she will outstay most and be there for the final day, as will Lisa. Big Brother betting odds – Kat (4-1), Lisa (8-1)

Nasty bastard Rex is fast being found out by the rest of the housemates. If he doesn’t go next week I shall be shocked to the core. Big Brother betting odds – 18-1

Stuart, it look’s like you’re off tonight, son – at least you’ll be happy. Big Brother betting odds – Stu 20-1

It will be interesting to see how Sara reacts if Stu goes tonight. She has invested a lot of time getting the hunk interested in him. Will she try to ‘use’ Darnell again as her love interest? Big Brother betting odds – Sara (25-1)

Mohamed – sorry son, you’ve got no chance. Big Brother betting odds – 40-1

Nicole – waste of space. Big Brother betting odds – 100-1

Next week: with another housemate out, how will the dynamic have been affected? And though it’s likely to be Stuart going, what will happen if the public have a change of heart and kick out Rachel? Keep your eyes on Paddy Power for the most recent updates.

Story By Richard Hughes

But she looks odds on to be wrong – and it will be beefcake Stuart who athletically tackles those steps to freedom tomorrow, finally leaving the house and getting what he wants so badly.

It’s not just the Olympics that could be worth a flutter though, and our pals at Paddy Power have all the betting odds you would ever need for Big Brother.

Olympic Stu has been itching to get out for weeks now – no doubt hoping to get his teeth into that modelling contract or TV offer bound to be on its way. Big Brother betting odds – 1-6

So Rachel will likely survive and justify her second favourite status – much to the shock of Rex, who thinks she’s a waste of space and that she will go. Big Brother betting odds – 7-2

Mikey has finally sussed bully Rex and told man-woman Lisa exactly what he thinks of the conceited peacock. It’s just a shame, Mikey, that you didn’t use your head-of-house megaphone to let everyone else know what a prick he is.

Okay, they should have been able to work it out for themselves by now – but sometimes you need a nudge from a blind guy to see the wood for the trees, don’t ya?

The bald Scot continues to annoy the rest of the housemates this week, while upping the ante in the betting stakes. He remains favourite to win the whole thing – and who would bet against that right now. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Rachel is still second, her strength coming from Rex’s bullying and the fact that people like Lisa think she’s playing a game when quite obviously, she’s just being nice. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Third favourite now, however, is Darnell, who has leapfrogged the bubbling Kat. The skinhead albino rapper, who is being pawed by Aussie flirt Sara, may be picking up the sympathy vote, while his entertainment value is higher than most, too. Fair play. Anyone else chuckle at his slouchy Neanderthal walk – or is it just me? Big Brother Betting odds – 7-2

Kat’s hissy-fits have seen her drop down the odds table – she’s still way ahead of Lisa, but that pair are almost certain to make the last day because they won’t get enough nominations in one week to be up for eviction until then. Big Brother betting odds – Kat (4-1), Lisa (8-1)

Rex must go before he becomes a dictator-like figure – surely the housemates will follow Mikey’s lead and see sense before the final week? The public have and he has been slipping down the odds for weeks now. But what if his evil scheme works? Then you could make a few quid out of the devil. Big Brother betting odds – 18-1

Stuart is still an outside bet, despite the likelihood of him walking this week – and his mate Sara, who seems intent on breaking poor Darnell’s heart and bagging herself a bit of Stu instead, isn’t out of the running either. Big Brother betting odds – Stu (20-1), Sara (25-1)

But, the rest of the field look to have cooked their goose. Mohamed and Nicole are dead housemates walking, and it’s only a matter of time before they are sent on that long walk up the stairs. At least Mo will get a decent feed then. Big Brother betting odds – Mo (40-1), Nicole (100-1).

Tomorrow: it’s eviction day – will it be the expected outcome of hunk-o-Stu giving Davina that all-important one-to-one interview, or will public opinion swing in favour of ousting Rachel because she… hmm… is a bit too nice? Either way, Paddy Power have all your betting needs.

Story By Richard Hughes

And thank you too Mikey for winding up Rex – someone had to but only the bald, blind, slightly mental Scot had the balls. Or the duck and the jug.

And, excuse me, why is everyone getting so het up about a little bit of water? For God’s sake Kat, lighten up you sad little odd-bod. You fell asleep, deal with it. Rex – you fell asleep too: DEAL WITH IT YOU IDIOT.

Rex got quite riled: “You’re starting to annoy people with your little duck and your jug,” he yelled. Well Rex, you’re starting to annoy me with your mouth and your clingy blonde.

But in the midst of all these watering downs and ill-feeling, at least we can rely on Paddy Power to keep us up to speed on the latest Big Brother betting odds.

There are some really fragile egos in that house and it comes to something when a small splash of water from a blind guy with a small yellow duck which has a tiny hole in it – which you could quite easily evade because, hey, rocket scientists: he’s blind – starts a group argument and then a Big Brother cold war.

But Stuart started to wake up a little yesterday – about time too. Up for for the chop this week, after he was disappointed not to leave last Friday when Dale was voted out, Stu began to stir things up, winding up half of the housemates while encouraging the others to get shirty.

Good on ya, that’s the Stu we want. But can he fight off the challenge of Rachel? Big Brother betting odds – 1-10

Rachel has continued to just be herself, sitting on some fences, every now and then having an opinion about something and generally confusing the housemates by being both genuine and nice. They may not trust her in the house but she’s still favourite to stay in this week’s eviction. Big Brother betting odds – 5-1

Yesterday we looked at the favourites to win, with Mikey, Rachel and Kat way out in front. There seems to be little chance according to Paddy Power that anyone else will walk away with the title this time around. But wait – don’t write off Sara just yet.

Her flirting is becoming more obvious and she is certainly playing off Darnell against Stu – and the Aussie chick is becoming more interesting. She is getting close to Darnell while wanting Stuart – her little looks told us all the story. The flirt to worry the faves? Big Brother betting odds – 25-1

Rex, BB’s big arse, is unlikely to garner enough to support to win it because, quite simply, he’s a wanker. But if you fancy a cheeky punt on the ginger whinger, then you could make a few quid if a miracle happens. Just don’t go anywhere near him with that holy duck water. Big Brother betting odds – 28-1

Then there are the ‘don’t waste your money’ duo – Nicole (yawn, bloody yawn), the blonde airhead waste-of-space, and Mo, who just doesn’t appeal to anyone, even himself I should imagine.

Nicole, as Mikey quite rightly pointed out yesterday, didn’t even audition for BB – so why should she even be in there? And Mo. Fat Mo, Lazy Mo, Tiresome Mo, Slow Mo… Go Mo. Big brother betting odds… Nicole an impossible 100-1 – Mo to go? No, then it’s 40-1 for you

Tomorrow: the eviction race… is it a race? Anyway – the eviction ‘thing’ hots up as we get towards D-Day for either Rachel or Stuart. Will the pretty boy manage to pull something out of the bag, or will the fact that the public actually like Rachel make it impossible for him to stay? Check with Paddy Power for regular updates on each housemates’ odds.

Story By Richard Hughes.

Last week he couldn’t really be bothered – but then Dale was easy meat, it was obvious he was going from the word go.

But Rachel is a completely different opponent. She is likely to raise her game while Stuart struggles to find his.

See if Stuart can raise his game, or if the bookies think Rachel is too far ahead in public opinion by checking Paddy Power.

Rachel, bullied by Rex for the last month, will get the public’s sympathy vote. She has been battered and bruised by a succession of barbed comments which have been flung in her direction by the callous chef.

So, though Stuart is likely to get his support from his teeny fans, Rachel may have a chance of saving her Big Brother skin by playing on her sympathy vote this week.

Amazing, despite her nomination, Rachel is still second favourite with Paddy Power to win the whole thing. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Still out front to win is Mikey – the new bald Mikey who managed to burst that Kat bubble yesterday, upsetting her and making her cry. Ah, shame… Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Cookie monster Kat, of course, remains third favourite to win, but her tears won’t have helped. The sympathy thing won’t work for her like it does for Rachel. Big Brother betting odds – 7-2

The Bald Eagle, American Darnell, is still in the race though, with his on-off love thing with Sara keeping his story interesting. And he gave Kat the benefit of his wise words yesterday, when the tears started flowing. Big Brother betting odds – 4-1

Lisa, keeping mum, is continuing her games of stealth – she’ll be there in the final week – Big Brother betting odds – 12/1

The rest of the housemates are all outside bets, with nothing short of a miracle likely to help any of them win the competition.

Stuart to go then, with Rachel stronger than they all believe in that house. Imagine Rex’s face when Stu’s name is called up… the chef will be cooking up a storm then!

Tomorrow: will Stuart have altered his game plan accordingly? Will his odds look favourable at all, or is he consigned to Big Brother history? And will anyone in the house realise how much everyone outside actually likes Rachel? Who knows. Paddy Power are good at guessing, though.

Story By RIchard Hughes.

It was a bold move by Big Brother yesterday, who asked for the housemates to fill a jar with hair. And it was an even bolder Mikey who decided that he would go skinhead to get the task motoring.

Darnell joined him and now, here we are, with two rather strange-looking slapheads in the house, waiting for the nominations today.

We now have ten housemates left. So let’s take a look at who’s in the running for the title in 2008, with betting odds, as ever, provided by Paddy Power.

Mikey – Everyone’s favourite, Mikey is a strong bet for the title this year. The freshly-mown skinhead has been consistently number one in Paddy Power’s stakes and this is unlikely to change soon. The sympathy goes a long way it seems, for the blind Scot. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Rachel ­– Rex’s bullying may be cringe-worthy to watch, but it seems Rachel is benefiting from it in a strange way. While the chef keeps plugging away, the homely Welsh maid is climbing the odds table. Next thing you know she’ll be a winner, leaving Rex’s face a picture to behold. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Kat – Come on Kat, time to change your game plan. There must be a nasty piece of work in there somewhere. Let’s see it, you’re dropping down the charts and something needs to be done. From Ewok to Gremlin. That’d do it. Big Brother betting odds – 7-2

Darnell – Scalped like Mikey, Darnell only has eyes for Sara, and their flirting is profiting both of them. A love story is always good for the participants, as long as they want it to be. And Darnell, of course, gets the ‘I’ve never had a girlfriend’ sympathy vibe, too. Big Brother betting odds – 4-1

Stuart – Last week he was Mr Duller-than-Dull and he still survived. Thing is, the poor blighter wants to go. Even a love story wouldn’t liven this housemate up. Shame on him for even bothering to go to the auditions. Big Brother betting odds – 8-1

Lisa – Mummy of the house Lisa is playing a stealthy game at the moment. She shrunk into the shadows when her fella Mario was kicked out – and now just pops up making herself look good occasionally. An outside bet perhaps. Big Brother betting odds – 12-1

Sara – Aussie flirt Sara’s been playing with Darnell. But even that won’t better her chances. Destined for the boot, I’m afraid. Maybe even this week. Big Brother betting odds – 25-1

Rex – He’s a bully and a prick. Nuff said. Big Brother betting odds – 28-1

Mohamed – I notice he didn’t shave his locks off for the good of the house. Mo, Mo, Mo – you have no chance of winning. Why not just walk, eh? Big Brother betting odds – 50-1

Nicole – Dump Rex you blond bint. Yawn. Next… Big Brother betting odds – 100-1

Tomorrow: will the odds have swung in favour of any other housemate? Will Nicole make herself the public’s favourite by smacking Rex in his smug chops? Probably not, but we can dream. In the meantime, don’t forget to check Paddy Power for up-to-the-minute odds on the housemates.

Story By Richard Hughes.

While Mikey has turned into a human sprout machine – after first refusing to take part in the task, he then decided the best way to chomp his way through 100 sprouts by chewing them up and turning the into some kind of sprout soup. Disgusting!

So Mikey remains favourite to win this BB, which Kat and Darnell his biggest rivals. But what of the others? How do they fair in the Paddy Power stakes?

Dale: Dale is Mr Smugly Genuine – so will glide through to the final week, but then crash and burn for being far too irritatingly nice. Never trust a nice guy, especially if they have designer stubble they fashion with a pair of scissors. Big Brother betting odds – 11-1.

Stuart: Poor old Darnell. Stuart has stolen his bird and broken his precious heart. Pass me the bowl of sprouts and the biggest sick bag you can find please. Stuart and Sara are BB’s latest love match, and it’s Darnell who suffers this time, relegated to sleeping on the sofa to avoid having to put up with their smooching in the bedroom. Big Brother Betting odds – 11-1.

Sara: As if Sara was going to chose Darnell over slick Stu. The Aussie man-trap has made her decision and it’s the hunk she’s wants. Darnell was devastated and stormed out of the bedroom liked a spoiled little boy, leaving Stu to savour the moment by frolicking under the sheets with the wide mouthed slapper. Her maneuvers may have hit her in the title stakes – not that she was ever a real threat to the big guns Kat and Darnell anyway – and she may have just given Darnell a bit of a boost in sympathy market. Keep your money in your pockets. Big Brother betting odds – 22-1.

Rachel: Is Rachel playing a game or not? Her decision to give everyone else their letters, rather keep her own, showed she is willing to do things without looking for kudos from the housemates. However, the viewing public may have picked up on her weepy diary room antics and taken her for the cynical game-playing bitch she might be, but after being bullied by Rex she may have picked up some sympathy votes. Big Brother Betting odds – 5-1.

Mohamed: At 50-1 it seems Mohamed has cooked his goose. There seems to be little interest in BB’s human dustbin anymore. He is as unlikely a winner as Prince Charles is a pole dancer. He may make it to the last day before getting the boot though. Big Brother Betting odds – 50-1.

Tomorrow: It’s nominations time. But you can quench your betting thirst before that by heading over to Paddy Power and checking out the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Story by Richard Hughes.

Instead, the Big Brother housemates who will all be holding their sphincters in as tightly as possible at about 10:30 tonight are Kat, Darnell, Dale, Stuart, Mohamed, Luke, Rex and Rachel. One of them has to go. We know. Just one. Life sucks, doesn’t it?

So here are the Big Brother betting odds for the eviction of Luke, Dale, Rachel, Rex and Stuart for you to work backwards with, courtesy of Paddy Power…

Luke – Luke was one of the Big Brother housemates to be nominated for eviction before all this football nonsense came along and made us have to write about four times as many housemates as we wanted to. Will the Big Brother viewers remain loyal to the housemates’ original choices? Probably not. Are we past the point of caring at the moment? Yup. Current Big Brother betting odds – 1/6

Dale – Dale is overwhelming the favourite to be evicted from Big Brother tonight because, well, because he’s a staggering tossbasket. He was a useless Big Brother head of house, he’s clearly a bit too in love with himself and he definitely deserves to be evicted tonight, if only for the heartbreaking look on his face when he realises that Jennifer isn’t there and that she doesn’t love him any more. That’d be television gold almost on the level of Tonightly, the brand new top-notch, very funny show that immediately follows the Big Brother eviction on Channel 4 tonight. Ahem. Current Big Brother betting odds – 12/1

Rachel – As perfectly obvious as it is that Rachel is lovely and the victim of needless bullying in the Big Brother house, there’s a part of us that half-expects her to be evicted tonight. Two reasons for this: 1) there’s a slowly-growing backlash building against Happy House, of which Rachel is a chief member, and 2) people are mostly idiots. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Rex – Rex, despite building a smidge of a following round these parts, absolutely threw it all away this week when, after watching the Big Brother intro tapes, he rounded on Rachel and made her cry. Rex says Rachel is a fake and a phony, but it’s better to be a fake than a braying, arrogant twunt. Right everyone? Everyone? We’re the only ones who care about this, aren’t we? Fiddlesticks. Current Big Brother betting odds – 8/1

Stuart – And then there’s Stuart, who was head of the Big Brother house this week until his cockheaded idea to discuss nominations by cackhandedly assigning each housemate a football team backfired. That’s one more thing to cry about, isn’t it Stuart, along with the way that nobody loves you and you miss your daughter and boo hoo hoo hoo hoo mer mer mer. Current Big Brother betting odds – 80/1

Next week: More Big Brother betting odds. What did you expect? But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Probably the most exciting thing to happen on Big Brother is the fact that the heavenly housemates have been watching the hell housemates’ Big Brother intro videos. So basically it’s taken over 50 days for them to work out what we’ve all known from day one – that they’re all a bunch of stinking ninnies.

So who’ll win Big Brother this year? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Stuart, Rachel, Mikey and Rex, with help from Paddy Power…

Stuart - This is a big week for Stuart – he’s head of the Big Brother house! That means, um, that means… oh alright, that doesn’t actually mean anything at all, judging by Darnell and Dale’s stints as Big Brother house-heads. But at least it means that Stuart gets to act out his little alpha male power fantasy for a couple of days. And you know what that means – sensitive ‘boo hoo I miss the daughter I chose to neglect for two months of minor TV fame’ Stuart gets to take a back seat to the arrogant, strutting, only-interested-in-himself wanker that Stuart’s been cack-handedly trying to suppress since day one of Big Brother. Still, on the bright side, Stuart’s bound to infuriate so many people as head of the Big Brother house that he’s a dead cert for next week’s nominations. And you know what to do if that happens, right kids? Current Big Brother betting odds – 20/1

Rachel - Seriously, is Rachel being edited unfairly or something? Right from the start of Big Brother, a huge swathe of the housemates have violently taken against Rachel, but for the life of us we haven’t been able to work out why. True, she does talk a lot – actually that’s an understatement, Rachel never cocking shuts up – but she does appear to get on with everyone, at least. And yet people genuinely dislike her. The thought of the Big Brother bullies breaking Rachel’s spirit actually worries us quite a lot, you know – partly because she’s sort of adorably puppyish all the time, and partly because we’ve been looking forward to breaking Rachel’s spirit after she’s been evicted. Those bloody Big Brother housemates get all the fun! Damn them all! Current Big Brother betting odds – 14/1

Mikey – Mikey is walking, breathing proof that you can take away a Scotsman’s eyesight but nothing you can ever do will take away his inbuilt predilection for whining all the time about everything in a pointlessly annoying voice. And the British public – or at least the minuscule speck of it that still watches Big Brother – seems to be slowly cottoning on to what a mingey old wanker Mikey actually is, judging by the way his betting odds have dropped off in the last few weeks. The Big Brother housemates are still caught up in the whole ‘trying not to look like bastard by nominating the disabled guy’ thing, so Mikey’s going to be safe inside the Big Brother house for a good while yet. But if Mikey actually wins Big Brother we’ll do whatever the nonvisual alternative to eating a hat is. Listening to a hat? If Mikey wins Big Brother we’ll listen to a hat. Then he’ll be sorry. Current Big Brother betting odds – 11/1

Rex – Calling the remaining Big Brother housemates a bad bunch would be a horrible insult to bad bunches. The remaining Big Brother housemates are a cripplingly shit bunch of woefully dull titfaces who couldn’t be even slightly entertaining if you dressed them all up as clowns and paid a crocodile to chase them around. So, with that lengthy proviso out of the way, we can say that we’re starting to see Rex as a dark horse to win Big Brother. Of late he’s started to emerge as the malevolent leader of the Big Brother house – he speaks a lot of sense, but he’s completely unable to stop himself from lobbing insults at the rest of the housemates just for the hell of it. Not only is it the closest thing to entertainment at the moment, but we’re starting to think that Rex would make a semi-decent hecklerspray writer too. We’d beat him up after about an hour because he’s obviously a terrible cunt, but hey. Current Big Brother betting odds – 6/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Dale, Darnell, Luke and Kat. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.