This is serious – we want you to sit down, breathe in and out and brace yourself for the worst. Ready?

It’s Sam Fox. She’s been bitten by a cat. But not just any cat – Sam Fox has been bitten by a cat that might have rabies. That’s dangerous – if Sam Fox caught rabies, then there’d be a very real chance of her biting and infecting some of the other big name she gets to mingle with. Imagine it – Dean Gaffney, David Van Day, Wee Jimmy Krankie, the third girl from the right in the second to last Envirofone advert, all with rabies. Nightmarish.

Luckily, Sam Fox is now undergoing rabies treatment. So that’s good news. Or news. Alright, in actual fact it barely even counts as news. Shut up.