Articles tagged with: Quit
As everybody knows, although onscreen Grey's Anatomy can be almost fatally tedious, off-screen Grey's Anatomy is brilliant. You want a comparison? OK. Onscreen, the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy revolved around a bunch of doctors wondering who'd be asked to perform some surgery on a patient. For approximately the billionth time. But off-screen? Off-screen the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy revolved around dollop-faced actor TR Knight throwing the mother of all strops and walking off the show because nobody's giving him the attention that he obviously deserves. See - which one would you watch? Oh, neither? Actually, us too.
Team Aniston, it's time to get the bunting out; your girl has won - Angelina Jolie has decided to retire from acting. True, Angelina Jolie may have only hinted at an eventual retirement some time in the future, and only because fame no longer provides the same spiritual nourishment as raising a family or being committed to charitable work. Nevertheless, the message is clear - Angelina Jolie is quitting acting because Jennifer Aniston called her uncool this week. Great, that's just what we need - a power-crazed Jennifer Aniston. Now that she knows what can happen when she deploys the word 'uncool', we doubt very much that she'll stop at Angelina Jolie. All we'll say is this - don't be surprised if Vince Vaughn suddenly decides to retire from acting as well or if, you know, Brad Pitt develops a horrible wasting disease on his penis. Or something.
Over the last few years David Tennant has firmly established himself as the most irritatingly wacky gonk-faced Doctor Who ever. But all good things have to come to an end at some point, and that's why David Tennant yesterday confirmed everyone's worst fears - he's making four more Doctor Who specials. No, that's not it. We meant to say that after making his four Doctor Who specials, David Tennant is going to leave Doctor Who. It was a sad announcement, and it's left Doctor Who fans profoundly upset. But at the same time, the news has also kickstarted speculation over who'll become the next Doctor Who. Finding an actor who can encapsulate David Tennant's bravery, enthusiasm and range of zany facial expressions won't be too hard, though, and we hear that fictional 1980s cartoon puppy Scrappy Doo is top of everyone's wishlist.
We have some unbearably sad news for you - well, some unbearably sad news if you happened to like We Own The Night, anyway. No? Nobody liked that film? OK, well we have some unbearably sad news if you happened to like Reservation Road. What? None of you liked that either? The Village? Ladder 49? Signs? Brother Bear? Nothing? You didn't like any of them? What about 8MM, for crying out loud? Everyone liked 8MM, right? No? Christ, alright, look. What we're trying to tell you is that Joaquin Phoenix has decided to quit acting forever. But before you start shrugging, bear this in mind - Joaquin Phoenix has quit acting so that he can focus on his music career. That sound you can hear right now? That's the sound of your soul groaning.
Quick! Stop what you’re doing. If you thought the biggest announcement of the year was that time travelling thing that'd tell us the secrets of the universe, you’re wrong! We’ve got something much more important to tell you, something that will cause the world's population to sigh in unison. It's James Blunt. He might write all sorts of songs that get used in chick flicks, love albums and as a weapon to torture terror suspects, but this could soon stop. You see, James Blunt has promised to sew his mouth shut for the right amount of money. Or never step foot in a recording studio again, at least.
A million quid a year. Look at that number again. A million. That's £83,300 a month. £19,230 a week. £3,846 a day. And that what Carol Vorderman earnt on Countdown. That's Countdown, mind you - the mid-afternoon Channel 4 gameshow watched exclusively by ironic students and the infirm. A million quid for sticking bits of card on a wall and pretending to find Des O'Connor amusing. Still, it's a million quid she won't be getting any more. Carol Vorderman has quit Countdown, you see, claiming that her bosses demanded that she took a 90% pay cut. And, insulted, Carol Vorderman has taken to just about every newspaper on the face of the earth to bitch about the injustice. On the plus side, at least now Carol Vorderman will be best known for being greedy and vindictive instead of for thinking she's about 500 times more attractive than she actually is. That's a step up.
Listen, we don't know how to tell you this - it's as much of a shock to us as it will be to you - but Alan Sugar, he's... he's gone.
Dead? No, of course he's not dead. But Sir Alan Sugar has stepped down as chairman of his company Amstrad after 40 years. That means that all those wonderful jokes about the crappy-looking, pointlessly impractical email telephones he hawked so mercilessly during the first few seasons of The Apprentice are all worthless now. Really, he may as well be dead.
Anyway, even though he's left Amstrad, Sir Alan Sugar's still going to be the terrifying boss figure on The Apprentice. However, there's bound to be some changes - those taking part in next year's Apprentice will now be battling for a prestigious £100k a year job keeping watch for the rozzers while Sir Alan flogs boxes of unsold email phones from the back of a van in an MFI car park.
When summer comes thundering round, we all know what it’s set to bring - ice cream, crappy weather and another soul-sapping series of Big Brother.
In the beginning, Big Brother was a crazy experiment which for once didn’t involve cutting people open or giving them drugs which would result in the growth of an extra eye. Instead, it was set to monitor the results of living in a controlled human environment. Or as most viewers interpreted it, a chance to maybe see some people have sex. But as time has gone on, the experimental phase has vanished and contestants have used Big Brother as a platform to launch a career. None are ever successful and, brilliantly for us, we get to see them crash and burn.
It’s now the turn of Chanelle Hayes.
