It’s always incredibly realistic in soapsville, with characters suffering incredibly similar fates to us television watching plebs. Think about it. On your street, there’s been thousands of murderous affairs and trams crashing into factories. They should be called documentaries really.

And over at Eastenders, it’s wedding time for love’s young (and depressingly damp) dream Tamwar and Afia this week! Yes, the wedding which has dragged on for at least 17 years, is finally going ahead but not before that Yusef ?fella ?has one last attempt at being sneaky and dastardly in order to win back the love of Zainab.

Tamwar?decides?to grow a pair and tells Zainab that he wants Masood at the wedding and Zainab agrees saying it would raise questions if he wasn’t there. ?Questions like ‘Where’s Masood?’ we’re guessing. Yusef invites Christian and Syed to the wedding but then he goes and spoils it all by saying something stupid like; ‘Shut up about being gay and having children’ making perpetually tormented Syed take the huff….BUT THEN Zainab invites them both giving the nation hope that they might see Syed backflip one more time.