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Quantum Of Solace

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty

El goodo and bado. Folded: Big name celebrities on meth! (check ‘em out!) Conan the Barbarian Special Edition on DVD for £3 (totally worth it for Arnie’s commentary: “How did I get billing over James Earl Jones?”) Those loveable brothel ladies from the W.I (they did have fun with the working girls in Nevada, didn’t [...]

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Jack White & Alicia Keys Do Weirdest-Ever James Bond Theme

by Stuart Heritage

Oh, we’re so disappointed. The Bond theme for Quantum of Solace has been announced, and it’s not even called Quantum of Solace.

How rubbish is that? We’d even written a demo called Quantum Of Solace in case we were asked – it goes “Hello there, I’m a quantum of solace/ I want to buy a blouse, can you direct me to Wallis?” – but no. You had to go and call the Quantum of Solace theme Another Way To Die, didn’t you.

Also, the Quantum of Solace theme tune is going to be a duet between Alicia Keys and Jack White from The White Stripes, so it’s bound to sound like an angry little witch trapped in an upturned metal dustbin. And Alicia Keys, naturally. Just so you know.

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VIDEO: Ooh, There’s A Quantum Of Solace Teaser-Blip Online

by Stuart Heritage

You might have been wondering what the new James Bond move A Quantum Of Solace will be like – surely it can’t be as bad as the title, right?

Well, get ready to find out. The first footage from A Quantum Of Solace has appeared online, and it gives a dead-on indication of what the finished movie will be like – it’ll be ten seconds long and mostly about James Bond trying to kick a man’s jaw off.

OK, so the online footage of A Quantum of Solace isn’t particularly revelatory – in fact watching it feels a little bit like listening to a toddler’s breathless description of a petrol station blowing up – but we do have the video after the jump, and it’s not something that any ADD sufferers who haven’t got bored of endless parkour scenes in movies yet will want to miss.

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James Bond Knackers His Car In A Lake

by Stuart Heritage

Don’t worry if you can’t stand the fact that the new James Bond movie is called A Quantum Of Solace – turns out that God’s not such a fan of it either.

That’s because, just a few weeks after a crazy South American mayor drove his car through a set during filming in a vicious rage, a James Bond stuntman has accidentally plunged a £120,000 Aston Martin off a road into a massive Italian lake and knackered the bastard to pieces.

What’s more, it’s been reported that the Aston Martin was the only one available to the crew for the film. That leaves A Quantum Of Solace in a bit of a quandary – it could shell out for a new one at huge expense to the movie, or it could patch together a workaround. Which isn’t too bad, because frankly we’ve waited too long to see 007 bring down SPECTRE with aSegway, some rollerblades, an Oyster card and a hotwired forklift truck.

Don't worry if you can't stand the fact that the new James Bond movie is called A Quantum Of Solace - turns out that God's not such a fan of it either. That's because, just a few weeks after a crazy South American mayor drove his car through a set during filming in a vicious rage, a James Bond stuntman has accidentally plunged a £120,000 Aston Martin off a road into a massive Italian lake and knackered the bastard to pieces. What's more, it's been reported that the Aston Martin was the only one available to the crew for the film. That leaves A Quantum Of Solace in a bit of a quandary - it could shell out for a new one at huge expense to the movie, or it could patch together a workaround. Which isn't too bad, because frankly we've waited too long to see 007 bring down SPECTRE with aSegway, some rollerblades, an Oyster card and a hotwired forklift truck.
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Crazy Mayor Tries To Run Down James Bond

by Stuart Heritage

British mayors have the best job in the world – getting paid to wear some Mr T-style bling while women’s institute members give you slices of cake? How is that not brilliant?

But Chilean mayors have it even better. Not only do they get the requisite bling/cake combo – we assume – but they also get to try and mow down iconic movie characters in their mayoral 4×4. On purpose.

Don’t believe us? Then look at Carlos Lopez, mayor of Baquedano. He’s been arrested for driving a car at James Bond star Daniel Craig during a scene as some form of protest. Lopez was either protesting about the heavy-handed nature of the Bond crew during filming or because he just thinks that A Quantum Of Solace is a really, really shitty name. Either way – mad props, you mental South American public official.

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Al Pacino Gets To Be The Shoutiest Ever James Bond Villain

by Stuart Heritage

Think that A Quantum Of Solace is a crappy name for a James Bond title? Perhaps it’ll make more sense when it’s bellowed by a 67-year-old shouting midget with no real sense of subtlety.

You guessed it – Al Pacino is going to star in the new James Bond movie A Quantum Of Solace.

Thank God for that – after spending weeks fretting over the quality of the new James Bond film, it looks like all our fears were misplaced. Now that Al Pacino has signed up for a role in A Quantum Of Solace, we’re confident that it’ll be at least as good as Ocean’s Thirteen. Phew, right?

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You! Write The New James Bond Theme!

by Stuart Heritage

You heard right – there’s a competition to write the theme-tune to the new James Bond.

Relax, nobody wants you to write the theme-tune to new James Bond film A Quantum Of Solace – the least rhymable 007 movie since 1977′s The Spy Who Loved Oranges – but the new James Bond book Devil May Care. Interested? Then read what we’ve just been sent:

Musicians and James Bond fans across Britain have the rare chance to be a part of 007′s iconic history as Penguin announces its search for the theme tune to Devil May Care, the eagerly awaited new Bond novel written by Sebastian Faulks. From today visitors to uk.myspace.com/devilmaycarebook have the chance to create an original piece of music for the new Bond book which is published on 28th May, the centenary of Ian Fleming’s birth. The winning track will become the book’s official theme tune and will be featured on the Devil May Care audio book, published on the same day. This will be the first theme tune to accompany a James Bond book and will later be available as a free digital download.

OK, it’s not quite as prestigious as writing the theme-tune to a James Bond film, but this is clearly an opportunity not to be missed; Devil May Care rhymes with everything. Breville-Made Hair, Level-A Bear, Dishevel Day Fair, Bevel Clay Square – see? Everything.

If you do fancy having a pop at this songwriting challenge, remember that your entries have to be in by February 25. And if you could fit in a verse about finding out about the competition on a blog called hecklerspray that can sort of be quite good every now and then, we’ll love you forever.

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Devil May Care MySpace Competition

You heard right - there's a competition to write the theme-tune to the new James Bond. Relax, nobody wants you to write the theme-tune to new James Bond film A Quantum Of Solace - the least rhymable 007 movie since 1977's The Spy Who Loved Oranges - but the new James Bond book Devil May Care. Interested? Then read what we've just been sent: Musicians and James Bond fans across Britain have the rare chance to be a part of 007's iconic history as Penguin announces its search for the theme tune to Devil May Care, the eagerly awaited new Bond novel written by Sebastian Faulks. From today visitors to uk.myspace.com/devilmaycarebook have the chance to create an original piece of music for the new Bond book which is published on 28th May, the centenary of Ian Fleming's birth. The winning track will become the book's official theme tune and will be featured on the Devil May Care audio book, published on the same day. This will be the first theme tune to accompany a James Bond book and will later be available as a free digital download. OK, it's not quite as prestigious as writing the theme-tune to a James Bond film, but this is clearly an opportunity not to be missed; Devil May Care rhymes with everything. Breville-Made Hair, Level-A Bear, Dishevel Day Fair, Bevel Clay Square - see? Everything. If you do fancy having a pop at this songwriting challenge, remember that your entries have to be in by February 25. And if you could fit in a verse about finding out about the competition on a blog called hecklerspray that can sort of be quite good every now and then, we'll love you forever. Read more: Devil May Care MySpace Competition
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Quantum Of Solace: Crap New Bond Title Revealed

by Stuart Heritage

The title of the new James Bond film has just been announced, and it’s so bad we think we might cry.

Quantum Of Solace. There. The new James Bond movie will be called Quantum Of Solace. That’s what the combined brainpower of an Oscar-winning writer, two veteran James Bond writers and a team of expert producers have come up with. Quantum Of Solace. Titting Quantum Of Solace. Christ.

Useless. Everyone knows that all James Bond movie titles should be based on a popular saying with the word ‘Die’ where the word ‘Live’ should be while containing at least one weak pun about vaginas, and this bugger doesn’t do any of that.

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