Quantum Of Solace - HecklerSpray

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

Lights on, lights off.

Folded:

Our redesign (radical)
This clip of upcoming car wank-fest Fast and Furious (?cos it's, like, mental)
Quantum of Solace on DVD (give it another chance. It’s short)
Surrendering to Twitter (even dead people are using it now)
Watchmen: The End is Nigh (simple Streets of Rage/Final Fight style fun)

Creased:

Our redesign (er, radical)
1408 (this film is worse than scalding yourself. John Cusack though, as good as ever)
Dancing on Ice (it's finished, it's done, let's never talk about it again)

There Are 24 Mistakes In Quantum Of Solace, You Know

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You know what ruined Quantum Of Solace for us? The way it was so rubbish that it made us want to shatter our cheekbone with a brick.

But you know what ruined Quantum Of Solace for other people? All the technical and factual mistakes that were littered throughout the film. In fact, movie mistake spotter Jon Sandys has listed all the mistakes in Quantum Of Solace and emailed them to us. So, after the jump, our favourite of the 24 Quantum Of Solace mistakes.

By which we were obviously referring to the 24 individual mistakes that can be found in Quantum Of Solace. Not the one big mistake where everyone working on Quantum Of Solace seemed to think they were making an episode of 24. Although that should be one of them. OK, there are 25 mistakes.

Quantum Of Solace Tops Weekend Box Office Despite Silly Name

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

It may have zero dialogue, an impenetrable plot and a man who is James Bond in name alone, but people love Quantum Of Solace.

Quantum Of Solace isn’t just the number one movie at the weekend box office this week. In fact, Quantum Of Solace is the biggest James Bond movie ever to open at the US weekend box office, taking $70 million in the process. And that proves one thing about Quantum Of Solace above anything else – people really, really like the Bourne movies.

But, hey, Quantum Of Solace features a James Bond who’s dispensed with the wit, style and panache that we’re used to seeing to become a scowling robot whose job mainly seems to involve driving speedboats through explosions and punching Frenchmen. And that’s popular in America. Who knew?

Roger Moore Gets All Stroppy About Punchy New James Bond

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You knew what you got when Roger Moore was James Bond – safari jackets, volcano HQs and women called Felicity Nobgobbler.

Not any more, though. Daniel Craig is James Bond now, so that means that when you watch a James Bond film you’re essentially getting whatever happened in the last Bourne movie, but without any of the interesting bits about amnesia.

And this has upset Roger Moore. Moore says he’s saddened by all the flashy violence in the new Daniel Craig James Bond movies, and he wishes that 007 films could be more like the ones he made. The thing is, he’s got a point – we know we’d have enjoyed Quantum Of Solace quite a lot more if all the parkour scenes starred a wheezy old man in a corset who looks like he smells of urine-soaked leather instead of Daniel Craig.

Early Reviews: Quantum Of Solace? Quantum Of Bum

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

New James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace faces an almost impossible task – could it be more well-received than Casino Royale?

It’s a tough job – because, as we all know, films don’t get any better than overlong Bourne rip-offs about a man who cries blood when he’s losing at cards – and it seems like it might have been too much of a tough job for Quantum Of Solace.

Early reviews for Quantum of Solace are starting to trickle in, and they’re all fairly scathing. But James Bond movies always tend to be a direct reaction against the previous one, so we can all relax. The follow-up to the emotionally bleak Quantum Of Solace – provisionally entitled Daniel Craig Punches A Laser-Shark In His Little Knickers – is sure to be a belter.

Daniel Craig Loves All The Abuse. Loves It

March 25th, 2009 By Chris Laverty

Currently appearing as 007 in Quantum of Solace, which by most accounts is exciting but about as much fun as a Schindler’s List theme park, Daniel Craig has taken time out to praise a new generation of Bond women. Women who will tell him to “f**k off” if he misbehaves. That’s right, “f**k off“, it’s Slovakian.

Daniel Craig isn’t exactly renowned for his song and dance demeanour. He’s a serious actor and questions about his teeny shorts in Casino Royale or why he wore a lifejacket to avoid drowning three years ago are bound to annoy him.

Plus if he decided to chase us over a building site we’d make it about as far as the Portakabin before going into cardiac arrest. We’re gonna just stick to the new movie instead.

Quantum Of Solace’s Gemma Arterton Is Crazy Deformed

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Up until now we thought that the creepiest thing about Quantum Of Solace was its title – three words so pointless it may as well be called Acorn Of Bum.

But that’s obviously not the case at all – it turns out that the creepiest thing about Quantum Of Solace is that Bond girl Gemma Arterton was born with six fingers on each hand, but presumably had the extra ones snipped off when she was a baby.

It’s a bit grim, but we love the fact that Gemma Arterton chose to reveal her genetic disfigurement as a way of promoting Quantum Of Solace. We sorely hope this marketing technique catches on, because we’d definitely go and see the new Harry Potter movie if Ron Weasley suddenly decides to tell everyone that he’s got 15 testicles and unusually long forearms.

Quantum Of Solace Spoiler: Gemma Arterton Covered In Gunk

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The new James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace is heading towards us at light speed, and spoilers are coming thick and fast.

For instance, we already know that the Quantum Of Solace theme-tune sounds a bit like a wasp farting through a megaphone, and that Quantum Of Solace has a trailer that’s basically kangaroo boxing for the A.D.D set, but what about the biggest spoiler of all – what will the initial Bond girl get covered with and die this time?

Trailers Decoded: Quantum Of Solace

September 10th, 2008 By Stuart Heritage

The forthcoming James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace doesn’t come out for a few more months, so chances are you’re literally urinating in your pants right now about it.

We’re not, but that’s because we’ve seen the new trailer for Quantum Of Solace and therefore have worked out every single moment of the movie from beginning to end with an almost perfect accuracy rate. Want us to talk you through it? Good. Here’s what we know for a fact:

*Quantum Of Solace is about James Bond violently getting revenge for a chair he bought that was quite squeaky.

Quantum of Solace Pushed Back a Week, and It’s All Harry Potter’s Fault

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Harry Potter has a lot to answer for – now he’s magically caused Quantum of Solace to be pushed back.

Not content with ruining the dreams and emotions of a billion little kids and a lot of adults who probably should know better, Daniel Radcliffe and company’s decision to move the new Harry Potter film to next summer has prompted Sony to push the upcoming James Bond flick – the one with the funny name – back.

Alright, so it’s only a week, with the film being pushed from November 7th to the 14th, but still – come on. Give us a break here.

The reason for the move was given as a simple one: ‘we want more money’. Technically not what they actually said, but ‘moving it closer to the Thanksgiving/Christmas market’ is pretty transparent when it comes to reasoning.