Articles tagged with: Publicist
Eddie Van Halen Gets Engaged To Woman Who Doesn’t Seem To Mind He’s Mostly Decomposing
If you’re a somewhat famous person who hasn’t really gotten it together in years – what you need is a good publicist. Seriously – a good publicist can do wonders for your career. They’ll get your name on marquees, they’ll make the masses forget you’re ugly and dumb, and dang it all, they’ll even marry you if that’s what it takes to sell your next album. We can’t guarantee all publicists will marry you – but Eddie Van Halen’s will. She’ll marry you in a heartbeat - even if you look kinda like you’ve been buried in a moist hill for over 200 years. It’s because she does what it takes – whatever it takes, to get you a headline or two. That’s what we assume anyway – because she just got romantically engaged to E Van Halen. Yes, she got romantically engaged to him, with plans to romantically marry him. Now that’s dedication.
If you’re a somewhat famous person who hasn’t really gotten it together in years – what you need is a good publicist. Seriously – a good publicist can do wonders for your career. They’ll get your name on marquees, they’ll make the masses forget you’re ugly and dumb, and dang it all, they’ll even marry you if that’s what it takes to sell your next album. We can’t guarantee all publicists will marry you – but Eddie Van Halen’s will. She’ll marry you in a heartbeat - even if you look kinda like you’ve been buried in a moist hill for over 200 years. It’s because she does what it takes – whatever it takes, to get you a headline or two. That’s what we assume anyway – because she just got romantically engaged to E Van Halen. Yes, she got romantically engaged to him, with plans to romantically marry him. Now that’s dedication.
