pub - HecklerSpray

Ant & Dec Ignite Vicious Turf War

March 17th, 2011 By Michael Park

LET’S GET READY TO RHUMBLE! Supposedly hilarious Geordie duo Ant and Dec have put their fists where their mouths are and challenged the entire world to a fight.

After Ant (PJ) was attacked in a pub earlier this week for allegedly insulting the presenters of OK! TV for being “lobotomised scum-weasels”, Declan Donnelly (Duncan) has come out in support of his embattled friend with unusual vigour.

The BAFTA-winning ‘cheeky’ pair who are renowned for peddling inane, mawkish drivel to ITV’s dribbling weekend audience have seen their fair share of adversity since being plucked from the ganglands of Byker Grove in the early 1990s and have been implicated in multiple incidences of arms dealing and drug smuggling as well as extortion of charities.

Front Side Of Ant McPartlin’s Face Meets Boney Part Of Man’s Hand

March 10th, 2011 By Randy Figgins

Is there anything more delightful of an evening than a beer and some unwarranted violence?? Of course not, it’s what makes us British.? Tea, banging on nostalgically about the blitz and fighting in pubs, are as quintessentially British as having Prince Charles play national anthem on a kazoo while you shave a Union Jack into your pubic hair. Rule Britannia!

Something else quintessentially British is Ant and Dec.? No other country in the world would embrace a couple of midgets from the third world (Newcastle) whose main talent seem to be that you can never figure out which is which.

Although, we’re going to have to figure it out now.

Charlotte Church Builds A Pub… And You’re Not Invited

March 23rd, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Charlotte ‘Oooh! Hasn’t She Lost Some Weight?’ Church has built a pub in her garden so, presumably, she can get dog-drunk and take a slash in a nearby hedge without fear of passing strangers throwing pint glasses at her head and singing ‘Crazy Chick’ at her whilst she farts the Welsh national anthem.

Well, that’s what we’d do if we had the chance.

Yep, the singer turned chatshow host turned baby making device isn’t happy enough with her folks owning a boozer and has built one of her own for the sake of that most precious of commodities for the sleb – privacy.

The popera singer likes to get lashed with Gavin Henson (aka Mrs Charlotte Church) but she’s pig-sick of us plebs running after her and taking pictures of her being leathered on our mobile phones. She’s got a point. Hecklerspray staff have all got a video each of Church puking up rice dyed with blue WKDs. It’s mandatory to catch your own footage if you want to work here.

Okay, that’s clearly not true.