Articles tagged with: Prostitute
15 Months In Jail For Manwhore-Chaining Boy George
Remember how Boy George once cameoed on The A-Team, a show about men jailed for a crime they didn't commit? Well now Boy George has more in common with them than ever. Because he too has been jailed for a crime that... oh no, wait, Boy George did chain that Norwegian prostitute up and threaten to kill him, didn't he? In that case, ignore everything we just said. Boy George has been sentenced to 15 month in jail for falsely imprisoning a manwhore. Logic states that he'll be out in seven for good behaviour, but reality states that he probably won't because he's a dickhead.
Remember how Boy George once cameoed on The A-Team, a show about men jailed for a crime they didn't commit? Well now Boy George has more in common with them than ever. Because he too has been jailed for a crime that... oh no, wait, Boy George did chain that Norwegian prostitute up and threaten to kill him, didn't he? In that case, ignore everything we just said. Boy George has been sentenced to 15 month in jail for falsely imprisoning a manwhore. Logic states that he'll be out in seven for good behaviour, but reality states that he probably won't because he's a dickhead.
Boy George Guilty Of Chaining Up That Whore Of His
Bald, fat, previously androgynous 1980s homosexual popstars, let this be a lesson - no beating up manwhores with a chain. We're being serious. It doesn't go down well at all. Boy George, king of the bald, fat, previously androgynous 1980s homosexual popstars, has been found guilty of handcuffing a Norwegian male prostitute to a wall, beating him with a chain and threatening to kill him, and now he's probably going to jail for it. It just goes to show - never copy Boy George. It was true when you decided to decided to grow those nasty white-boy dreadlocks and it's true now.
Bald, fat, previously androgynous 1980s homosexual popstars, let this be a lesson - no beating up manwhores with a chain. We're being serious. It doesn't go down well at all. Boy George, king of the bald, fat, previously androgynous 1980s homosexual popstars, has been found guilty of handcuffing a Norwegian male prostitute to a wall, beating him with a chain and threatening to kill him, and now he's probably going to jail for it. It just goes to show - never copy Boy George. It was true when you decided to decided to grow those nasty white-boy dreadlocks and it's true now.
Boy George: “OK, I Did Chain That Norwegian Manwhore Up”
Remember when that male prostitute said Boy George chained him to a wall, hit him and threatened to kill him? Well, turns out it's true. Partially - Boy George has admitted that he did handcuff Audun Carlsen up, and that he did hit him a bit, but only consensually. But Boy George swears that he wasn't going to kill him, because a dead manwhore wouldn't be great for his career. Remember, Boy George once painted his jaw black and pretended to be David Bowie on Celebrity Stars In Their Eyes, so he obviously knows a great career move when he sees one.
Remember when that male prostitute said Boy George chained him to a wall, hit him and threatened to kill him? Well, turns out it's true. Partially - Boy George has admitted that he did handcuff Audun Carlsen up, and that he did hit him a bit, but only consensually. But Boy George swears that he wasn't going to kill him, because a dead manwhore wouldn't be great for his career. Remember, Boy George once painted his jaw black and pretended to be David Bowie on Celebrity Stars In Their Eyes, so he obviously knows a great career move when he sees one.
Remember The Spitzer Whore? What Does She Think About Stuff?
Kids, if you ever want to be famous, don't forget the importance of having sex with high-ranking government officials for cash. That's what Ashley Dupré did, and it's been the making of her. Since being named as the prostitute who led to the downfall of former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, Ashley Dupré has become a megastar. She can't even leave her house anymore without people recognising her and shouting encouraging messages like "I know you! You're that whore!" and "Hey Little Miss Grubbyknickers! Here's some money! Eat this!" In fact Ashley Dupré is now so famous that she's got her own episode of 20/20 coming up where she gets to reveal that she doesn't feel responsible for Eliot Spitzer's resignation, the emotions she experienced as the scandal unfolded and the way that she feels 'connected' to Eliot Spitzer's wife - which we think might be code for crabs or syphilis or something, though we couldn't say for certain.
Kids, if you ever want to be famous, don't forget the importance of having sex with high-ranking government officials for cash. That's what Ashley Dupré did, and it's been the making of her. Since being named as the prostitute who led to the downfall of former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, Ashley Dupré has become a megastar. She can't even leave her house anymore without people recognising her and shouting encouraging messages like "I know you! You're that whore!" and "Hey Little Miss Grubbyknickers! Here's some money! Eat this!" In fact Ashley Dupré is now so famous that she's got her own episode of 20/20 coming up where she gets to reveal that she doesn't feel responsible for Eliot Spitzer's resignation, the emotions she experienced as the scandal unfolded and the way that she feels 'connected' to Eliot Spitzer's wife - which we think might be code for crabs or syphilis or something, though we couldn't say for certain.
Kerry Katona Definitely Not A Prostitute, OK?
Kerry Katona might whore herself out for reality TV shows and adverts for frozen prawn rings, but never for sex with men - and now that's super-official! Yesterday Kerry Katona won five-figure damages from The Sunday Mirror after it claimed that her mother was about to write a book claiming that Kerry was a massive prostitute before she became famous. Which obviously isn't true for a number of reasons. Firstly, anyone who'd consider buying a book by Kerry Katona's mum about how Kerry Katona was a hooker is obviously stupid to the point of illiteracy, which tends not to be a good demographic to market books to. Secondly, and most importantly, Kerry Katona can't have been a prostitute because most men would rather attack their own genitals with a claw-hammer than pay Kerry Katona cash to touch them with her hands or mouth.
Kerry Katona might whore herself out for reality TV shows and adverts for frozen prawn rings, but never for sex with men - and now that's super-official! Yesterday Kerry Katona won five-figure damages from The Sunday Mirror after it claimed that her mother was about to write a book claiming that Kerry was a massive prostitute before she became famous. Which obviously isn't true for a number of reasons. Firstly, anyone who'd consider buying a book by Kerry Katona's mum about how Kerry Katona was a hooker is obviously stupid to the point of illiteracy, which tends not to be a good demographic to market books to. Secondly, and most importantly, Kerry Katona can't have been a prostitute because most men would rather attack their own genitals with a claw-hammer than pay Kerry Katona cash to touch them with her hands or mouth.
Ashley Dupré To Get Her Own Trollopish Reality TV Show
Ashley Dupré doesn't just get to have tawdry, regret-filled sex with every ugly old man that offers her cash any more, as if that wasn't enough. No, now Ashley Dupré gets to be on TV because of it as well, the lucky cow. Although up until now she was most famous for being the high-end prostitute who had sex with New York Governor Eliot Spitzer until he had to resign because of it, Ashley Dupré is apparently in talks to star in her own reality TV show. Honestly, she is. As yet nobody seems to know if Ashley Dupré will star in a Simple Life-style fly-on-the-wall reality TV show or a Tila Tequila-style dating show, but at the moment the latter seems to be out in front. Quite right too, because that's the only way that they'll ever get to use the title Ashley Dupré: Who Wants Me To Kiss Them With The Same Mouth I Recently Had Wrapped Around A Bald Old Man's Penis For Cash?
Ashley Dupré doesn't just get to have tawdry, regret-filled sex with every ugly old man that offers her cash any more, as if that wasn't enough. No, now Ashley Dupré gets to be on TV because of it as well, the lucky cow. Although up until now she was most famous for being the high-end prostitute who had sex with New York Governor Eliot Spitzer until he had to resign because of it, Ashley Dupré is apparently in talks to star in her own reality TV show. Honestly, she is. As yet nobody seems to know if Ashley Dupré will star in a Simple Life-style fly-on-the-wall reality TV show or a Tila Tequila-style dating show, but at the moment the latter seems to be out in front. Quite right too, because that's the only way that they'll ever get to use the title Ashley Dupré: Who Wants Me To Kiss Them With The Same Mouth I Recently Had Wrapped Around A Bald Old Man's Penis For Cash?
Boy George Banned From US, Imprisoned Manwhores Partially To Blame
There's an old saying that goes 'An Englishman's home is his castle, and if he ever wants to imprison a Scandinavian male prostitute in his castle against his wishes then that's probably OK'.
But sadly it seems like America, the so-called land of the free, has got some issues about people chaining male prostitutes to their walls and vaguely insulting them for a bit. Just ask Boy George.
Boy George is just about to set off on a tour of America, except that now he can't get a visa because of his upcoming prostitute-chaining trial. Not that Boy George should worry too much, though. We know for a fact that there are plenty of other countries who'll give you visas no matter how many terrified manwhores you've chained up to a wall in your sordid little sex dungeon. Um, we read that in a book or something once. Ahem.
Spitzer’s Whore Sues Girls Gone Wild For All Sorts Of Cash
We've got nothing but sympathy for Ashley Dupre - after all, who hasn't performed sexual acts on a high-ranking politician for cash these days? And if a scandal about you being a massive whore with a slightly gross-looking New York governor isn't bad enough, the inevitable follow-up story about the way you took your clothes off for a teen-exploiting series of softcore videos is just utterly degrading. That's why we're fully behind Ashley Alexandra's decision to sue Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis for $10 million because he quickly released a 2003 video of her flashing her breasts in the wake of the scandal as a money-making enterprise. She's completely correct - if she didn't chase Joe Francis for cash, then what kind of filthy prostitute would Ashley Dupre be? A shit one, that's what.
We've got nothing but sympathy for Ashley Dupre - after all, who hasn't performed sexual acts on a high-ranking politician for cash these days? And if a scandal about you being a massive whore with a slightly gross-looking New York governor isn't bad enough, the inevitable follow-up story about the way you took your clothes off for a teen-exploiting series of softcore videos is just utterly degrading. That's why we're fully behind Ashley Alexandra's decision to sue Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis for $10 million because he quickly released a 2003 video of her flashing her breasts in the wake of the scandal as a money-making enterprise. She's completely correct - if she didn't chase Joe Francis for cash, then what kind of filthy prostitute would Ashley Dupre be? A shit one, that's what.
