Yeah, life sure is funny. Well, sure enough, that is exactly what happened to Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon Church, in 1827.

So naturally, you ask, what might Tom Hanks have to say about all this? Well, as it turns out, plenty, or now nothing, or, hell, here it is…

During a recent L.A. premiere for his now ironically-named HBO series Big Love, producer Hanks blew a head valve over the ‘Un-American’ Prop-8 party-poopers who chose not to support the rights of gay Californians to roger each other up the wazoo:

“The truth is these people are some bizarre offshoot of the Mormon Church, and the truth is a lot of Mormons gave a lot of money to the church to make Prop-8 happen.”

Not cool, Tom. This is the age of Obama, remember?

Sensing that he had offended the thousands of movie-going yet vacant-eyed followers of Smith (a man who, by the way, spent much of his early years gazing at his ‘seer stone’ in the bottom of his white stovepipe hat in order to locate hidden treasures), Hanks, with his balls to the wall, quickly issued the following statement to People magazine:

“Last week, I labeled members of the Mormon church who supported California’s Proposition 8 as “un-American.” I believe Proposition 8 is counter to the promise of our Constitution; it is codified discrimination. But everyone has a right to vote their conscience – nothing could be more American. To say members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who contributed to Proposition 8 are “un-American” creates more division when the time calls for respectful disagreement. No one should use “un- American” lightly or in haste. I did. I should not have.”

Tom Hanks. What an arsehat.

[story by McG]

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But, yes, Wanda Sykes is gay. Sykes came out this weekend at a gay rally in Las Vegas this weekend, possibly as a reaction to news that Proposition 8 was supposedly voted through on the African American vote, or possibly just because Wanda Sykes knows that California’s lawmakers are huge fans of her films Evan Almighty and My Super-Ex Girlfriend and thought she could influence them by being gay.

But let’s look at the big picture here – Wanda Sykes is gay. That means we’re either going to have to strike her off our list of potential wives or grow a vagina. And, since we quite liked Wanda Sykes’ voice work on Brother Bear 2, it looks like we’ll be spending the next few months with our willy in a propagator, willing it to develop a labia or something. We don’t really know how it works.

Women, you have finally achieved equality. For too long, it’s only been men who’ve had a late-blooming ethnic minority homosexual celebrity in their midst, and George Takei has done a wonderful job of representing them. But meanwhile, women had been kept in the dark – until now.

Because now 44-year-old Wanda Sykes has levelled the playing field by coming out as gay, too. She’s just like George Takei, except she’s black, her genitals look different and she doesn’t describe everything as ‘delicious’ in a confusingly creepy way all the time.

Anyway, Wanda Sykes – from The New Adventures Of Old Christine and consistently the funniest thing in every episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm she’s ever been in – decided to publicly come out in a Las Vegas rally protesting about the passing of Proposition 8 in California on election day. People reports:

“I’m proud to be a black woman, and I’m proud to be gay… If we had equal rights, we shouldn’t have to be standing out here demanding something that we automatically should have as citizens of this country. I said, ‘You know what, now I gotta get in your face.’ And that’s what we have to do now. They have pissed off the wrong group of people!”

You hear this, powers that be? Either you take action and overturn Proposition 8 now or else it won’t just be Wanda Sykes who comes out as gay, it’ll be every single supporting cast member from every single middling sitcom you can think of. Today it’s Wanda Sykes, but tomorrow it might be Kevin Dunn from Samantha Who. And then the slobby brother from My Name Is Earl. And then Neil Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother. Is that what you want, powers that be? Do you want Neil Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother to suddenly turn gay? Well, do you?

Still, if Wanda Sykes has found happiness in her life, then we sincerely wish her well. And, as upset as she might be about Proposition 8, you have to admit that her coming out is a positive sign that progress is being made.

After all, when Jodie Foster came out nobody cared because everyone already knew she was gay. But now that Wanda Sykes has come out, nobody cares because they just don’t care. That’s progress.

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But now in our modern society, MTV has changed and only offers programming that really has nothing to do with music. Well, Tim Westwood does play records we guess.

One of the most popular shows is The Hills. A reality show where we get to compare our own grim lives to those of some trendy twentysomething spoilt tits. Known for being a bit dim, Spencer from the show has decided to open his gob and speak about Proposition 8, the big hot topic in California at the moment. Remember, we did say he’s known for being a bit dim.

Without going into the subject too much, the passing of Proposition 8 has stopped gay and lesbians from marrying each other. While America voted in Barack Obama last week, this was also being contested in the Californian state. It’s also something that every celebrity seems to have a view on. Some are for it, and some are against it and want gay and lesbians burnt at the stake like it’s the Middle Ages.

Just like on X Factor the other week, it appears that not enough people bothered to vote for what they wanted, and their chance stop the ban on same-sex couples marriage rights was scuppered. Unlike X Factor, thousands of people joined in protest to try and overturn the ruling, but it’s looking increasingly likely that their efforts are going to be wasted. However, Barack Obama seems to be everyone’s friend so he’ll make it up to everyone by simply waving his magic presidential puppy around to make everyone happy and jolly so they can skip off in to the distance holding hands.

But until then we have to put up with Spencer Pratt from The Hills and his wonderful opinions on the matter.

While filming a typically wooden scripted scene for The Hills, Spencer decided to let the world know what we thought about Proposition 8. He doesn’t seem to have any burning hatred for gays and lesbians but what he said doesn’t really sound right:

“Like I’ve always said: Heidi’s hair and makeup people are some of my favorite homosexuals on the planet, and if they want to marry each other, I’m not about to be like don’t.”

At least we now know why Heidi looks so, er, glamorous. The key to eternal beauty is to get your slap put on by a gay man or lesbian lady! Genius. Now to open a salon employing only homosexual people. We’ll have queues round the corner so people can get pampered to the max.

Despite California banning gay marriage, we can offer one solution to help solve the problem. They can simply skip over the state border and do it somewhere else, print off a marriage certificate off the internet or come over to good old Blighty.

The UK is a hip and trendy place and will let you marry anyone at all. Be it a man, woman, brick wall or a tree. Everyone spreads their love everyday in the form of a daily cuddle.

And Steven Spielberg has a lot to thank the gay community for – it’s a scientific fact that the only people who’ve actually paid to see a Steven Spielberg film in the last five years are gay, whether they’ll admit it to themselves or not.

So it goes without saying that Steven Spielberg was only too happy to financially support the fight against Proposition 8, the amendment to California law that will ban the recently unbanned act of gay marriage. Spielberg has donated $100,000 to the cause. If it succeeds, every gay couple in California will be lining up to thank Steven Spielberg for his time and support. And if he fails, at least he’ll be able to say he tried. Either way – cocktails!

California has a lot to learn when it comes to accepting gay marriage. We’ve had it for years in the UK and, if anything, it’s just made the public more accepting of homosexuality. Elton John’s a prime example. Thanks to his marriage to David Furnish, the British have learnt that not all gay people mince around screeching flamboyantly at everything – some of them can be fat bald miserable arseholes as well.

And California was well on its way to learning this – when it legalised civil unions between same-sex couples earlier this year, everyone from Ellen DeGeneres to Mr Sulu rushed forward to get married. And guess what – the sky didn’t fall in.

Admittedly the sky did make a gruffly noncommittal noise about being OK with it but reserving the right to fall in if all these gays kept shoving it in its face all the time, but other than that things have been fine.

That could all change in November, though. That’s when Proposition 8 kicks in – a line on a ballot that could effectively ban gay marriage once again. So far Brad Pitt has thrown his support behind the fight to stop Proposition 8, and now he’s been joined by Steven Spielberg, who’s matched Pitt’s donation of $100,000. In his accompanying statement, Steven Spielberg said:

“By writing discrimination into our state constitution, Proposition 8 seeks to eliminate the right of each and every citizen in our state to marry regardless of sexual orientation. Such discrimination has NO place in California’s constitution, or any other.”

Despite Steven Spielberg’s donation, the fight is still on to match the $16 million total that the pro-Proposition 8 supporters have thus far raised. Although God knows where that money’s going – presumably a series of television adverts featuring gay couples and the tagline ‘Urgh, Two Blokes Kissing? I’m Not Having That? Can You Imagine It? Can You Imagine Another Man Sticking His Thing Up Your Bum? That Tingling Sensation I’m Feeling In My Balls Is Disgust, By The Way. I’m Not Into It’.

And that hardly rolls off the tongue, does it?

Anyway, what we want to know is this – while Steven Spielberg and the rest of California is squabbling over Proposition 8, they’re letting a much bigger fish slip through their fingers. We’re talking, of course, about Propositon 11.

‘Independent commission to draw legislative district boundaries’? Christ, we think we’ve actually thrown up inside our own mouths.

And now the gay community needs Brad Pitt more than ever. Remember how the gay marriage ban was overturned in California recently? Well, that might be overturned soon, and the gay community is worried about the proposed overturn of the overturn. That’s why Brad Pitt has donated $100,000 to fight the overturn. Not because he’s sensitive to gay issues, but because he’s sick of everyone saying the word ‘overturn’ all the poxy time.

So, having fixed Africa, New Orleans and now civil unions between homosexuals, Brad Pitt can move onto tackling his most serious issue yet – the way that sometimes you buy a CD and the teeth that are supposed to hold the CD in place have broken and the CD slides about all over the place. We’re with you all the way, Brad.

Brad Pitt has long been a supporter of gay marriage. Well, actually we say that but we have our doubts.

Why? Because Brad Pitt famously once said that he’d only marry Angelina Jolie when all the gay people in America were allowed to get married. That sounds sensitive but it’s actually just a polite way of saying that he doesn’t want to get married to Angelina Jolie at all.

We know this because we’ve tried that tactic as well. But then gay marriage got legalised in the UK soon afterwards and we had to quickly make something up about not wanting to get married because of the offensive way that the government still hasn’t passed a law allowing kittens to get married to lampshades. Incidentally, that line’s yours if you want it, Brad.

Anyway, maybe Brad Pitt is more sensitive to the needs of the gay community than we’re giving him credit for, because he’s just donated $100,000 to fight Proposition 8, an initiative to re-ban the recently unbanned gay marriage in California. E! Online reports:

“Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn’t harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8,” the Burn After Reading star said in a statement.

“By the way,” the statement continued, “in my new movie I play a fitness instructor and there are totally loads of scenes of me jogging around in hardly any clothes. I did that for you, gays.”

It’s a nice move, but it’s unlikely to make a difference. Brad Pitt’s donation has put the anti-Proposition 8 fund total up to $11.1 million, but the pro-Proposition 8 movement has so far raised a much more impressive $16.6 million. Since this matter will ultimately be judged on which side can buy the most ostentatiously large yacht, it looks like Brad Pitt’s quest might be doomed.

But why is Brad Pitt so keen on keeping gay marriage in California? It’s simple – if gay marriage is banned then George Takei won’t be married any more and will have to return all his wedding gifts. And Brad Pitt would much rather pay $100,000 than see that kitschy ironic 12-foot fibreglass statue of a flamingo ever again.