It’s been a while since a hopelessly opportunistic lowest common denominator horror movie reached the top of the weekend box office, but Prom Night has sorted all that out.

As far as we’re able to tell, Prom Night is a scary movie about a bunch of insufferable teens who get all dressed up for a posh party, only for an escaped lunatic to chop them all into pieces in graphic disgusting detail one by one.

So congratulations to Prom Night for getting to the top of the US weekend box office, although we can’t help thinking that the movie would have been even more successful if it had listened to our idea and called itself The My Super Sweet 16 Wish-Fulfilment Movie.

What the hell is it with this sudden desire to reimagine old Jamie Lee Curtis horror movies? After the remake of The Fog and Rob Zombie’s Halloween did so well, now a remake of her 1980 movie Prom Night has made it to the top of the weekend box office.

What’s next, that’s what we want to know. After all, if three of her remade movies can get to the top of the weekend box office, then what’s stopping a remake of Terror Train from doing the same? Or a remake of Roadgames? Or a gory new version of A Fish Called Wanda starring three people from The Hills and Kevin Federline as the fish? Make it happen, Hollywood. Here’s this week’s US weekend box office top five…

1 - Prom Night (Thank god Prom Night isn’t a British remake – it’d be called School Disco for a start and, if memory serves us correct, the inclusion of a rampaging lunatic murderer would be nothing more than a sweet sweet relief) $22,700,000

2 - Street Kings (Well done Forest Whitaker. When most people win Oscars they try and push themselves to hone their talents exclusively in high-minded and challenging pieces of cinema. But you? Vantage Point, an episode of ER and a movie about Keanu Reeves being a confused policeman that co-stars the skinny one from Fry And Laurie. Full marks) $12,000,000

3 - 21 (Three weeks in the weekend box office top three? Why, 21 is now the most successful movie about maths since Dora The Explorer And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skulls) $11,000,000

4 - Nim’s Island (We can’t work out whether Jodie Foster starring in a goofy kid’s movie about a magical island is more or less likely to make berserk stalkers try and commit massive acts of terrorism in her name. More, probably – after all, ‘Nim’s Island’ is an anagram of ‘Slam Din Sin’ and if that’s not a coded taunt to stalkers we don’t know what is) $9,000,000

5 - Leatherheads (A 51% drop in receipts from last week’s already disappointing opening weekend only proves our theory that the idea of George Clooney is more appealing than George Clooney himself. Congratulations George, you’re now in the same category as Cheese Strings and alcohol-based sunburn lotions) $6,207,000

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Weekend Box Office – Box Office Mojo