Judging by the trailers, the basic plot to Terminator Salvation has something to do with flesh-covered robots enslaving everything all over the place.

If that sounds terrifying – don’t worry, because according to other trailers we’ve seen John Connor defeats them by reprogramming a bunch of Roomba vacuum cleaners to infiltrate the enemy and destroy them from the inside.

We’re told this scene is particularly gripping, as one robot vacuum has to slowly suck up its own mother.

But this isn’t the only Terminator Salvation drama – no! There’s also a producer already suing other producers for 160 million in non-robot dollars.

If there’s one thing the Terminator movies tell us about the future, it’s that Star Trek isn’t even close to accurate. This is really a pretty big shame as we’d always thought that maybe one day our great, great grandchildren could beam our corpse to the table at family holiday meals. This would probably be a far less disgusting way to carry out a family tradition we intend to one day decree in our will.

But no – the John Connor-future is a grisly one wherein shape-shifting robots stab things with their pointy hands, and then go on to replace David Duchovny on the X-Files. It’s also a place at war – and while you’re trying to visibly emote behind a pile of sand bags or something, lighting people rudely walk by – completely throwing off your game.

Also in the future, Comcast will probably make Connor & co pay for internet by the minute. That’s probably the catalyst causing John to realise he needs to lead the rebellion.

The future doesn’t necessarily look bad for one guy though – if his lawsuit goes through that is. The man we’re talking about is Moritz Borman – and there’s not anything slightly off about his name at all. Moritz is suing some Salvation producers for $160 million.

All Headline News has the specifics:

“Moritz Borman has filed the suit in Los Angeles Superior Court on Friday against Derek Anderson and Victor Kubicke and their Halcyon Co. banner for more than $160 million…[Borman] said that financial backing for the movie was secured through investment fund Pacificor LLC in exchange for the movie’s approval rights, involvement in all creative decisions and a $5 million producing fee. But [Kubicke & Anderson] purportedly failed to honor their deal, “hijacking” the production in July last year and refused to pay him the $2.5 million balance of his producing fee.”

How exactly the $2.5 million mentioned up there turned into $160 million, we may never understand. When asked what he intends to do with the money should he win his case, Borman reportedly said:

“I’m gonna get me some cats.”

We don’t actually have a source for that last bit. We just don’t, ok?

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Two ways to tell that a TV show is in trouble: 1) its producers get fired and 2) the show is so terrible it makes people want to vomit tears.

And that spells a big uh-oh for Heroes, because both of those apply equally to it. The latter has done since around the end of the first season, but the former has only just happened. Heroes co-executive producers Jeph Loeb and Jesse Alexander have been given the boot by NBC in an attempt to make the show decent again.

There’s no word on who’ll replace Loeb and Alexander on Heroes, but we think it’ll be us. We have a three-point Heroes resuscitation plan raring to go, and it’s unbeatable. 1) Reduce the cast down to a key core of characters, 2) ditch all the time travel, and 3) bring in a new character who’s a cartoon time-travelling giraffe who speaks in rhymes like a rapper and has magical sunglasses. Kids still like rap, right?

Remember when everyone liked Heroes? You have to cast your mind back quite a way, but they did. When it started, Heroes was like Lost, except that it answered questions instead of wallowing around examining its own navel all the time.

Public opinion about Heroes has changed a little since then – it’s now like Lost except that nobody watches it, none of the characters are good, the stories are all rubbish, the acting is weak and all in all sitting through an episode is so pointless that you may as well spend an hour trying to push a goose up a badger’s bottom. Generally speaking.

It’s clear that Heroes needs something big to happen to change and, since NBC appears to be ignoring our calls to turn it into The Hayden Panettiere Rides A Mechanical Rodeo Bull In Slow Motion In A Swimsuit Hour, it’s decided to give the shove to a couple of co-executive producers instead. Variety reports:

Big shakeup on the staff of NBC’s “Heroes” came down on Sunday with the axing of co-exec producers Jesse Alexander and Jeph Loeb. Both had been with the show since its first season. It’s understood that Alexander and Loeb were let go because of Peacock execs’ frustration with the creative direction of the show.

It’s absolutely right that NBC should be concerned about the creative direction of Heroes. If the show continues to slide in quality at its present rate then we expect the entire second half of this season to consist of nothing but Mohinder waffling endless half-sentences about destiny and God and genetics to a photograph of a duckling. Actually, we take that back – we’d much prefer to watch that than Heroes as it currently is.

But, hey, if anyone can turn Heroes around, it’s the network executives. Give them a few million dollars to focus group the problem and we’re sure they’ll get Heroes back on its feet.

Well, it won’t be Heroes as such – it’ll be a new show set in space, and all the characters will be kung-fu girls in bikinis, and the end of each episode will be decided by text-vote, and it’ll be called Heroez and afterwards there’ll be a real-life reality show all about the dramatic ups and downs of Hayden Panittiere and Milo Ventimiglia‘s relationship called Heroez: Unzipped – but kids like shows that have a ‘Z’ instead of an ‘S’ at the end, right?