Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
It might surprise you to learn that dubstep superstar Skrillex has managed to evade our detection up until now. Fans of uninspired, grimy rubbish need live in fear no longer. He finally matters to us!
Why do we suddenly care what the Greasy-Haired Prince of the Undercut is up to? Well, in case you haven’t heard he’s been making kissy-faces with Ellie Goulding of “having a jaw the size of a cruise-liner” fame.
There we go, there’s your jokes about their appearances. Did you enjoy them? No? Good.
Judging by the trailers, the basic plot to Terminator Salvation has something to do with flesh-covered robots enslaving everything all over the place.
If that sounds terrifying – don’t worry, because according to other trailers we’ve seen John Connor defeats them by reprogramming a bunch of Roomba vacuum cleaners to infiltrate the enemy and destroy them from the inside.
We’re told this scene is particularly gripping, as one robot vacuum has to slowly suck up its own mother.
But this isn’t the only Terminator Salvation drama – no! There’s also a producer already suing other producers for 160 million in non-robot dollars.
Two ways to tell that a TV show is in trouble: 1) its producers get fired and 2) the show is so terrible it makes people want to vomit tears.
And that spells a big uh-oh for Heroes, because both of those apply equally to it. The latter has done since around the end of the first season, but the former has only just happened. Heroes co-executive producers Jeph Loeb and Jesse Alexander have been given the boot by NBC in an attempt to make the show decent again.
There’s no word on who’ll replace Loeb and Alexander on Heroes, but we think it’ll be us. We have a three-point Heroes resuscitation plan raring to go, and it’s unbeatable. 1) Reduce the cast down to a key core of characters, 2) ditch all the time travel, and 3) bring in a new character who’s a cartoon time-travelling giraffe who speaks in rhymes like a rapper and has magical sunglasses. Kids still like rap, right?
