This week’s cream and cheese.

Folded:

• Inception (we finally know what it’s about. Sounds a bit stupid, frankly, but will probably be amazing anyway)
• Salt and vinegar Pringles (once you’ve popped, you’re fat. Still, lifting the tubes is some exercise)
• Voting (did you? Too late now. Can’t complain when baseball caps are banned, etc)
• Clothes on Film is one year old (nearly four years behind the ‘spray and still with that new site smell)
• Staying after the credits (if you’ve made it through the film that is)

Creased:

• Danny Dyer (lovely bloke)
• Why you shouldn’t eat salt and vinegar Pringles (ruins everything, but we had to know)
• Not voting (is as stupid as those yoof TV programmes tell you. Unless you’re not from the UK, in which case carry on)
• Flashing LED on a BlackBerry (means you ain’t going to sleep yet)
• John Lewis Up advert (another reason not to shop there in addition to all the pseudo, middle class wannabe toffs that frequent the place)

This week’s uppers and downers.

Folded:

• Prawn cocktail Pringles (these really make sense)
• I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry (annoying toy lesbian or taking the piss? Probably taking the piss, so laugh)
• Madonna’s jiggly boobs in the 4 Minutes video (okay, so we’re not Nuts magazine, but we’ve got eyes)
• Genuine Childs (they guys composed the menu music for The Bourne Identity DVD, just in case you were wondering)
• The XXIX Olympiad (numbingly compulsive. Quick, badminton is on!)

Creased:

• The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (the curse of Rob Cohen strikes again)
• Overuse of metaphors on The Hotel Inspector voiceover (about a former-lighthouse B&B: ‘The owners are all at sea’, ‘About to enter choppy waters’ or ‘The bathroom is flushed for success’)
• Bad news about Paul Newman (83 year old smoker or not, this sucks for a Hollywood legend. That’s right, legend. No exaggeration)
• Fat beauty queens (wow, look at the girl in white – she’s MASSIVE!)
• Alexander O’Neal (recently on Celebrity Wife Swap. Believe the hype! From twenty years ago)