The Royal Family, God bless each and every one of them.
Just hearing their names makes us want to slip into our Union Jack underpants and stand proudly with our flags bellowing in the wind. People may accuse The royals of doing bugger all, but we know their game. After all, they are the most high-profile benefit cheats in the country – literally getting millions for doing nothing.
Occasionally, Prince Charles will mutter something about wanting to be king whilst Prince Philip will break into a semi-xenophobic comment. Tragically, Princess Diana left nothing apart from a charity record, a damaged tunnel in Paris and a child who dresses like a Nazi. Don’t go thinking she’s dead and buried yet, though – plans are afoot to bring out a delicious line of Princess Diana jams. Why? Well to be honest we’re not quite sure, but it’s in better taste than a Princess Diana Scalextric.
