You have to hand it to Whitney Houston – she’s really great at being a mental famous person. While you have to acknowledge the power of her lungs, we all know damn well that she’s remembered for (alleged) crack cocaine use, throwing tantrums and being in a lousy relationship with Bobby Brown.
Oh, and that bit in the ‘I Will Always Love You‘ video where it looks like she’s taking a dump in the snow as the key-change kicks in.
So which one is she doing now? Well, it involves an aeroplane and a clear will to die.
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Former husband 0f Courtney Cox and alleged actor David Arquette was thrown out of a Prince concert recently for committing the heinous crime of taking photos of ‘The Artist’ in his true, lizard form.
The singer has a notorious ‘no photography’ rule at his shows designed to protect him from the damage his reputation could take if the wider public was to see him in his true form.
However, Arquette managed to get his silly self into an altercation with security at the singer’s ‘Welcome 2 America’ shows at the Los Angeles Forum when a young boy flouted the singer’s no photography rule. The real pain of Arquette’s story is that this ‘altercation’ came straight after Prince had told the crowd they were allowed to take pictures.
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You may well think that Prince is some kind of mental freakshow who lives inside a sock made of gold, eating tinfoil all day while stroking his waxy skin… but he’s nothing compared to the complete train wreck that is Whitney Houston.
That’s right. If you consider that Prince has to live with his weird self every stinking day, you’d imagine he’d have an astonishingly high level of tolerance for people who might be considered to be a little bit… uh… eccentric.
However, so nutso is Whitney that even Prince can’t stand her. Prince is so peeved with Houston that he’s banned her from his shows, taking away all her ticket privileges thanks to too many demands and her weird, weird behaviour.
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My early years took place in that terrible time of flux as the 80s closed and the 90s opened up.
The Berlin Wall was crumbling, Thatcher was on her way out, the greed-is-good years were still in full swing. So how the hell did the grown-ups of this era not do better than Saved by the Bell, Baywatch and Pat Sharp’s inhumane hair?
Thankfully we’ve been able to brush most of this era under the now-tastefully-plain carpet and are free to enjoy The Hoff’s slide into implosive alcoholism without red Speedos sullying anyone’s eyes. However, this weekend saw a blast from the past. Much like long-forgotten pictures of you sporting yesteryear’s fashion you may remember this particular blast fondly, but would never admit that to your friends. PRINCE IS BACK!
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The Internet was unavailable for comment last night following the news that Prince has proclaimed its death.
That said, we’re pretty sure it Googled the phrase ‘career of Prince’ in order to come up with a definition of ‘dead’.
In an interview with The Mirror, Prince announced that “the internet’s completely over” despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Rumours that he also believes that the days of ‘gravity’ and ‘the sky’ are also numbered are unconfirmed.
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Here’s a guest blog by Josh out of Interestment…
Contrary to what your destroyed and embittered careers advisor screamed into your face – flecks of saliva spattering your cheeks – becoming an actor isn’t just a hobby, it’s a job.
Just look what happens when non-actors like Britney Spears, Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston give it a bash – they ruin films. Completely ruin them.
And yet, while those three were totally rubbish, every once in a while a marvelous young pop star will come along and blow our minds. Here are four great singers/actors…
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This is just a hunch, but we get the feeling that Prince smells like a mixture of hair lacquer, stale jism and very old ladies.
And we don’t know about you, but that’s a smell we’d love to imitate – that way people might think we’re a tiny androgynous control freak with no real sense of quality control, too. Oh, why can’t Prince ever get around to creating his own perfume? Why?
What’s that? Prince did create his own perfume last year? But it didn’t really sell because Prince refused to promote it? And now the makers of the perfume are suing Prince because they’re unhappy with his lack of cooperation? Oh. You do realise that we were only joking back there, don’t you? We don’t really want to smell like Prince. That’d be quite creepy. Who’d want to do that?
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