We don’t know for sure, but we’d imagine that Jesus was a very tall man with abnormally ginger hair and a slight blueish tint to his skin.
Because we’ve looked at it from every angle, and the only explanation we can find for Conan O’Brien getting stalked by a Catholic priest is that the priest figured he was the actual son of God, which must also mean that The Masturbating Bear is John The Apostle or something, but we haven’t really thought it through that far.
Anyway, the important news is that Conan O’Brien’s stalky priest, the Rev. David Ajemian, won’t be going to jail. He has, however, been ordered to stay away from Conan O’Brien for two years, meaning that Conan’s set for quite the hefty backlog of angry threatening letters written in blood come April 2010.
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We don't know for sure, but we'd imagine that Jesus was a very tall man with abnormally ginger hair and a slight blueish tint to his skin.
Because we've looked at it from every angle, and the only explanation we can find for Conan O'Brien getting stalked by a Catholic priest is that the priest figured he was the actual son of God, which must also mean that The Masturbating Bear is John The Apostle or something, but we haven't really thought it through that far.
Anyway, the important news is that Conan O'Brien's stalky priest, the Rev. David Ajemian, won't be going to jail. He has, however, been ordered to stay away from Conan O'Brien for two years, meaning that Conan's set for quite the hefty backlog of angry threatening letters written in blood come April 2010.
Now, the more religious of you might look at Britney Spears and think "there's a young lady going straight to hell" – but Britney Spears is determined not to go to hell, and she doesn't care how many priests she has to seduce to avoid it.
Although the whirlpool of custody cases and drug allegations and head-shaving, vagina-baring madness has overtaken Britney Spears' life at the moment, it's good to see that Britney hasn't completely turned her back on what she's good at – annoying the clergy. One of the booklet photos for Britney Spears' new album Blackout has caused controversy among Catholics because it shows Britney Spears sitting on a priest's lap in a short skirt. If anything, though, the Catholics should be pleased by this – the priest in the photo clearly isn't aroused at all by Britney Spears, and is instead wearing a facial expression halfway between "What's that smell? Has someone farted?" and "Oh Christ no, not the vagina again!"
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We don’t know for sure, but we’d imagine that Jesus was a very tall man with abnormally ginger hair and a slight blueish tint to his skin.
