Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
The curse of Celebrity Big Brother is rearing its ugly head again as former contestants and professional divorcees Alex Reid and Chantelle Houghton announce that they think they're ready to reproduce.
Jordan?s former fella spread the word via one of those glossy lady rags that you see in your dentist?s waiting room, but would never pick up because there's a picture of Alex Reid on the cover trying his best to look like he's still a cage-fighter?
…or vaguely relevant.
Big Brother is over kids and now, Channel 4 will be in a flap about what they can show in the summer of 2011. Knowing the broadcaster, they will opt for either flogging countless repeats of Friends, Come Dine With Me or Sex In the City.
Over the course of the time it was on our screens, the once social experiment has changed from the evolvement of human situation to peak time viewing of a woman/beast wanking herself off with a bottle.
Once Big Brother 2010 finished, the ?ultimate? edition was launched. Basically, it was a chance for fame hungry ex contestants to throw themselves in the limelight before getting their tits out in Zoo Magazine. Again. Preston and Chantelle found love in the house, divorced in the real world and amazingly reunited back in the house. See where this is going?
Big Brother is great isn’t it? It gets a bunch of humans and puts them in a completely unrealistic situation and slowly watches them wither away like banded haemorrhoids. The latest, and quite possibly the quickest person to have her mental blood supply cut off is Chantelle who, in 2 days, has done a lot of weeping.
This is all thanks to the Big Brother producers taking someone who is, essentially, a very sweet but ultimately dim girl, and locked them in a house with their ex husband. That isn’t cruel at all is it?
And now, just as predicted, the old feelings have come back leaving Chantelle broken, emotional and soon-to-be jaded with the world.
Christmas is coming – you can tell by that distinct chill in the air, the look of barely-contained glee on the faces of children and the sight of a red-faced, bulge-eyed former Hollyoaks actor hurling swearwords at a cluster of young families.
That former Hollyoaks actor, as if it could be anyone else, was our old friend Paul Danan – who up to six of you may remember from also being on Celebrity Love Island a couple of years ago. Paul Danan was all set to play Jack in the local panto production of Jack And The Beanstalk at Preston's Charter Theatre this year, but now he's not. What could Paul Danan have done to lose such a searingly high-profile acting role? Why, screaming "Come on, make some motherfucking noise!" at the disparate gaggle of bewildered children and pensioners who'd come to see Danan switch on Preston's Christmas lights, of course.
