On an average day, hecklerspray gets inundated with hundreds of emailed press releases. Some are good, most are boring and a tiny minority are so awful they actually defy definition.

That’s why, starting this week, we’ve decided to start cherrypicking the very worst PR emails that we’re sent for your pleasure. We’re not trying to prove anything by doing this, other than shine a light on why we seem so cranky all the time.

This week: HINT Essence Water:

From: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Date: Wed, Jan 14, 2009 at 4:58 PM
Subject: Young Celebs Are Drinking…
To: hecklerspray

Good afternoon,

Today’s hottest, young starlets all have one thing in common – their drink of choice, but it’s not what you think.

Lauren Conrad, Miley Cyrus and Blake Lively have been spotted at around town while drinking under the influence…of all-natural water by HINT Essence Water.  The girls love it because it’s thirst quenching and won’t ruin their slender figures which is perfect for those New Years’ resolutions.

Please contact me if you would like a hi-res images or samples.

Best,

Jamie

Why thanks, Jamie. If we may, though, we’d just like to point out one thing. If people want to be like either Lauren Conrad, Miley Cyrus or Blake Lively, they shouldn’t drink HINT Essence Water. They should drink water containing dangerous levels of insecticides. Again, that’s water containing dangerous levels of insecticides.

Lots of love,

hecklerspray