Donald Trump is a man of many talents; he pioneered the modern day comb over, he discovered that President Obama was actually a Senegalese street cleaner called Babacar Ousamane, causing him to resign from the Presidency and is rumoured to have been the man who killed Kim Jong-il, with a Chuck Norris style roundhouse.
But now, ‘The Donald,’ as he is known, has made his most audacious claim yet, he (and he alone) is personally responsible for the meteoric rise to fame of the 21st Century musical behemoth, Lady Gaga.
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In these times of immense global hardships, it’s reassuring that governments are doing what they need to do.
Like creaming themselves over Brad Pitt. Wait, no, hang on, what? Even though it’s probably right at the very bottom of their priority list – just after ‘stop the world slumping into an irreversible environmental and financial catastrophe’ and ‘buy more milk for the fridge’ – the entire US government froze up yesterday so that Brad Pitt could chat to senior politicians, including the actual president, about charity.
Next week: Jennifer Aniston shouts at the Lithuanian interior minister through a megaphone about her fingernails.
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