Articles tagged with: Pregnant
Kourtney Kardashian & The Koat Hanger
Imagine just how difficult it must be as a pregnant Kardashian - you're body's got incredibly large, fleshy lumps spilling over both sides, and your several dozen tiny bathing suits no longer fit. This is particularly a shame as they literally cost you thousands. Perhaps these are all reasons why the recently pregnant Kourtney is telling us she considered the A-word as a means of baby disposal. Sure, if she goes through with the abortion it'll probably be in the third trimester for a ratings boost, but now it looks like she's gonna birth the kid as a ratings boost instead.
Imagine just how difficult it must be as a pregnant Kardashian - you're body's got incredibly large, fleshy lumps spilling over both sides, and your several dozen tiny bathing suits no longer fit. This is particularly a shame as they literally cost you thousands. Perhaps these are all reasons why the recently pregnant Kourtney is telling us she considered the A-word as a means of baby disposal. Sure, if she goes through with the abortion it'll probably be in the third trimester for a ratings boost, but now it looks like she's gonna birth the kid as a ratings boost instead.
Scientists Make Celine Dion Another Baby
There was a time not so long ago that to have a baby, one had to petition the Most High until he blessed her with a swollen womb and an ample supply of spooj. But now anybody can have a baby whether God wants them to or not. For instance, even though it's clear that everybody in heaven is very much against giving Celine Dion heirs to still record albums long after she's dead, it's happening anyway. Somehow, after years of scientific struggle, she's pregnant again.
There was a time not so long ago that to have a baby, one had to petition the Most High until he blessed her with a swollen womb and an ample supply of spooj. But now anybody can have a baby whether God wants them to or not. For instance, even though it's clear that everybody in heaven is very much against giving Celine Dion heirs to still record albums long after she's dead, it's happening anyway. Somehow, after years of scientific struggle, she's pregnant again.
Kourtney Kardashian Is Shoved Full Of Babies (Not Neccessarily Plural)
What children need when coming into this world is stability, warmth, and most importantly, a great big butt to spill out of when the doctor comes a'callin'. After all, the the more exit room the less likely the baby is to realise that that's exactly what a fart must feel like. In a world where children's fart sympathy is starting to cause so much unrest, we really can't stress big-birthing-butt importance enough. Speaking of which - a Kardashian is stuffed with child, and we don't mean their mother again!
What children need when coming into this world is stability, warmth, and most importantly, a great big butt to spill out of when the doctor comes a'callin'. After all, the the more exit room the less likely the baby is to realise that that's exactly what a fart must feel like. In a world where children's fart sympathy is starting to cause so much unrest, we really can't stress big-birthing-butt importance enough. Speaking of which - a Kardashian is stuffed with child, and we don't mean their mother again!
Robert Pattinson Shares His Vampiric Seed With Kristen Stewart. Maybe.
It's sure to come as a shock, but try not to go for your gun straight away, whether it's to go on a killing rampage or to turn the barrel on yourself. Just hold on. You can get through this. It's damn hard though. We're struggling ourselves to come to terms with the news. Be comforted in the knowledge that hecklerspray is doing everything in its power to get to the bottom of this. For you see, Robert "Rob" Pattinson has gone and got Kristen Stewart pregnant, if reports are to be believed. Tweens and spinsters: he's cheated on you.
It's sure to come as a shock, but try not to go for your gun straight away, whether it's to go on a killing rampage or to turn the barrel on yourself. Just hold on. You can get through this. It's damn hard though. We're struggling ourselves to come to terms with the news. Be comforted in the knowledge that hecklerspray is doing everything in its power to get to the bottom of this. For you see, Robert "Rob" Pattinson has gone and got Kristen Stewart pregnant, if reports are to be believed. Tweens and spinsters: he's cheated on you.
Mel Gibson’s Russian Girlfriend Is Ripe With Child
Is Russia a third world country? Perhaps - but lets review the indicators before we rush to judgment. The first is that we've recently seen three television ads suggesting we send only 75¢ a day to what looks like a science-farm full of little bald Gorbachev clones. This doesn't sound like much until you know an apparently overweight Sally Struthers was their spokesperson, and the children had flies crawling across their head-spots. A second indicator to consider could be that their non-cloned population growth is so high they've begun to outsource for sperm donors. Mel Gibson, apparently, was quick to oblige.
Is Russia a third world country? Perhaps - but lets review the indicators before we rush to judgment. The first is that we've recently seen three television ads suggesting we send only 75¢ a day to what looks like a science-farm full of little bald Gorbachev clones. This doesn't sound like much until you know an apparently overweight Sally Struthers was their spokesperson, and the children had flies crawling across their head-spots. A second indicator to consider could be that their non-cloned population growth is so high they've begun to outsource for sperm donors. Mel Gibson, apparently, was quick to oblige.
Matthew Broderick & Sarah Jessica Parker: Unprotected Sex In The City
You know at the end of that 1999 Godzilla remake how even though the monster was dead, it still left big, green eggs all the heck over the place? Well Matthew Broderick's character was probably all "Oh eff! What the effing eff!" But it ended up he needn't have worried because the film flopped, graciously preventing a tired-already franchise from getting off the ground. The thing is - it appears he may have stopped worrying too soon about little lizard babies. Because his possibly-reptilian wife's southern regions are about to be torn asunder with twins.
You know at the end of that 1999 Godzilla remake how even though the monster was dead, it still left big, green eggs all the heck over the place? Well Matthew Broderick's character was probably all "Oh eff! What the effing eff!" But it ended up he needn't have worried because the film flopped, graciously preventing a tired-already franchise from getting off the ground. The thing is - it appears he may have stopped worrying too soon about little lizard babies. Because his possibly-reptilian wife's southern regions are about to be torn asunder with twins.
