What do you know about Willie Nelson? Chances are, only two things. The first is that he’s a singer and the second is that he smokes more weed than all the audience members of a Cypress Hill tour, combined.
So, if you can’t arrest Willie for his music, you can arrest him for being responsible for those great plumes of smoke that exit his lungs every two seconds that stink like a makeshift bong.
And that’s exactly what’s happened as Nelson was busted over the weekend in Texas for possession of six ounces of marijuana. He could get 6 months minimum and 2 years max in prison. As it is Texas, they’ll probably weigh up giving him the chair. Read More >>>
The early to mid-90s were an excellent time for that whole ‘rap’ thing.
Yes there was still the glamourising of violence, the drugs, the objectification of women and the explicit language – but at least it didn’t involve 50 Cent or P Diddy, or whatever in God’s name he’s called now.
It was a safer time when white kids in the suburbs could dream of their gangsta heritage without fearing for how much ‘bling’ they were wearing, a time when people could look forward to a Tupac release that wasn’t posthumous and one when Mr Warren G had released ‘Regulate‘.
You know the song. Everyone does. It was on the soundtrack to ‘Above the Rim‘, which wasn’t as good as ‘White Men Can’t Jump‘. It had Bernie Mac in it, so it really was never going to compete with the might of Wesley and Woody.
Take this little doozy for example: a woefully misguided anti-drugs PSA in which a talking dog decides to harrass a teenage girl about her drug use.
So – what has she been doing? Snorting three lines of coke over breakfast every morning? Jacking up a speedball during SAT revision? Rubbing blotter paper soaked in acid against her cherubic face? No. She’s … well … been smoking the odd joint. Seriously. Smoking weed. That’s it.
All of which is very ironic, because if the events in this commercial happened to us, we’d either:
a) Scream ‘Jesus Christ, a talking dog’, and immediately run to the nearest heroin dealer in order to get so dosed up we forgot this nightmare/
b) Give him a slap and shout ‘shut the fuck up, you furry little bastard! Might I remind you whose house this is? I’ll lie on the sofa all day smoking bongs if I want to, thank you very much, you condescending shitwad. Any more of this nonsense and you might find your next bowl of Winalot laced with arsenic. Clear?’
Good news! Mischa Barton – the thunderingly pointless star of The OC and little else – won't be going to jail for that time she drove around blasted on pot and booze.
According to reports, Mischa Barton decided to enter a no contest plea to her DUI charges, which means her only punishment will be three years' probation, three months of alcohol education classes and a small fine.
On reflection, this is probably the best result Mischa Barton could have hoped for. By avoiding jail, Mischa has freed up a large block of time she's already sworn to spend furthering the advancement of shoddy direct-to-DVD bargain bin movies that no normal person would ever dream of watching. And the world thanks her for that.
Gilligan's Island has a fond place in the hearts of all British people, as the show that none of us have seen but we all know about because of the constant references on other imported American TV shows.
Seriously, none of us have ever seen Gilligan's Island so we can't even begin to tell you what it's about. Although we can safely say that Gilligan's Island star Dawn Wells is a massive stinking pothead.
It's true – Dawn Wells pleaded guilty to reckless driving after police found all sorts of marijuana in her car last year. At this point we'd like to use a Gilligan's Island catchphrase as an ironic statement of Dawn Wells' situation, but we've never seen it so we'll just make one up instead – Cat's pyjamas!
Mischa Barton isn't just that one-time partly famous actress who was in The OC and nothing else at all after that, like you think she is.
No. Because Mischa Barton is also a criminal. That's right – a criminal just like Al Capone and Lil' Kim.
Mischa Barton has just been charged with DUI, driving without a license and pot possession following her arrest just after Christmas. That's bad enough for Mischa Barton, but just imagine how poor Hayden Panettiere feels being the only skinny attention-seeking celebrity not to be charged with driving like some sort of impaired dickwad. Don't worry Hayden! We're on our way! And we're bringing the elephant tranquilisers! You will not be left behind!
The early to mid-90s were an excellent time for that whole ‘rap’ thing.
