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It must be hard being Pippa Middleton; trying to be a serious business woman and gallivanting around London, made all the more difficult because everyone knows you for being the one with the arse that stole your sister’s wedding day.
Poor, poor Pippa.
But a tabloid picture editor has come forward and announced that newspapers would be offered around 300 or 400 pictures PER DAY of the fitter Middleton, none of which are of her arse.
“DO YOU KNOW THE WAY SESAME STREET?†barked the interrogators to the cold and quivering people at hecklerspray. After several hours of being abused and poked with spatulas we were finally let go, after the US Army finally realised we didn’t know how to get to Sesame Street.
More then likely because it’s not real.
But for once we have to hold our massive hands up and admit that someone does actually know where the sodding place is. Would you believe it, the person in question is the most unlikely of sources; none other then publicity-seeking semi-celebrity and occasional footballer David Beckham.
Perhaps he stumbled on the Street after getting lost on his journey back from training to his fifty-seven bathroomed mansion. You do have to feel sorry for the poor kid, seeing as he has probably just learned the difference between left and right.
The start of a new year is a time to wipe the slate clean, to reflect on one’s past negativity and move on determined to right one’s wrongs imbued with a fresh sense of goodwill and radiant positivity.
And that’s why the very first hecklerspray post of 2008 is all about celebrity divorces. Not only that, but it’s a betting odds post, meaning that we’re effectively giving you the chance to make a crazy amount of money by exploiting the misery of others. Over the next couple of days we’re giving you the chance to bet on which celebrity couple will be the first to file for divorce in 2008. Bah, radiant positivity is overrated, anyway.
So here are the celebrity divorce betting odds for Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, Posh and Becks and Ashley and Cheryl Cole, with help from Paddy Power…
