Alec Baldwin is old. And tired.

He’s old and he’s tired of wearing man girdles, and he just wants to be loved.

Don’t worry, Alec. We hear your desperate plea for love and affection. We hold our arms open wide for you – even wider if you don’t have your girdle on. We’re forever yours faithfully, Alec. Journey-style.

Unless, you know, you’re just saying all of this because you’re broke. Obviously, no one will want you if you’re broke.

Alec Baldwin is a long-standing figure in Hollywood. Easily the most successful of the famous Baldwin brothers – although, we just can’t help but keep rooting for Stephen – despite his ultra-messy divorce from Kim Basinger, and highly publicized custody battle over their daughter, Ireland. But his successful career and own sense of self-importance should provide all the happiness and fulfillment he needs.

Right? Money buys love, right? No?? Wait…does that mean that givin’ out all the goods on the first date doesn’t get you love either?? Our whole foundation of principles and values is crumbling before our eyes!!

But we digress. Yes, Alec Baldwin wants to be loved…by you. Just you. And nobody else but you. Or, at least, so the case may seem because he pretty much rags on everyone else in a recent interview with the New York Post. Alec’s outlook on life has changed over the years. He told the New York Post:

“I’ve been single for seven years and as I get older, I think all I want is to be loved. The world becomes a place where you think, let everyone else have it. Let them all fight over jobs and money . . . You want things in life that are lovely.”

For instance, one thing that is lovely is family. Alec says of his brothers:

“I was the oldest child, always worried about my parents. I was the one who raked the leaves and cut the grass and shoveled the snow and cleaned the dishes.My brothers were like hillbillies. They had no sense of responsibility.”

And Arnold Schwarzenegger. Alec’s passing out the warm fuzzies there, too:

“I’m sick and tired of everybody saying what a great guy he is. For me, his election as governor was offensive.”

But hey, you can read about all of this and more in Alec’s book coming out about “parental alienation”. It’s entitled A Promise to Ourselves: Fatherhood, Divorce and Family Law.

That’s love. It’s tender, isn’t it? Top it off with calling your young daughter a filthy little pig, or something, and you have yourselves the makings of a sweet, sweet love affair with Alec Baldwin.

Remember, Alec. Forever yours. Faithfully.