Posts tagged as:

police

Ja Rule Lives Up To Rap Stereotype By Getting Imprisoned On Gun Charges

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Ja Rule? He was really popular for about 10 minutes a few years ago. His rapping style is astonishing too. The sound is somewhere between talking to a man in a headlock, a deaf cow and the sound of gravel being thrown at a double bass. Unless you’re the kind of person who lusts [...]

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Lindsay Lohan’s Electronic Ankle Tag Starts Beeping Which Is Interesting

by Mof Gimmers

Now that Lindsay Lohan is under house arrest, she’s probably turned into a bit of a borebag. Her life has gone from wildly reckless and grottily glamorous to that of a student, loafing about and switching channels on the TV while sat in greasy undercrackers. Gone are the days when she’d have sex with either [...]

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Snooki Crashes Into Cop Car, Presumably After Realising How Irritating She Is

by Mof Gimmers

Snooki – a cross between a shaved Har Mar Superstar and a tin of off-creosote – is, once again, being filmed for some vapid, gaspingly bad television programme for MTV, the music channel that doesn’t show any music videos. And while shooting (with cameras, not guns sadly) the fourth season of Jersey Shore this weekend, [...]

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We Forgot To Laugh At Pete Doherty Getting Sent To Prison

by Mof Gimmers

Foetid, seeping, singing pus-sac – Pete Doherty – has had his stinkin’ behind hauled into jail after being a complete waste of everybody’s time and energy. Of course, this cements his place as an artistic-martyr to the scum that follow this godforsaken warbler, all now destined to write awful poetry in their mildew riddled hovels. [...]

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Channel 4 To Show You How To Take Drugs, For Educational Purposes Of Course

by Matthew Laidlow

It’s well known that the film industry has been long running out of ideas. Searching for an original piece of work is as rare as finding something nutritious in a fast food joint. All we seem to get in the cinema are adaptations of books, remakes of classic pieces of films from the past, pointless [...]

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Crazy Town Singer/Celebrity Rehab Bloke Possibly Done Something Bad- Conjecture Pointless

by Si Sharp

So this chap called Shifty Shellshock, who has recently been whoring himself on reality TV and and is in a band called Crazy Town, was picked up by the LAPD for knocking his ‘lady’ about. He denies it and who are we to argue? He told an interviewer that he didn’t do domestic violence and [...]

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The Only Person Still Stalking Madonna Gets Arrested

by Mof Gimmers

It’s the end of an era folks. The last remaining stalker that Madonna could call her own has finally been arrested, leaving her with only people who vaguely recognise her left on this godforsaken planet. That’s right, like the death of the dodo and the velociraptor (incidentally, both of these creatures share looks with Madge), [...]

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God Bless You Edward Furlong, You Mad, Broke Swine!

by Mof Gimmers

Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are everyone’s favourite lunatics. However, knocking them all into a cocked hat is the tremendously troubled Edward Furlong, who you may remember as Him From The Terminator Films. Well, this week, Furlong added another slice of bad behaviour to his CV, which is just great. Furlong was arrested [...]

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Fife Fife Baby, DJ Basshunter Denies Sexual Assault In Scotland

by Kris Silver

Basshunter, the lovable dance DJ behind such songs as ‘Now You’re Gone’ and… erm…  that other one he did, which seem designed to make your brain bleed with hate, has appeared in court in Kircaldy to deny two allegations of sexual assault. That’s right, the man who followed Ronnie Wood’s former missus, Ekaterina Ivanova, around [...]

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Was Lindsay Lohan Dyeing Her Hair Or Beating The Living Daylights Out Of A Betty Ford Worker?

by Mof Gimmers

Every single day, each one of us faces the same question – were we dyeing our hair a different colour or beating ten shades of faeces out of someone? And that’s exactly what is being asked of Lindsay Lohan at the moment. And only one man can answer! Apparently! And that! See, around the time [...]

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