11 days. That’s it. 11 days and it’s the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest. But don’t be sad, because we’ve still got an infuriatingly large amount of countries to get through before then.

And with such a short amount of time left until Eurovision, we’re sure you can imagine how busy it is over at Eurovision HQ! Why, just last week it was announced that Dita Von Teese might be performing with the Germans during their performance. Which is exciting, right? Right? Oh, why won’t anybody answer us?

Anyway, here’s the Eurovision 2009 rundown for Lidia Kopania from Poland…

Poland · Lidia Kopania, I Don’t Wanna Leave

Hey kids, do you like Celine Dion? You do? Then we’d guess you’re probably Polish, because this is the second year running that Poland has entered a Celine Dion soundalike into the Eurovision Song Contest. Last year’s entry vanished without trace, but will Lidia Kopania do any better? Oh, who knows. Her Eurovision biography largely ignore her in favour of endless crowing that her managers used to know Phil Collins or something, and I Don’t Wanna Leave is so treacly and bland that you could listen to it 400 times and not remember how it goes. It’s a good job you’re pretty, Lidia. We’ve voted for much less.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

Look here, it’s a fresh new batch of Eurovision betting odds. Bet you weren’t expecting that, huh?

The Eurovision clock is really ticking now – in just a few short days rehearsals for the Eurovision Song Contest will commence. And then all the contestants will be trapped in Belgrade – a city with a notorious history of violence. Let’s hope the marauding gangs of Serbian thugs see sense and don’t attack any of the Eurovision contestants and, if they do, that they go for the Estonians first.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Poland, with help from Paddy Power…

Poland (pop. 38,626,349; a democratic country located in Central Europe) Isis Gee, For Life

Firstly, we’d like to point out that there’d probably be a lot less meatheaded whining about Polish immigrants if everyone looked like Isis Gee. Secondly, we’d like to point out that insomnia would be a thing of the past if all singers sounded like Isis Gee. Her song For Life sounds like the romantic midpoint of a 1990s Disney movie, and is performed with all the gusto of a narcoleptic ME sufferer trying to decide which pair of socks to wear. Isis Gee might have the most impressive pedigree of the competition, but that doesn’t mean that For Life is very good. It might be very good – we keep dozing off every time we hear it, so who are we to judge? What we can tell you with some amount of certainty, though, is that the lyrics of For Life are all wishy-washy new-age self-help nonsense, and that if Peter Andre and Jordan ever release another single, it’ll probably be a cover version of this. That’s not an endorsement anyone would want. Current Eurovision betting odds – 100/1

Tomorrow: Portugal! But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Eurovision betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.