Do you like running around firing off endless rounds of deadly ammo in Arctic tundras, desolate landscapes, hugely lethal alien jungles, grim nuclear wastelands and the cold, dead air of space itself?

Well, if you’re reading that and taking it literally, we suggest you hand yourself into the nearest psychiatric ward.

However, if you thought: ‘Hey! That sounds like a fun computer game to me!‘, then you’re okay by us. And with the help of Killzone 3, which is due for release soon, you’ll be able to run around with guns! And stuff!

This new version of Killzone 3 looks like a cracker and already has team ‘spray gargling and dribbling with anticipation. Basically, this game, exclusive to the PlayStation 3 (sorry everyone who doesn’t own one) is as explosive as the last outings, but a much more cinematic affair, which means, of course, we can replace our dreary lives with this game.

You get to join ISA forces as they continually pop off round after round at those horrible Helghast lot.

And mercifully, you’ll have more vehicles, more weapons (weapons that blow-up, loads) and a particularly vicious close-combat system, which means that, once you get to know your enemy, you can do amazingly horrible things to them and laugh like a cackling lunatic while you do it.

That’s all anyone wants from a video game, right?

Berating you throughout the game is Drill Sergeant McCain who probably really loves you underneath all that shouting and abusing. Why, you can even get him to be nasty to you on Facebook (facebook.com/ultimaterecruit) and Twitter (twitter.com/SergeantMcCain).

BLAMMO!

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Seriously – there’s now a reason to own Sony’s overpriced, overhyped, stupidly-advertised superconsole the PlayStation 3. And what is it?

Karaoke.

If you’ve been at a party where someone has whacked on a games machine then it’s going to have either been Guitar Hero, Buzz or Singstar – if it’s anything else they’re an idiot and shouldn’t be your friend any more. Singstar lets you sing to dozens of pop hits, along with the many different genres that aren’t too alternative to alienate the general public. Though one version has Sublime’s Santeria on it, which is inspired.

Singstar also gives players two microphones – actual, real microphones. Not hair brushes, not small, random items you can hold in your hand and put to your mouth and sing into. Actual, genuine microphones (though they are, technically, small, random items you can hold in your hand and put to your mouth and sing into). When items like that get into the hands of boozed up fools, you know shit is about to kick off.

Alas, there was a constant stumbling block for the previous Singstar titles in that there was never enough choice of musical treats. Though the mechanics of the game – sing, get rated, laugh in your tone-deaf friend’s face – were perfect, something was missing. Sony decided to plug that gap this year with the magic of the superhighway informationnet digital content distribution hub.

Yes: you can download songs for the PS3 version. Inspired. Songs start at 99p per track and you get the pretty little video in the package too, so the choice of many hundreds of tunes is well worth it. There’s about 20 tracks pre-loaded on the game, just as there always has been, but the choice offered online is nothing short of utterly great.

Basically, it’s the future of party games. Until Rock Band comes out, at least.

[story by Ian Dransfield]