Posts tagged as:

Playboy

Hugh Hefner Keen To Point At His Own Crotch And Shout ‘I Use It All The Time And Not Just For Doing A Toilet’

by Mof Gimmers

Hugh Hefner is not a happy man. Is it because he sincerely thought Crystal Harris was his true love and there was genuine shock and misery at her jilting him at the altar, before going on to say nasty things about his prowess in the bedroom? Or is it because his male pride is taking [...]

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Crystal Harris Never Saw Hugh Hefner Naked (So Let Us Show You Then)

by Mof Gimmers

We were all pretty shocked when Crystal Harris decided to ditch Playboy founder, Hugh Hefner, just days before she was due to walk up the altar. They seemed like such a lovely couple. Perfect for each other in fact! Alas, it wasn’t to be and us mere mortals were denied the greatest love story ever [...]

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James Franco Prefers Books To Girls

by Michael Park

Arm-hacking enthusiast James Franco has confirmed the end of five-year relationship with actress Ahna O’Reilly citing a love of books as the reason for their terminating their ‘love contract’. The actor, famous for managing to look handsome while cutting off his arm in ’127 Hours’ has confirmed his five-year romance with Ahna O’Reilly has ended because [...]

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Hugh Hefner Surely Invented A Cloning Machine

by Amy Grindhouse

Hugh Hefner has invented a cloning machine. We’re presupposing as much because yet another girlfriend has been added to Hugh’s arsenal of glorified ladies of the night. Ever heard of November 2011 Playboy Playmate Shera Bechard? No? Us neither. A little too old for his tastes, we think, Shera is the 27-year-old new girlfriend of [...]

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Hugh Hefner Has Moved On To Anonymous, Replaceable Woman #24

by Michael Park

It takes a lot of work to be described as a legend. You have to be dedicated to what you do and do it well for years of your life. Eventually, your achievement is such that your creation will be on any imaginable number of products that make less and less sense. Imagine your logo [...]

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Shock As Hugh Hefner’s Impending Marriage To Crystal Harris Doesn’t Work Out

by Mof Gimmers

In perhaps the most shocking news of… well… an entire generation of human beings, Hugh Hefner’s relationship with Crystal Harris is over. Who would have ever thought that those two – one a similar age to fossil fuels, the other a 25 year old with dollar signs in her eyes – wouldn’t work out? And [...]

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Hugh Hefner’s Bride To Wear Pink At The Classiest Wedding In History

by Mof Gimmers

Hugh Hefner is old so it is funny that he’s getting married, especially given that his wife-to-be is roughly 6000 years younger than him. It gives us the opportunity to snigger at the potential bedroom antics of the newlyweds, with Hef trying to develop enough moisture to cry as his erection fails him once more. [...]

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170 People Probably Have Legionnaires Disease At Playboy Mansion: Everyone Looks Suspiciously At Hugh Hefner Because He’s So Old

by Mof Gimmers

Of all the diseases you could catch at the Playboy Mansion, legionnaires is probably pretty low down the list. It’s kinda cool that Playboy should revive such a retro disease though. Legionnaires hasn’t really been in the news since the late ’80s, which incidentally, was the last known erection maintained by Hugh Hefner. You read [...]

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Hugh Hefner Now Engaged To A Playmate Three Hundred Years His Junior

by Matthew Laidlow

At this time of year, you’ve probably gorged on stupid amounts of food and not spared a single thought for baby Jesus who Romans ended up nailing to a bit of wood. That’s right. Every year, you give gifts to celebrate a baby getting stapled to a cross. Or whatever the story says. Of course, [...]

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Pamela Anderson Cried All Over Her Boobs When She Posed Nude In Playboy

by Mof Gimmers

Hey pervs! Think about Pamela Anderson’s boobs for a moment. Got a picture of them in your head? That’s right – they’re the ones that mysteriously float half way up her torso, defying gravity like globules of milk in zero-gravity. Now imagine them spattered with salty fluid. No. Not that kind of fluid you filthy [...]

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