Posts tagged as:

Planet Of The Apes

Top 7 Non-Humans We Really Shouldn’t Want To Do It With, But We Do

by Si Sharp on September 20, 2011 4 Comments

Here at hecklerspray we have so much sweet love to give, that there’s not enough humans to satisfy our seemingly unquenchable libido.

Sure we’ve considered bestiality but we are sticklers for social etiquette and we’ve heard that being balls deep in a penguin is something of a no-no.

So far the closest we’ve come was to let a woodlouse crawl on our male/female parts. Yes. We have both. However, we’ve compiled a list of non-human totty that we just wouldn’t be able to resist.

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Estella Warren Assaults A Cop After DUI Arrest Then Flees Prison Like A Champ!

by Mof Gimmers on May 25, 2011 0 Comments

Estella Warren may not be a household name exactly, but some of you may recognise her from Planet Of The Apes and the fact she used to get her busters out as a Victoria’s Secret model. We’re not especially interested in that – we’re more thrilled about her law breaking skills.

The professional thong-occupier is in all kindsa trouble with the law after she went nutso while completely plastered!

She was arrested in Los Angeles under suspicion of driving under the influence. How did anyone know she was off her bap? There’s the small matter of (allegedly) crashing into three parked cars in her Toyota Prius. She then drove away from the scene thinking that no-one would notice. But they did. And that’s when the real fun started!

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Here Comes That Planet Of The Apes Prequel You Never Asked For

by Stuart Heritage on December 1, 2008 20 Comments

Do you find that Planet Of The Apes, its four movie sequels, movie remake, TV series, cartoon show and books haven’t left you satisfied?

Do you often get irritated because, even though you could literally drown in all the different versions of Planet Of The Apes that have been made over the years, nobody’s ever bothered to tell you what happened on the planet almost 2,000 years before the events of the original movie?

If you do, we have two pieces of advice for you – 1) hold onto your hat, because Fox is apparently very close to starting production on that exact Planet Of The Apes prequel, entitled Genesis: Apes, set 1,969 years before the original movie, and 2) stop wasting your life, you friendless nincompoop.

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty on May 2, 2008 2 Comments

We like this, we don’t like that.

Folded:

  • The return of The Music (but where have they been?)
  • Planet of the Apes DVD collection for £10 at HMV (£10 would be worth it for one of the films)
  • Finally playing Grand Theft Auto IV (it’s not much of a departure from the previous games, but is that a bad thing? It is not)

Creased:

  • Teen-aimed comedy (there sure is a lot of it on TV at the moment. Teenagers should be taking paracetamols and shoplifting in H&M, not wasting time in front of the box. Save that for the rest of us)
We like this, we don’t like that. Folded: * The return of The Music (but where have they been?) * The Gourmet Chocolate Pizza Company (they make tasty chocolate pizzas for those who already have beef ice cream and orange flavoured brie) * Planet of the Apes DVD collection for £10 at HMV (£10 would be worth it for one of the films) * Stella Artois’ Pass It On advert (For the music really, a beautiful original composed score by Jim Copperthwaite) * Finally playing Grand Theft Auto IV (it’s not much of a departure from the previous games, but is that a bad thing? It is not) Creased: * Forgetting Sarah Marshall (not as awful as shutting your fingers in a car door, but nowhere near as funny as it thinks it is) * Leica M8 camera - £3000 (for a still camera’s body? We wouldn’t pay that for Scarlett Johansson’s body) * Teen-aimed comedy (there sure is a lot of it on TV at the moment. Teenagers should be taking paracetamols and shoplifting in H&M, not wasting time in front of the box. Save that for the rest of us) * Tesco no longer stopped selling Robinson’s Grape and Melon High Juice (so, we riot...) * Scarlett Johansson's singing (this she isn't good at. Body stuff, fine. Singing, no)