plane - HecklerSpray

Whitney Houston Just Wants To Die On A Plane

October 14th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

You have to hand it to Whitney Houston – she’s really great at being a mental famous person. While you have to acknowledge the power of her lungs, we all know damn well that she’s remembered for (alleged) crack cocaine use, throwing tantrums and being in a lousy relationship with Bobby Brown.

Oh, and that bit in the ‘I Will Always Love You‘ video where it looks like she’s taking a dump in the snow as the key-change kicks in.

So which one is she doing now? Well, it involves an aeroplane and a clear will to die.

Gerard Depardieu Takes A Leak On A Plane Again, This Time, Dressed Like Obelix

September 6th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ah, Gerard Depardieu! It doesn’t really matter what you do with your career now because you’ll always be remembered as that drunk French guy who had a wazz in the aisle of an Air France plane.

WAIT!

What’s this? He’s at it again? This time, dressed as Obelix from Asterix? Really? How brilliant. Can we keep him?

Gerard Depardieu Wasn’t Drunk When He Emptied His Gaul Bladder On A Plane, Which Makes It Alright Then

August 19th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ah, Gerard Depardieu. He’s a daft old drunk isn’t he? When he emptied his bladder in the aisle of an Air France plane, we all chuckled about the effects of alcoholism in mental actors, but alas, we were all hugely wrong!

See, Gerard wasn’t drunk at all! He really wants to point out that he was as sober as can be.

Which surely, makes the whole ‘getting your chap out before a load of passengers and then taking a steaming leak all over the carpet’ thing considerably worse, right? Is he saying that being drunk is more shameful than wazzing in public?

Gerard Depardieu Gets His Lad Out On A Plane And Unloads It In The Aisle

August 17th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Gerard Depardieu is the world’s most unlikely sex symbol, what with him having a face like a bear ravaged buttock that belongs to a scaly vagrant. Yet, the ladies love him! Is it because he’s a suave, refined man?

Well it can’t be that, given that this week, the French actor decided to have a massive piss in the aisle of an Air France plane.

No seriously.

Brooke Mueller Has Trouble On A Big Aeroplane Thanks To Being A Massive Berk

July 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Brooke Mueller, a woman who was daft enough to have children with Charlie Sheen and rather fond of crack-pipes, may well be thinking of getting back with the former Two And A Half Men chump (once the divorce goes through, confusingly enough), but that doesn’t mean she has to be nice to people on planes.

Mueller got into a spot of bother with the crew of a United jet from L.A. to Cancun (where, we’re told, the crack is AMAZING) and ended up exiting a flight early.

Sadly, she didn’t open the door mid-flight and end up sucking all the passengers out of the plane til there was nothing left but screaming specks on the horizon.

Take That Are Scared Of Lightning- The Soppy Gits

July 14th, 2011 By Michael Park

Take That are bunch of drips, aren’t they? If they’re not gyrating around in front of millions of middle-aged women or complaining about press intrusion in?effete Northern accents, they’re having little panic attacks about getting felt up by giant robots. Or something like that.

Their latest woe has come in the form of a little bit of lightning which gave the lads the heebie-jeebies when their tour plane was lightly struck by it ahead of the start of the European leg of their Progress tour. Oh no! Did they survive the ordeal?!

Of course they did.

Paris Hilton Caught Up In Airplane Incident Not Related To Snow But Relating To Knife

December 23rd, 2010 By Matthew Laidlow

At the moment, the UK is currently being gripped by an incident so worrying and terrifying that big name directors are already battling for the rights to secure a Hollywood account of it. Gripped by the elements, Jack Frost has grounded transport, stranded thousands and given countless individuals an easy excuse to skive off work.

Remember, this is in the UK where a few flakes of snow cause TV stations to dispatch hundreds of journalists to the scene so we can see what snow looks like in York, Slough and Oldham!

In LA, the weather is normally warmer with the exception of the occasional earthquake, though Cumbria recently enjoyed its own. There, (LA, not Cumbria) Paris Hilton wasn?t stuck behind a threatening snowman, instead a flight she boarded an unwanted visitor, a big sharp pointy knife!

Derren Brown Special Seems A Bit Familiar

August 5th, 2012 By Kris Silver

Derren Brown, the British mind magician and all around annoying show off, has wowed the slackjawed public with his latest special, Hero at 30,000 feet, in which he takes a bad actor an average guy and turns him into a hero? at 30,000 feet (this is achieved with a plane in case you haven't yet realised it).

Now, I'm not one to nit-pick (not true, I really am), but I had a bone to pick with this show. Most people will tell you that it was all staged and that it was done with split screen technology or something equally annoying, but that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was? Derren Brown appears to have just made a mockumentary version of Donnie Darko.

Top 10 Most Ridiculous Die Hard Scenes

September 1st, 2010 By Kris Silver

With Sly Stallone’s bizarre announcement that he’d like Bruce Willis to appear as a villain in The Expendables 2 (because apparently flogging a dead horse once just isn’t enough) we here at Hecklerspray decided to man up and have ourselves a good, ol’ fashioned Die Hard marathon, to re-acquaint ourselves with one of our favourite action movie icons.

But something troubled us deeply, Die Hard, Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Die Hard 3: Die Hard With a Vengeance and Die Hard 4.0: Life Free or Die Hard, the scenes seemed to be a lot more ridiculous than we remembered. Happily this meant that we can bring you the top 10 most ridiculous scenes from the Die Hard series.

Be prepared for explosions, gravity defying stunts and an old man who’s harder than the nails in his coffin in this summer’s most action packed, critically acclaimed and hotly anticipated Hecklerspray top 10!

Winona Ryder Gets Ill, But Not Enough For You To Care

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Now that she’s pushing 40, Winona Ryder can’t really pull off that pixie waif look any more, so it’s time for a change.

And, as such, Winona Ryder has decided to try out a brave new look for visit to London this week. It’s a look that fashion insiders have already dubbed ‘worryingly ill on an aeroplane chic’. And Winona Ryder pulls it off with aplomb, or at least she did yesterday when she got ill on an aeroplane to London and had to be rushed to hospital upon landing.

But don’t worry, solitary remaining Winona Ryder fan – despite rumours of an overdose, your skinny hero was quickly discharged from hospital. And for an extra dollop of good news, Winona Ryder left the airport by ambulance, so she didn’t even set off the metal detectors with all the cutlery she’d been compulsively stashing down her trousers for the duration of the flight (please don’t sue us for making that last bit up).