Folded:

• Pineapple Express (funny, all-knowing nudge towards 1980s comedy action classics)
• Kelly Thiebaud (been in virtually all of David Guetta’s music videos, but she looks best in this one)
• James Bond leaping about in the new Quantum of Solace trailer (if this is as disappointing as Indy IV we’re getting a gun)
• Yearbookyourself.com (they don’t always work, but when they do you’ll hardly recognise your ugly mug)
• The September Film4 advert playing Morricone’s Ritratto d’Autore (because we’re cultured like that and it’s a beautiful piece of music)

Creased:

• Who Do You Think You Are? (or Who Cares Who You Are?)
• The Titan vegetable trimmer (it’s a twenty quid potato peeler. We watch too much television)
• Kerry Katona all brand new (gorgeous)
• James Bond now wearing jeans (and a singlet vest probably too)
• Rocknrolla (Jackanory for cronies)