Photoshop - HecklerSpray

Madonna Is Already Pissing Everyone Off In 2015

January 4th, 2015 By Megan Leitch

Madonna must be trying to go for a new record for “Fastest Famous Person to Irritate the Shit and Offend Everyone in the New Year” because we are mere days into 2015 and she is already stirring the pot.? She has apparently decided to shift from using Instagram to show off how much a “cool mom” she is, to now showing how she is just like Martin Luther King Jr. And Nelson Mandela.? And Princess Diana.

Of course, after people starting laughing their asses off in between bouts of outrage, Madonna tried to backtrack and blame the whole mess on her fans.? Because it is always smart to bite the hand that feeds you your Botox.

The Kardashians Are Ruining The Internet, Part 1

November 13th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

Just when shit starts to calm down a bit with the Kardashians, these bitches come out guns a-blazing and take over every damn media outlet with their bullshit.? Kim Kardashian has proven once again why she is the least seriously taken celebrity whore around by showing off her plastic filled ass for some random magazine.

Paired off with some serious Fraggle Rock hair and her biggest dipshit smile, Kim’s project was entitled “Break the Internet” but?I am certain “Ruin the Internet FOREVER” is much more applicable.? As if destroying the sanctity of reality television wasn’t bad enough.

Lena Dunham Is In Vogue And People Are Losing Their Shit

January 19th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

For months it was rumored that Lena Dunham, the current face of the “real women” movement, was going to be on the cover of Vogue.? There was a lot of speculation on how her cover would look, considering the magazine is known for only featuring chicks with massive ITG (Inner Thigh Gap) that pass Anna Wintour’s scowl puss test.

Now the magazine is out and people are divided on how they feel.? Some are screaming “This is bullshit!” because of the Photoshop used, while others are wondering what the hell the first group expected considering even TV Guide does a little blur and liquify on their soap stars.

Surprise, Surprise, Kim Kardashian Posts Photoshopped Selfie

January 8th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

Part slut, part plastic, all famewhore,?Kim Kardashian is known for plenty of things, but honesty is not one of them. ?Golden showers, a penchant for boning athletes, being Kanye West’s life sized dress up doll, sure.? But being a truthful real person?? Yeah, not so much.

Which is why it shouldn’t be all that shocking that Kim has gone out of her way to Photoshop even her Instagram pictures now in her quest to prove how hot she is post pushing a fetus out.? And yet somehow, I think I respect Kardashian even less than before, which I did not think was humanly possible.

Gisele Bundchen Is Sick Of Photoshop, The World Is Sick Of Gisele

May 28th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

Break out the cake and balloon animals, because it’s time we all threw Gisele Bundchen a pity party.?

The former Victoria’s Secret angel is urging the fashion world to ditch the Photoshop when it comes to advertising campaigns, saying that “our imperfections are what makes us unique and beautiful”. Uh huh, come back when you’ve got a hunchback, moustache and wonky eyes, then we might start taking your thoughts on imperfection seriously.

Want To Look Haggard And Sinewy? Let Madonna’s Chain Of Gyms Help!

October 26th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

There’s no questioning Madonna’s ability to sell a record or two is there? There’s not much better than hearing ‘Into The Groove’ on a Friday night. Even some of her more recent work has sold a bucket load.

However, it’s elsewhere in life she seems utterly hopeless. She’s rubbish at having relationships and even worse at making films. That part of her CV doesn’t read well at all.

Still, that’s not stopping her from branching out! Weirdly, Madge and her manager Guy Oseary are in the process of opening of a fitness centre which they plan to go global.

You Were Never Meant to See Madonna Looking Sinewy, Okay?

October 6th, 2010 By Amy Grindhouse

The fact that you weren’t supposed to see Madonna’s chicken cutlet cheeks and sinewy arms, without them first being glossed over with an airbrush, is no real surprise.

Pictures leaked, last week, that showed the singer looking haggard. Well, looking her actual age. And that’s got the 52-year-old hopping mad. Well, okay. She’s more punching mad if that’s a real thing. MADONNA, SMASH.

We’re probably going to get our faces smashed in for just mentioning this. So forgive us for typing this on our iPhones while hiding behind the hecklerspray High School bike sheds. We’re going to tell you lovely folk about Madonna’s ropey-armed rage attack after unauthorised images from her recent Dolce & Gabbana campaign were release to her embarrassment. And then we’re going to run for the hills leaving nothing but clouds of dust and urine stains behind us.

Demi Moore Doesn’t Need Photoshop, Says Demi Moore

December 22nd, 2009 By Amy Grindhouse

Demi Moore is the world’s prettiest bag of bones in a designer outfit.

She is also the prettiest person married to Ashton Kutcher. So, will you guys bloomin’ stop saying that her skinny face and stunning body need to be Photoshopped to be fabulous? Because they don’t! Demi is even willing to sue over claims that her legs and torso were airbrushed for W magazine. She and her lawyers are chomping at the bit – but don’t worry, their anger isn’t really directed towards you.

Demi was caught in the middle of a really tiny scandal a few weeks back. It was about as scandalous as being accused of dying away grey hairs. But she insisted on making a mountain out of a molehill. Not an actual mole, mind you. Otherwise that would need Photoshopping/ surgically removing too, like it did for Sarah Jessica Parker. Then we’d be caught in one long uroboros-style scandal that would never, ever die.